I can’t start therapy yet since I’m leaving the country in a week (although I’ve looked into student services in Baden-Württemberg and I should be able to get cheap counseling there), so instead I send strings of messages like this to my friends: I think I might be secretly full of regret for not applying to Harvard I think whenever I achieve something (like getting into a great school) I hate it a little bit because it was supposed to fill the void and it’s not, but instead of recognizing that I can’t ever fill the void with accomplishments, I just think “oh okay I need to accomplish something even more impressive” And then also failure is devastating because for a minute it’s like “oh now I might never be happy” Growing up constantly being told how smart and gifted and special I am (and, it was implied, am expected to remain) really fucked me up, I think. I found a new coffee shop, though! Cool staff, not too busy, and a killer cortado. Spent an hour there today working on Tig Notaro's book.I had a dream that I was full of regret for not applying to Harvard
I’ve read somewhere it is best to praise kids for their actions vs their qualities. So you’d praise a kid for being hard working or studious, not smart. It’s crazy how what we think are just nice compliments can put people under tremendous pressure to fulfill your expectations. As a side note, what’s the deal with Cortados? I feel like I haven’t even heard the term until this year, and now it has started popping up in coffee shop menus all around. Has it been gaining popularity or it’s just my imagination?