My grandfather always said to me "Always give the hardest job to the laziest man for he will find the easiest way to do it."
I remember hearing an old story about that one. An ancient king once asked his advisers to give him a phrase that could cheer him up when he was down, and that could also be used to bring him down when he was happy. After many failures, someone eventually told him: "this too shall pass".
This saying is what got me through my time in the US NAVY.
The Tolkien quote "Not all who wander are lost" has always resonated with me. In today's culture, there's this incredible focus on the idea of planning every aspect of your life out. In high school, we're expected to choose a college which will in turn decide our future careers. I chose a college, but learned that I was much too young to understand what I wanted to do or accomplish in my lifetime. I get asked fairly frequently when I plan on returning to school, or what I want to do with my life. But I'm content with fluttering between jobs that interest me and constantly moving around the country. I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had for anything. I may be wandering, but I'm sure as hell not lost.
I disagree, but only slightly. To play devil's advocate, the argument could be made that there needs to be a balance of practicality to following your passions. Sure, doing what you love and traveling the world is what everyone wants to do - but IMHO the reality is that the bitterness of practicality is vital to truly appreciate the sweet things of life.
I definitely understand what you're saying. I wasn't as clear as I could have been. In the long term, I'll settle and plan everything out meticulously and build a life instead of just experiencing one. In the present, I'm just trying anything and everything, just because I can. I'm not saying that had I followed a standard path I would have been unable to do some of the things I've done, but it would have been necessary to divide my attention. But as you said, you need the bad to appreciate the good. I used to just lounge around for days and not get anything done. Now with a steady job, my free time is much more enjoyable. Balance is the key to everything.
If I'm being honest, I might be too practical at this point in my life. I'm in my early to mid 20s. Just finished undergrad. I had friends in high school who took two weeks and backpacked through Europe. Friends in college who studied abroad. Really wanted to do those things...but never had the funds. I guess I'm trying to set myself up now to be successful so that I might enjoy these things later on my own time. But the future will never be the present.
I was the practical one and now I'm the one that is able to travel. I am going to Scotland in March and we are planning a trip to Germany in 2013 too. I'm sure that backpacking would have been sweet, but europe's not going anywhere. Nothing wrong with being practical. Just enjoy the journey no matter what point of life you're at. It's the journey.I had friends in high school who took two weeks and backpacked through Europe. Friends in college who studied abroad. Really wanted to do those things...but never had the funds.
My two best friends backpacked all summer in europe after we graduated HS. I was supposed to join them but my parents couldn't afford it. I tried to save the money, but that's a lot of scratch for a kid to come up with.
That's my hope too. My family is originally Sicilian, but I've never even been across the Atlantic. Would love to do some traveling one day, but not necessarily just Europe. I read a book years ago called Shantaraam by Gregory David Roberts, and ever since it's made me want to experience Mumbai.I was the practical one and now I'm the one that is able to travel.
Make it happen. Mumbai seems like such a fascinating place. Reminds me of Vegas on steroids.
Sounds like we're on opposing sides of the spectrum, because I could use a bit more practicality in my own life. Haha. My only advice would be to just never lose sight of the things you want to accomplish. Put them off for too long, and before you know it, it will end up being too late. I've seen it happen way too many times.
I get a lot of talk from friends and family that I am too happy go lucky and that I don't plan or take charge of my future enough. But the truth is that I prefer not to worry too much about something that is not within my immediate 3 to 6 month future. I also like that Tolkien quote because to me it means that I can sometimes play a passive passenger role in my life but still head in an intended direction.
This is one of my favorite quotes for pretty much the same reason. In high school, everyone had my life planned out for me and the question was always "What college?" instead of "Do you plan on going to college?" It seems like a pathetic thing to complain about, but I value choice and personal experience above most other things. I'm in my mid twenties and kids I used to tutor are off to med school and graduating, but I'm still only 30 credits into college... However, I feel that the experiences and jobs I've gone through -- everything from pizza delivery to tech support for the government to sign flipping have given me an incredible edge. I get every job I walk into just on my ability to sell myself to an interviewer, and I also know that my current major is what I want to do. I'll never have to wonder what-if, and I think that makes all the difference.
Everything my godmother ever said to me, but especially, "I don't believe in treating children like children. I treat children like people." She lived that, and somehow every child who got to know her puffed out his or her chest, took responsibility, and did more than you would expect them to be capable of at their age. She treated me like a person and, as a direct result, I ended up on the board of a nonprofit when I was 15, managing adult volunteers, making budget decisions, organizing fundraisers, and co-chairing multiple committees. I treat my niece like a person, and at 12 she reads science news online, enters international science competitions, conducts behavioral trials with her pet fish using the scientific method, and also manages to be a huge help to my sister with my two-month-old baby nephew. Childhood is a valuable thing and there's no reason to rush through it or make kids into miniature adults, but learning to actually listen to them as people instead of talking down or expecting less because of their age is a really enlightening skill. It's still hard for me and I have to do it consciously. But when I do get it right, the kids I'm around tend to be much more interesting and capable people in my care than when they're with people who treat them like their own image of "nine-year-old," rather than as people.
My dad has told me this for as long as I can remember: "Study hard and the test is easy; study easy and the test is hard." It rings true on so many levels for me.
Yeah it is fitting. It got me through seven years of higher education and I wish I listened to him sooner. Captain Hindsight I guess.
When I was a young girl, I lived with my grandma. She worked in a cooperative factory skiving shoes. She was responsible for putting the little decorative holes in men's wing-tipped dress shoes. I wasn't a pretty girl, and I wasn't popular. One day, I came home from school and my grandma came home from work, and we were both feeling beat-up - she was exhausted from the long hours and hard work, and the rich girls had taunted me all day, called me ugly names. I cried and cried. My grandma made me cocoa and turned the radio up, loud. We danced polkas around the kitchen, and I started feeling better. I have never forgotten the advice she gave me that night: "Don't be beautiful, honey. Be smart."
This is what everyone really needs. Residing childhood advice which applies to adulthood also. Really liked this contribution.
thanks, harryjames My grandma was my hero. She worked hard her entire life and wasn't ashamed of not having money or position. I try to be like her in as many ways as I can.
Two bits of practical advice, mostly from older friends. The first is one I pass down to my younger family members. In your first few years of working, say yes to everything. Say yes to work you find boring, say yes to work that you think is beneath you because of your degree. After a few years you'll have the reputation of someone who'll get things done. That reputation and attitude will do more for your career than any kind of training. Stop thinking about how much money you think you deserve now, because with that attitude by the time you've worked 6-7 years it'll be recognised and your career will accelerate. It's a long 'quote', but it's been true for me and everyone who's followed it that I know. Second one, more relationship based. When you're asking people for relationship advice, most times you're actually asking to hear what you're already thinking. If someone doesn't parrot what's in your head, you'll nod and think "they just don't get what's going on". When you've accepted that, you'll no longer be asking for advice but you'll be using a soundboard. That's what friends are for, but you're the one who needs to make the decision.
I've been told that I'm good at giving advice. Some relate that I'm wise beyond my years and others say that I'm very sharp in picking up how they feel. While I appreciate these sentiments I don't not find myself to be remarkably wise or empathetic. My secret is this: I do a very good job on picking up what it is you'd like to be told and why. What your options are, and how you came to your conclusions. It's not that I completely discount my own opinion in certain matters but when people ask me what I think they are really asking me about themselves, not me. To expand on that last sentence, what most people don't realize about advice is that good advice is not opening up new doors to the listener. They must find the doors themselves (believe me I've tried, people must find them themselves). Giving advice is nudging in them in the direction of the correct door. Sometimes the correct door will open up others, sometimes the correct door is objective. But giving advice is about focusing the mind of the listener. If you can tune into the certain conflict a person is having and identify the options they consider valid then you have all the tools you need to give advice. I would liken it to being a mediator in a conversation between the listener... and themselves. You are granting their inner voices credence and validation, not offering your own. Also, I dig your name ;)
"In the end everything will be okay. If it's not okay, then it's not the end". Maybe my perspective on life allows me to think of this much more philosophically than was initially intended. For me, it implies an "okay" even when the worst - say death - were to happen. The universe, so unapologetically unaffected by my absence, would still experience peace and calmness, as would I, regardless of an afterlife. Even when the worst comes, for me, humanity, earth, etc, calmness and peace will eventually settle.
Plus, after thinking of all the above, any trivial obstacle I may have encountered in my ephemeral lifespan is suddenly insignificant, allowing for a clearer mind and wiser decision on the matter with a MUCH lighter-hearted approach. It works every time.
One of my favourite quotes comes from Mikhail Lermontov's A Hero of Our Time (itself a fantastic book):
The worst you can do is die, and you have to die sometime.
Sometimes it's quite soothing to remember that at some point you'll be dead and all this will be over.
I feel the same, but closer to "In the end, everything shall come to rest." You, I, everyone and everything we know, will end. Nothing we can do to stop that. However, until things end for us, we will continue to live an exist. That's the flip side; it's not over till it's over.
While it may not be very philosophical, this advice has helped me a lot in social interactions. When I was younger I was very shy and introverted and had problems conversing with other people, specifically establishing or maintaining eye contact with the other person. Then I heard or read, probably on the internet somewhere, this advice: When talking to a person one-on-one always look into their right eye. Now when I'm talking to someone I always make the conscious decision to look into their right eye, and for some reason this calms me a bit down and drags me out of my shell making it easier to converse with people.
Interestingly enough, humans have a bias toward the left gaze - that is, looking people in the right eye. Here's a wee paper on the topic:
http://filecloud.io/7c0wqt2s
“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” I've used this as inspiration when performing everyday tasks. It gives me a notion of purpose and intention, even though I might be doing something wholly mundane. When I'm washing the dishes, or lifting bags of groceries and arranging them afterwards in the fridge, rather than focus on how boring and detestable these activities are, I concentrate instead on the benefit that I'm doing other people - most notably, my family - by undertaking them. It makes me feel more useful, and seems to intensify the affection that I feel for other people.
After studying ethics I've realized that you just can't create a logical justification for being a good person. It seems to me though, that this is just about as close as you can come. Pain sucks, that's universal. So, lets minimize that. And past the cold rationality, helping people just makes me happy.
What a great question. Like vince, I would have to credit my grandfather. He quoted Tagore to me at a young age, "I slept and dreamt that life was Joy, I awoke and found that it was duty. I acted and behold, the duty was joy". -I'm not sure that this qualifies as advice, but it has served me well.
This ones for you pal: http://hubski.com/pub?id=49422
This one is long but is also an interesting piece of advice: I had gone a-begging from door to door in the village path, when thy golden chariot appeared in the distance like a gorgeous dream and I wondered who was this King of all kings! My hopes rose high and methought my evil days were at an end, and I stood waiting for alms to be given unasked and for wealth scattered on all sides in the dust. The chariot stopped where I stood. Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile. I felt that the luck of my life had come at last. Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say `What hast thou to give to me?' Ah, what a kingly jest was it to open thy palm to a beggar to beg! I was confused and stood undecided, and then from my wallet I slowly took out the least little grain of corn and gave it to thee. But how great my surprise when at the day's end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a least little gram of gold among the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to give thee my all.
Removing negative people from your social world is one of the most effective ways to enjoy life more.
I wish this advice had been given to me before buying an Xbox 360.
Some great advice from the hubski community when we discussed this last September. I especially liked cgod's advice. Right now I'm thinking the best advice is advice you ask for and want to hear. The worst advice is advice you did not ask for because you have a feeling that the advisor is more interested in giving advice than in really understanding the problem.
A professor of mine in grad school once told me "Don't race for the middle". He was talking more in terms of career, but it definitely relates to life in general. To me, it means to not settle. To always have a pursuit in life and to make that pursuit an exceptional one. To always want better for yourself and your family.
I got this lovely piece of advise from my grandmother. "Don't marry an older man. He'll just die on you".
The quote I used for my senior quote was: Don't confuse the impossible with what hasn't been done yet. Since I read these words, it has helped me be more optimistic.
My dad always told me "If you do it right the first time, you don't have to do it again." when I was a kid. It usually applied to cleaning my room, but I have found it useful later on. I understand the value of failure as a learning experience, but as a musician it's far easier to do it right as soon as possible than to spend hours failing at it.
The best advice I've ever taken to heart came from my mother about listening to friends, or just about any other people - "Never take advice from anyone who hasn't been where you want to go." Since hearing that, it's really changed how I take what people say. The way she explains it is a bit like taking advice about the flu from your car mechanic. It just isn't logical to trust the advice just based on an interpersonal relationship you have with that person. While they may mean the best, that doesn't mean they know what they're talking about.
DON'T PANIC! -- Douglas Adams Bad decisions usually make good stories. -- some guy I used to work with Hands up, chin down. Are the three best pieces of advice I've ever gotten. I would have listed the one you started the post with but you beat me to it. I heard it from a guy that was in the Marines