Got my new camera in the mail yesterday! So I'm back in the filming game :) I feel like I've been getting into a positive groove lately. However, I feel like my boyfriend has been in a funk for more than half a year now, and I don't know how to help. He seems unmotivated and uninspired by the work he's doing. I tried helping create a plan or some structure, but without motivation it just falls flat and I'm just nagging him - so i've given that up. He's good and knowledgeable in his industry. He's the best "helper" a team could have. Always solving problems, pro-actively. I think he needs some kind of change in environnement (anything really) like maybe joining an organisation, a club, school, a part-time work project. Or maybe do anything that makes him feel he's more in control of his life. But he just seems stuck and unhappy and it makes me sad :( Is there anything I can do, or should I just let him figure it out himself?
The best thing you can do is love him unconditionally, support him every way you can, and encourage him when he's doing well. Funks/depression are internally regulated and internally self-sustaining. If he veers in a new direction that strikes you as even a tiny bit positive, encourage it. We can't dig others out of their own holes. All we can do is let them know there's a loving world outside.
Yeah, sounds about right. Whenever I try to help I fear it comes of more as "why haven't you done this yet" than the "let me help you out with this" that I intend. I'll let him figure it out on his own, hopefully he does :) It's mostly being unfulfilled work-wise than anything, so maybe being encouraging of the side-projects will help!
Good call. Because he isn't stupid. He knows he is in a funk. So your offer to help will go through his internal filters and be translated as, "You are a failure, and even I can see this, so you need my help." And he is not where he can hear your help for what it is: A genuine expression of love and support. He will hear it as an attack. I know from experience. This is what ended my first marriage.
I got a canon m6 :) it’s nice because I have the option to get more lenses for it (but the choices are a bit scarce). It films in 60fps, has a screen that flips so I can see muself vlogging and has a mic jack so my sound is gonna be better. It has a whole bunch of physical dials and a touch screen so now I don’t have to click through 500 menus to change some settings (which I’ve really come to appreciate working with a dslr all summer).It’s also way less bulky than a regular dslr. The one problem is that the mic hides the flipped screen, but I think I could buy a shoe and glue it to the side so I can attach it there instead. I haven’t tested it much yet, but I can’t wait to see what it can do! I hope it doesn’t suck it low light.
I like this personality system called the enneagram. Essentially, you find your type and it'll help you understand how you act in times of stress and times of success. By understanding how you act, you can recognize when you're in a low point. It also details why we sink to our low points and the steps each type needs to take to get out of it. When I'm feeling low, it doesn't help to have my wife make a plan because I don't understand how I'm feeling. But when I use a system like the enneagram, I have a better idea of what's going on and can see why certain actions help. It's a neat system.
Whoops, maybe it came off as more dramatic than I intended but I meant mostly work-wise. He's a pretty happy guy when around friends and family. It's mostly a "what am i doing with my work" unhappiness, that he seems to be actively avoiding. He works from home, so he'd ditch it all to go snowboarding instead. Not that it's a bad thing from time to time, but it feels like his productiveness has been on a steady decline. He admits it too, and says he doesn't feel like doing what he's doing. Which is also fine - people change and get tired of certain things - but it feels like the point where some kind of change is needed. The problem is he doesn't know what he wants and just sticks with the slowly declining status quo.
Hey Pubs. I'm just gonna sit down here at the end of the bar, and be in my own head for a bit, ok? Gimme a Bailey's and Coffee in a pint glass. deep breath It's Wednesday, but we had Monday off, so I've been at work for 8 hours yesterday and 3 hours today, and ... holy hell ... I have been in the center of numerous shitstorms of work, non-stop. I'm exhausted. Just taking a breather here in Pubski before I dive back in. Nobody knows I come here, so I'm safe to stop, take a breath, and venture back out into the madness. It's nothing bad. Just work. LOTS of work. And much of it urgent and panic-y because other people failed to deliver to me in a timely manner, despite all my efforts to get them on schedule with the timeline. Meh. Now it falls to me to save the day again. And I will. Lemme just down this last 2 inches of my BaileysCoffee, and I'm out. Thanks, Pubs. You rock.
Work run eat sleep. A musician I follow posted "Routine is a comfort. Comfort is a killer." I completely disagree. My routine allows me to take certain aspects of my life as given. I will have the same dinner tonight as I've had every Wednesday since my last vacation two months ago. I don't think that's hyperbole. My routine is a comfort that allows me to push myself in other ways. When I don't have to think about dinner, when I know it will be nutritious, tasty, and filling I can work on other things. When I know I can run Thursday because I bought groceries Wednesday, I can focus on running faster, further, better. When 98% of my life is sorted out, I'm more able to bust my ass on the other 2%. Basically I realize more and more that the platitudes of musicians are shit. Writing some good songs doesn't give them an insight to life.
I think there's a distinction to be made in regards to how much of an individual's routine is conscious. For example, I try to live religiously by my consciously planned schedule. It's written out on a whiteboard to the side of me right now. But when my discipline fails I fall into a unconscious, unplanned routine of video games, Netflix, and streams. Both are routines, both are comfortable, but the former is productive and challenging whilst the latter is 'killer'.
That's not a routine, that's a bad habit. "Routine is a comfort, comfort is a killer" is just a pompous way of saying "stay hungry" or "stay frosty" or whatever the k00l k1dz are saying these days (I guess six words about routine). Once you realize Dee Snyder said it you cease to see it as profound. If you're on a good psychological and spiritual footing, your unconscious routine is probably great. After all, it could be argued that minimalism and asceticism allow one to focus only on the important stuff because all else has been eliminated. By not having to think about a lot of stuff, you clear your mind and your soul for more important things.
Don't get me wrong, I think the quote as presented is hollow. It's certainly not profound by any stretch. Having thought about it, maybe I'm perceiving things the wrong way around. When I'm playing games or whatever outside of my scheduled downtime, at least once I'll consciously acknowledge that I should be doing something more productive. But the opposite isn't true. I don't sit there thinking "I could be gaming right now" if I overrun my schedule whilst I'm composing or practicing an instrument. And nowadays, I'll rarely fritter away a whole day gaming unless I purposefully give myself the day off. So in that way, the bad habits are actually the conscious behaviours. I guess it's like you say, if you're in a good place psychologically and spiritually, a healthy routine will come naturally to you regardless of whether it's written on a whiteboard or not.
Signed the contract - we'll pick the keys up this Friday! So fucking thrilled that this is working out. There's this rule of thumb that one should try not to spend more than a third of one's net income on rent and utilities. If my predictions are correct, I'll probably end up just under or around that. And I'll be living in the city I want to live, in a near-perfect home, with my best friend, with a shopping mall in walking distance and a commute of just over 40 minutes to a job that makes me happy. Someone pinch me. :) It is a bit sour that all the effort and stress in finding a guarantor was worthless - the owner of the building is also fine with two months' rent as a security. On the bright side: it means our guarantor friend doesn't have to sign anything, which is great. Now there's a whole list of things to buy, to rent and to sign. New coach, vacuum cleaner, printer, insurance, office chair for working at home (Aeronnnn yiss), maybe get myself a center speaker for movies. And then there's the move itself, which is not as easy time-wise as when I was a student. I'm glad I have a decent task manager...
There's a short train ride with just over a mile on one side and just under a mile on the other. (Utrecht, by the way.) Which is perfect for a Boosted Board, were it not that they are expensive enough for me to go over my (arguably low) credit card limit. So I'll probably bike/bus one part and walk the shorter one, or get another bike. Good asphalt bike lanes are everywhere anyway (...which is perfect board surface material. too. A man can dream...).
I was thinking the same. Those things cruise for days, even a slight downhill incline and you're laughing. When I was an undergrad I used to longboard on this awesome length of tarmac: You could easily roll the whole thing with few solid pushes at the start.
It's not just that batteries are nice to keep me going, but I was thinking I much prefer a board that also has a brake. There's a downhill bit with an intersection at the end and I'd feel much safer if I can brake properly for that. Can't hurt to try though.
Brakes are deceptive with longboards. you have to lean into it so it doesn't launch you ass-over-teakettle anyway; far better to just drag a toe. Can't drag a toe? Get off and walk it.
What happened to standing on the kick-tail and just dragging the back of the board, with the front end up in the air? Do cool skatekidz nowadays have other ways to brake? I admit, I was last on a skateboard in a swimming pool in the late 70's or early 80's, but it doesn't seem like the physics would have changed that much....
Skateboard you're thinking of: Skateboard we're talking about: Skateboard you're talking about: Skateboard under discussion: Skateboarding is not a crime. Longboarding is also not a crime, but also serves an entirely different purpose. Covering a distance on a skateboard can be done but isn't the primary purpose. Covering a distance on a longboard is most of the game. Braking on a longboard is a slightly different affair as a lot of the time, you shouldn't. Note that I eat shit a lot. I would eat shit immediately were I to slide out, and I would eat shit promptly were I to ride sidewinders. As such, were I to attempt to imitate this man on the slide out I would eat shit before I got two feet on the board.
Ah. Right. This is my last skateboard: https://www.ebth.com/items/1393334-vintage-makaha-usa-skateboard I never understood the stupid, tiny, noisy wheels. Totally useless for riding. My skateboard was transportation. And in my day, longboards were closer to 5 or 6 feet long, you laid down on them on your back, and bombed hills. Times have apparently changed.
You can buy 5' longboards. They're uncommon. I find the build quality on Kahuna to be lacking. My understanding is that the tiny wheels keep you closer to the ground while also allowing you to turn tight, which is necessary for tricks, which is something longboards don't do, which is why some people put sidewinders on longboards, which requires a lot better balance than I'll ever have. People have been known to do dumb things to get lower.
I've been sentenced to 20 walking hours as punishment for a clerical error in signing out on a weekend pass about a month ago. It basically looked like I tried to blow post, so when I got a call from my CO telling me to make the 2 hour trip back to school after I had discovered the wonders of Hennessy, it turned into a messy situation--but I was able to return safely. Luckily I avoided all mention of drinking and any of the various other regulations I was violating, and just got written up for signing out before receiving an approved pass. It was completely and honestly unintentional, but that doesn't matter. West Point has had walking hours as a traditional way to punish cadets for literal centuries. It involves walking back and forth across Central Area for however many hours you are given, and has had a history of documented events that are hilarious by our standards. Physically, it's whatever. Psychologically, it's torture. Some of the ways the Corps helps out people walking hours is by abusing the regulation that walkers stop and take their parade rifle off their shoulder when a vehicle passes through. Cadets whose friends are walking will hop in a laundry cart and get pushed around in circles yelling "VROOOOOM" until they begin getting chased by leadership, at which point they will get pulled out with a slow "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP" backing up sound, giving the boys a break for a few seconds. For a time you could also march with your buddies for support, which is my guess as to how a Storm Trooper got in the mix. Edit: Walkers aren't allowed to walk beside each other or talk during their hours, so the way they're walking in this video makes me think the whole thing is staged for laughs, also the cadets walking with sabers are seniors, who get the privilege of walking with a shiny butter-knife instead of a wooden log on their shoulder. There are also social clubs within the frequent-walker community, such as the title of Century Man when you walk your 100th hour, at which point you can purchase a Century Man patch and wear it on the inside of your uniform jacket, as a ironic mark of pride. These 20 will put me at a total of 55 with two years to go.. I'm not chasing it, but if it comes, I'll take it. 
We had an ice storm yesterday, and I realized that I do, in fact, have smooth rods. They're just tied up in my acrylic framed printer. I actually have a fair amount of them, so I was able to work off of this design: And thus, the product of yesterday: Currently, it seems to have a build area of ~180x180mm, which is horribly offset (the orange square). The constraint is that moving the smooth rails outwards causes the pulleys for the drive line to collide with the frame. Fixing that is easy, but fixing it in a way that doesn't add a huge amount of volume (and print time) to the corner pieces is still elusive for me. I'm discovering I kinda like doing CAD stuff so long as I'm using OpenSCAD. FreeCAD is easy to use, but I never learned to use it in a way that didn't screw you over if you needed to go back and change something you did at the beginning.
This is pretty rad. I work in fabrication and love seeing stuff like this. You from last week: What's your use goal? I'm not sure what units you've used, but there's a definitely a visible difference between the Delta printers it looks like you're tooling around with and, say, a 3D45. Not that there's anything wrong with that, especially considering price point - I'm just curious what your usage is.My bet is that most printers are vastly overbuilt in the name of precision that won't really be visible anyways after the sloppy process of spitting out molten plastic.
Thanks! I don't really know what I'm doing. I was thinking of the sort of middle to lower tier builds I see on reprap.org where people are building for hobbiest or home use, and running $15 rolls of PLA through it. Right now, I have a secondhand i3 clone with a cracked acrylic frame, worn out bushings, and zip-tie secured linear rails. Objectively, it is a steaming pile but it works ok. The belt pulleys on it don't even have bearings, they just rotate on a screw. The z axis lead screws wobble all over the place. On the one hand, improving on it should be pretty easy. On the other hand,the thing already is capable of producing reliable interfaces for my camera's lens mount and hood rings. I'm still figuring out the best workflow for designing stuff. I've gravitated to mocking the whole thing up roughly in blender, and then fiddling in openscad until it works like mockup.What's your use goal? I'm not sure what units you've used, but there's a definitely a visible difference between the Delta printers it looks like you're tooling around with and, say, a 3D45. Not that there's anything wrong with that, especially considering price point - I'm just curious what your usage is.
In fact I am at home for exactly 7 more days before venturing out into the cold strange world of Albert-Ludwigs Universität in Freiburg, Baden-Württemberg, DE for a summer semester! (Well, actually, that’s after 10 Days Alone in Berlin, which should be a film title if it isn’t already.) How’s things in the great white north? (Do I have your address? I plan to send many postcards.)
Hey galen - weren't you 14 when we first met? You must be an adult by now. Wow and crossing the big pond for 10 days alone in Berlin. Do you know anyone there? I fled the great white north for a not-long-enough stint in Hurricane Irma's last known address. I planned to send many postcards from down here, but only managed to get one off to _refugee_. A package from her was waiting for me when I got here. Also, a Happy New Year postcard from wasoxygen so I plan to write him back as well. The problem was the presence of OTHER PEOPLE. Even flagamuffin knows how much I need solitude - and none was available. But I'm hoping now to return at the end of April and will send all of hubski postcards, especially if they send some here. Heading to Cuba Friday on a humanitarian mission.
I believe I was 15 when we met, but don't quote me on that. I'll be turning 19 in Germany :) I don't know anyone in Berlin, but after that I'm meeting up with 8 other students and 1 prof from my school for the semester. It's a joint study group thing between the two universities. PM me your FL address and I'll make sure to drop a Postkarte in the mail! Cuba sounds interesting. What's the mission? Or is it super secret?
Same format, without subtitles. Cruising through studying. In the middle of having an exam each week since 2 weeks ago moving forward into the next 2 weeks, at least. Nice to have so much dedicated time to focus on one subject at a time, albeit the month-long grind. Been making good on connecting with more people in 2018. Some for myself, by myself, and even a couple by others. I know my 'work' moving forward has been to make those connections for myself rather than waiting for them to come to me (then question/re-validate thoughts on self-value). So its kinda cool to get that happening on top of my efforts. Part-time work is pretty nice. Having enjoyable co-workers makes all the difference, and I'm learning as I'm going. Unsure how I feel about conituing there upon graduating - partly since I want to take Birthright and squat in the homeland for a hot minute, partly since I likely won't be able make ends meet as it is... hence, get'n the fuck outta dodge to a place I don't have to think about it. It will put a pause on my ability to make a serious job search to continue where I am, but honestly, I'm 22. Fuck it. Biggest problem at the moment is the idea of my housing next year. Comfortable where I am, but graduating in Fall means subletting when I'm out of the country. Not a fan of that idea... because honestly, I'm 22, and I want to be the only one allowed to make mistakes under my name. Recurring thought of late: "Love is unconditional, relationships aren't."
Birds Annie re-joined the flock on Sunday and moved back inside Monday. We thought it was just one bird (Pig, an apt name) pecking her, but it seems that at least a couple others are also guilty. (We brought Pig in when we took Annie out.) She was supposed to go back out again tomorrow with some Vick's on her head to keep the other birds from pecking her, but today when we got home she'd made an absolute mess of her cage and banged her head up again, poor thing. I think a mouse made its way into our basement/walls and the sound of its claws spooked her. So now she's sitting on the arm of the couch and eating bits of dorito out of my hand. (We spoil her when she's inside...) I know she misses her feathered friends, but I don't know if I want to risk her getting pecked up again before her new injuries heal completely... Life Things have felt off for whatever reason lately (probably a combination of stress, too much work, and trying to take care of the people and animals in my life). Today I finally regained my motivation for technical writing, so I'm trying to finish up Yet Another Floating Point Explainer for my students to read. Recently cracked open my Pictures for Sad Children archive and wow, that has just gotten better with age. I hope the author is doing well, wherever they are now... Edit Been thinking about my two project cars out in the barn (well, one project, one accident repair) and wondering when I'll have time to get them moved to the basement and fixed. I especially feel bad for the project car, as its body is in great shape but the previous owner made an absolute mess of the engine. Shame to see it sit and gather dust. Research I have an undergrad student assistant! I have no idea what I'm going to have them work on! I desperately need to take some time to do actual thinking about my work, but I doubt I'll be able to do that this week. It's frustrating to know exactly what I need to do next and to just not have time to do it. I spoke with my advisor about publishing on Arxiv.org and she liked the idea! Hopefully I'll be able to get my paper up there soon so people can finally read it.
Bitters please, in a rocks glass with an ice cube. It would suit my mood. I don't come from means. My fiancee does. Her parents promised us a year ago that they would help her with school costs. It turns out that their support is conditional, and because of religion those conditions are not met. It eats at my parents that they weren't able to help me or my siblings out with school. My fiancee's parents are in the position to really give her a head start, get us on a good financial footing when she graduates, and are choosing not to. Because of religion. So we have to figure out where an extra two grand is going to come from in the next few weeks, likely a shitty loan from an established shitty lender. My brother is doing well physically, he's been moved to inpatient rehab. He keeps saying delusional things though like 'I'll be out of here in a week' when nobody on his care team has said anything to that effect. I worry that he will self-discharge before he is ready, it would be in keeping with his past behavior. This is the longest period of time he has spent in one place in many years. This is the longest period of time he has spent around my parents in a similar amount of time and I KNOW that's eating at him. His 'adoptive family' that raised so much hell when he was first brought in from the wreck is nowhere to be seen or heard from, while my parents, who he abused and bad mouthed for years, haven't left his side except for bodily necessities. I wish I had something more positive to say. I saw my counselor last night for the first time in a long time. He was happy to see me, and so far thinks that my responses to various stressors have been appropriate. He was glad to hear that I had put a note in my medical record that contraindicates benzodiazepine prescription, and that my alcohol consumption has dropped to almost nil. We decided that monthly check-ins would be the way forward, plus I am going to start attending his meditation class again because my own practice has been slipping. Make that a double actually.
It's 70 degrees outside now and tomorrow it'll be snowing. NE is weird. I've started memorizing again, for the first time since I was a kid. I'm relearning the old favorites, starting with Frost. I'm 1500+ pages into the Stormlight Archive. Any fans of Brandon Sanderson lurk around these parts?
Sanderson has a whole world and three (?) separate rounds of massive tomes related to the world he created. So what, half a book? (kidding. sort of) The nice thing is that he writes a lot, but he does not write as if he is paid by the word. No 20 pages describing getting up out of bed in the morning, for example. I grabbed the Mistborn books and plan to start them in a week or so.I'm 1500+ pages into the Stormlight Archive.
I read Elantris and the Mistborn series in high school. I'm not sure what age you are, but I remember Mistborn to be fairly Young Adult. I'd reread it now though, for sure. I love the idea of the Cosmere and the lore surrounding it, good sci-fi. His magic systems are unparalleled.
thanks for mentioning again because i didn't realize he had released the third one
re. memorizing. I'm a big fan. Whether it's a poem by Frost or a song lyric by Kurt Cobain. I don't know how much stuff you've memorized, but how many times a month would you say it comes in handy - that you have a few memorized lines on hand that perfectly fit a situation?
I like to annoy my wife with it :) For example, a snowstorm a little while back prompted a walk through our local greenway. We passed under a tree, covered in snow, and I said the line, "I like to think some boy's been swinging them..." She didn't know to get away, despite the hint, and we both got dowsed in snow as I pulled a branch.
I am STILL messing around with stupid design things for my music. It's a lot of fun actually. I'd like to learn how to animate some of these. I'd also like to come up with a sticker-worthy design that I can print and hand out places. I also ordered a new soldering iron, but for stupid reasons. I got some soldering tips for Christmas, which turn out to be incompatible with my current iron. Should I spend another $10 on correct tips OR spend more on an iron that matches the ones I have? The latter provides a nice excuse to upgrade to a variable temperature controlled one with a digital thermometer.
Tobacco One of the major grocery stores near me pulled a CVS and out of the blue has decided to stop carrying tobacco products. I wonder if this is gonna be a trend. Books kleinbl00, goobster, I got The Earth Abides. I've literally read only the first chapter and I'm afraid to read any more because it was SO GOOD I don't want to be let down by the rest of the book. I might pick up veen's suggested book because it sounds interesting as fuck and I think I'd really like to read some of the accounts in it. I'm also thinking about picking up No Future Without Forgiveness by Desmond Tutu, partially because the guy has been on my mind a lot lately so I might as well read something of his, but more importantly, I kind of get this feeling that there might be something in that book that is relevant to a lot of the feelings and attitudes going on in America right now. Hubski You all rock. It's great to see the LA Meetup went so well.
That's great to hear. I'm three chapters in and honestly, it's still pretty good, but that first chapter was literally so good if that was all I ever read, I'd have been content. It's so well written, unfolding at just the right pace, not too slow like some stories that tend to meander, and not too fast like a lot of the more pulpy comics I read. I don't think I've experienced something this well paced since The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Right now, one chapter in to Earth Abides, you have NO IDEA of the journey you are about to embark upon. I ... no. I can't say that. Well, there's this... nope. Can't say that either. Just read it. I'm about to read it again, just to take the journey again. I expect you will too, so putting off reading it just means you are gonna delay re-reading it even further! :-)
Potential Spoiler I'm only three chapters in but I'm about 80% certain Princess is gonna see an early, untimely demise. Dogs are emotional anchors for men. They give us something to nurture, something to encourage us to live beyond ourselves, they give us something to admire and enjoy and allow us to be bigger than we are. Authors know this and therefore love killing off dogs. Authors are dicks.
I technicallg should go to the doctor because I clearly have a concussion but the thought of spending all that time waiting just to be told that yup, I’m right like last time seems nauseating. That time seems better spent in bed at home. I’ve resolved to take it easy for another week and not make big life choices until I’m feeling better. The hardest part is not loosing it on customers thanks to the added aggression. Classy people hand their money to the cashier, they do not just throw it down on the till. I used to be satisfied getting their change really fast so I could do the same to them and then scanning the next order fast so they get self conscious but I might snap. I know I’ve given a few dirty looks already, they just slip out. Anyways, I can’t drink so it’s back to bed for me.
With less than 12 hours before Irma hit, local and state parks were set up by municipalities to help people make and distribute DIY sandbags. They offered shovels, woven plastic bags, and the dirt. All you had to do was show up, shovel dirt, tie and take bags, leave the shovels for the next chap, and be on your merry way. Found it ironic, at the next dirt pile over, to witness a massive (literal) red-neck, crew cut, leather belt/boot, cross & bar tout'n gent generously helping out an appreciative young black family whose kids were too young to be at home alone. The man was shoveling the the dirt for the (presumably) mother as the kids would tie the bag as best they could, and he'd lug the bags to their car. Before doing his batch and gettin' gone. Maybe things like that are one of the reasons FL a part of the "Deep South." Or just another example of "CSA wasn't racist" thinkin' chaps. Who knows.
arm's healing up alright thank you to thundara for recommending venetian snares to me a long time ago - i finally got around to it, and rossz csillag alatt szuletett is lovely other than that everything is how it is
I was at the kung fu school earlier this evening, and a guy came in that isn't a student. I started talking a little about classes and what-not, but he told me he was more looking for odd jobs. Fair enough, I gave him the number to call (I doubt my teacher's looking for anything, but you never know). Then he started asking about weapons, about how interested he is in swords especially (Ving Tsun has a form involving two shorter blades, but you have to train for a solid decade+ to get there). I said that wasn't really our focus, and that you had to train a long time to get to the weapon forms, and that our focus was generally on empty hands. Then I was told that he lives by the code of the samurai, and that's why he was interested. I suggested he may want to look into kendo. And I mean, fair enough ... I'm very much a big tent kind of person; we're all weird in our own ways. I do worry about the extent that this guy was looking for identity, though. We also get tourists every once in awhile, who will talk to you about martial arts that they've seen for an hour and a half, but have 0 interest in actually training anything. As I made the transition to teaching, my own teacher warned me not to get sucked in, meaning not to sacrifice an hour of my own training time on someone who isn't really interested in actually doing anything. The world of martial arts is a very strange place sometimes.
I can’t start therapy yet since I’m leaving the country in a week (although I’ve looked into student services in Baden-Württemberg and I should be able to get cheap counseling there), so instead I send strings of messages like this to my friends: I think I might be secretly full of regret for not applying to Harvard I think whenever I achieve something (like getting into a great school) I hate it a little bit because it was supposed to fill the void and it’s not, but instead of recognizing that I can’t ever fill the void with accomplishments, I just think “oh okay I need to accomplish something even more impressive” And then also failure is devastating because for a minute it’s like “oh now I might never be happy” Growing up constantly being told how smart and gifted and special I am (and, it was implied, am expected to remain) really fucked me up, I think. I found a new coffee shop, though! Cool staff, not too busy, and a killer cortado. Spent an hour there today working on Tig Notaro's book.I had a dream that I was full of regret for not applying to Harvard
I’ve read somewhere it is best to praise kids for their actions vs their qualities. So you’d praise a kid for being hard working or studious, not smart. It’s crazy how what we think are just nice compliments can put people under tremendous pressure to fulfill your expectations. As a side note, what’s the deal with Cortados? I feel like I haven’t even heard the term until this year, and now it has started popping up in coffee shop menus all around. Has it been gaining popularity or it’s just my imagination?