Really enjoyed both Memory and Desolation. I recommend them whenever I can, it never seems to crop up in peoples lists.
Partner finally caught covid (or, first time she's had symptoms and tested positive). Been playing nurse for the last week as it hit her pretty hard, but I seem to have avoided it. Plonk her by the fire, ply her with soup and meds. She's back at the office tomorrow, we think. I'll have been in my 'new' job for a year come August. Quite surreal to think about, and I'm still reaping the benefits of the minimised stress. Amazing what you'll adapt to without realising, and I absolutely adapted to a shitty environment at the time. The new job has afforded me so much more time to put towards hobbies. I write a lot more, I maintain the garden better, I'm more sociable. I'm just way happier. Very grateful towards the people who nudged me in the new direction. We got snow yesterday and everything froze over today, so I'm WFH this morning and getting the fire going. Cat is purring, partner is stirring. All's well.
Fuck I love chopping wood. It's so cathartic just hammering at some logs. The smell, the gritty feel, the sweat of solid hard work and knowing I've got heating sorted for the remainder of the winter. Sometimes the log is a knotty bastard and I get to wail on it. Excellent workout, and super harsh on my core so I think it's highlighting an area I need to work on. I got out to mow the backyard for the first time since April. It's been so wet, and with our bathroom renovation taking place in the early stages of winter I wasn't keen to get out and cut grass without a proper way to clean up after. My poor mower. She did the job though, and I'm keeping the clippings to use in my next soil build up for planting season. Hoping I've got my veggies dialed in this year. 2x tomato plants, 2x cucumber, 2x chilis in the greenhouse, then potatoes, carrots and peas in the raised beds.
Been reading a bit more lately. - Started The Poppy War Trilogy, by R.F Kuang, but stopped after finishing the second book, didn't feel compelled to read further. - Finished This is how you lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladston. Had a good time with that. Very short. - Finished Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Had a blast with that. - Finished The Will of the Many by James Islington. Had my gripes all throughout, but the end did leave me wanting to know more. So I'll get the sequel when it emerges. - Finished The Book that Wouldn't Burn and The Book that Broke the World both by Mark Lawrence. I had initially sworn off Mark Lawrence's stuff after struggling through one of his early, edgy books. But these were fun. They didn't go in the direction I was expecting, at points, but good fun. Will be keen to read the final one when it's ready. - Finished The Fisherman by John Langan. Was in need of a horror, and I think that fit the bill. - Finished The Three Body Problem but haven't gotten to the rest of the series. - Finished The Faithful and the Fallen series by John Gwynne. It was cool, I can get invested pretty easily into things but it definitely had some issues. I think it was clear that was his debut series, he's gotten noticeably tighter with his stories since. - Finished The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, as a part of the book club I'm in. Was cool. Historical Fiction isn't usually my jam but that's the joy of the book club! Throwing stuff my way I'd not normally delve into. - Re-read Downunder by Bill Bryson. It's just really funny and entertaining, felt like dipping back into it. Currently reading The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman. I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm 80 pages in and I've laughed out loud, but also felt compelled to skip entire sections because they're just aggressive lore-dumps, jammed into an already set scene. I'll see if this continues, if it does, I might stop while I'm ahead. My friend got me onto the Dungeon Crawler Carl series, so might give those a hoon at some point.
The burdened tree reminded me.. In NZ we have this wood-pigeon, the kererū. They're hefty lil guys. And they love to roost in the kōwhai tree. We had a kōwhai in our backyard, prior to buying our current house. One spring, I watched as one bird sat on a thin branch, extending from the otherwise sturdy trunk. Then another bird sat on it. The branch began to dip. Then a third bird joined in, and it dipped further. I didn't move away from my spot as it was in clear view of the tree and I was worried I'd chase them away, so I stayed very still and didn't try to find my phone. A fourth bird hopped on the branch, and at this point it was inching towards a 45 degree adjustement downwards, then, I moved to scratch my nose. Two of the birds took flight, and the change in weight flung the branch up, dislodging the other two in a flurry of feathers. Laughed so damn hard. They're delightful birds who sometimes eat fermented berries, get drunk and topple out of trees, but these guys didn't need any booze for this.
I had wondered if you'd be able to snap any photos at Uluru. Pity you couldn't, but understandable - I'm glad you got to visit though!! I'm gonna need to check out that new sci-fi trilogy. Didn't know they had one underway.
Tis the heart of winter in NZ, and even more wintry in dreary Dunedin. Icy footpaths, fire crackling at night, rugging up everywhere you go and my glasses steam up whenever I enter a cafe. Went to a 'drone light show' last week, and I swear most of the fuckin' town turned up. The organisers learned a lesson in event infrastructure at least. Four toilets, four, for thousands of people. The food trucks were all arranged next to each other, so every line for one truck became the line for another. They'll know for next time. The show was cool though. Perfect night for it, and there were exactly 201 drones operating the show. This number was chosen, apparently, because the previous NZ record for such a show was 200 drones. So uhh, suck it, those guys. They floated in towards us in a swarm, then organised themselves into gently rotating shapes of native birds/animals. Many "oohs" and "aahs". One kid screamed "It's a Kiwi!" when, in fact, it was an eel. Got tickets to go see Hozier this November. Big fan of him. Not a big fan of concerts, but I'll brave it for my partner. Hope you're all well.
Uluru is somewhere I absolutely want to visit at some point. I hope you have a blast.
Christmas was a quiet one. Usually, about 40 of my extended family descend on one person's home for the day. This time our family was fractured across a couple of countries, so I spent it with my brother and Boxing Day with my partner's family. Felt weird not being surrounded by the cacophony that is my family, but I did crush some excellent naps over the break. I have four tomato plants growing in my greenhouse, combined with the cucumbers and the mystery plant that turned out to be pumpkin, it's a mini rainforest. However, one tomato plant has blossom end rot, apparently a problem caused by a calcium issue, but the true catalyst is infrequent/too frequent watering. The other plants are producing like mad, and they all get watered at the same time, so unsure what my approach is here. They're fussy plants these. Good lessons for the future though, this is the first of many attempts. Strange update. Once upon a time I played a lot of Battlefield V, across two accounts, probably about 1000 hours in it. Enough to be a menace. Back in the day I was in a 'clan' and we'd typically just have a bit of fun in a server, if we ever started to dominate a match we'd split ourselves up to make things even. Since Battlefield 2042 came out, most of us have stopped playing, because it was hot trash and it burned our love of the game. Now we hear that the BF V servers are popular again, and there's a new clan running the roost. Allegedly they're talking shit about us and other old clans, so we've been summoned, to come back for a shitfight. Is it stupidly childish? Yes. Could we ignore it? Entirely. Am I reinstalled and testing my aim? You bet. This weekend the battle begins, the glorious old guard BDSL (Basement Dwelling Sweat Lords) vs the whiny upstarts EZPZ. Oh! So turns out my partner loves, and I mean fuckin' looooves, The Great British Bake Off. It's surprisingly hard to track down, legally or not. Most streaming services don't have it in NZ, and those that do, have like a season at best. I didn't know she adored this show, and apparently she had been trying her best to solve this access issue, on and off, for the better part of two years (we have been together for almost seven..). She finally told me this week, about her deepest desire. I checked which Netflix region had the show (USA does!), flicked my VPN on in our NVidia Shield, changed to USA, and restarted Netflix. Great British Baking Show was the first thing that appeared as a suggestion and my partner lost. Her. Shit. She was wriggling, actually wriggling. I asked, once she had stopped writhing on the couch, why she never told me about this before? Took all of five minutes to rectify. She didn't want to bother me with it, apparently. Which sucks, cause she can bother me with anything and I'll take it off her plate. The new job environment is still paying dividends it seems, my partner feels comfortable coming to me with things she thinks are inane. Reading a book next to her on the couch, cat in her lap, as she critically judges ganache application on the screen filled me with an awful lot of joy.
I came across this article yesterday after hearing that the CEO mentioned has officially resigned. I don't know any of the people, but the words "toxic culture" will always have me interested. Reading through it I had to stop, send it to my colleague and ask "Is this what we dealt with?" regarding our former manager. Examples: “That’s a typical example of behaviours of, say one thing, formally write down another,” he said. Yep. “She’d say, ‘I want you to do A, B and C, please’. And so you do it, then the next week she’d go, ‘No, no, no. I ask for D, E and F’.” Oh yep. It's like I was there. In my previous role, we had to manage up to such an extent we'd convince our manager that any idea was hers. We'd plant the right seeds at the right time so she'd come to the same conclusion we came to months earlier, and only then she'd allow something to happen. Fuck, we became some manipulative people. Turning up 20 minutes early to meetings, to plan how to approach the entire conversation - and it was just a weekly check-in! She finished up last week, I got invited to the leaving drinks and it'd be weirder to not turn up. So I was there with my former colleagues and I could see the tension start to ease as she made her farewell speech; knowing she'd not be back in the office the next day. Anyway they're picking up the pieces and seeing if people are willing to return. People like myself. But I can't. I enjoy my new job too much and also fuck that noise - not even for the money they'd offer. Eyes forward and all that. I finally got a copy of House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. Looking forward to tucking into it."One senior leader described having a meeting with George, where they made crucial decisions about an upcoming project, only to be sent an email summary 30 minutes later that wasn’t representative of the things the pair had agreed upon.
Another person said they experienced similar confusing behaviour.
Another person spoke about having “meetings before meetings” to figure out “how to not get attacked” or to get something over the line.
My partner and I polished off the Red Rising series (Book #7 still to come). They're not literary masterpieces but it was a very entertaining time, they're accessible page turners. My partner is more discerning than I am, about what she reads, so I wasn't expecting her to give it a go. However one day she began the series herself, while I was reading book #4. Then, because she reads so much faster than I do, she read the first three before I finished #4, then stole book #4 from my bedside table. She read it, returned it, and carried on with the series. I've just started House of Leaves which is uhhh a tonal shift.
I got through to book #4 and stopped, I'm not entirely sure why. I was enjoying the story! Maybe I'll revisit soon.. I really enjoyed the show, which hopefully doesn't skew the rest of the books for me, if I do return.
Strangely, I don't think I ever saw this response when you first posted it. Apologies for that. Everything you've said makes sense!
Slowly trying to learn Python. It's fun when I get to implement things in little beginner projects, but the content is pretty dry. Tomatoes are going red, very exciting. Two plants are still going hard, the other two are consistently producing messy/split tomatoes, so I'm considering just cutting my losses and focusing on the two that are succeeding and chalking this up as a lesson in trying too many different kinds at once. Tuh'may'ters. Next up on my piano-relearning-adventure, Sea Power's ZA/UM. My most played song from 2023. Hope you're all doing well.
I love these posts Lil! I'll answer them all because they're good questions and I'm greedy. My parents treatment of my brother. He has a bleeding disorder that should probably have claimed his life over the years. A combination of the NZ healthcare system and my parents ensured he's still here today, 35 years young. I grew up the middle child, and with my older brother constantly hospitalised, my sister and I were effectively raised by nannies/carers, I'm not going to claim there wasn't any childhood resentment, but I learned quickly that this was an example I could aspire to. To just look after people. The healthcare system never charged us much, for any of the visits, surgeries, medication (maybe a $5 co-payment for prescriptions?). It was covered by the tax payer, and so I'm happy seeing my tax going towards people who need it. My parents did all they could, and they told me years down the line they felt more comfortable than they expected, focusing on their oldest child - because for whatever reason my sister and I accepted the need for this hierarchy of attention. The odd fight and tantrum, but for the most part we knew he needed more than we did. I like to think that's carried on. I'm doing well, comparatively, so when other people need and get something I don't, I'd rather give than take. Now more than ever. My partner reads me the best - I couldn't tell you what page she's on but I can tell you she's writing the rest of the story with me. That we are as dysfunctional as any other. To enjoy the little things. A previous relationship had me seeking every major thing in life, she wanted to chase big things and I had to want them as well. It burnt us both out, and my current relationship we call a solid afternoon of gardening together a good outing. This one is hard. I need to consider it more! Absolutely. Tiny things people have done that irked me over the years. Sometimes at night when I struggle to sleep, my brain helpfully cycles through these small encounters until I'm angry again. I will be working on letting go of things. Clinging to them does me a disservice and grants them too much time in my head. I doubt they've ever thought of me again! Can I develop the courage to send any of my writing pieces off to an agent? Will my current vegetables be a bumper crop? Equal importance, now that I have them side by side.. Leaving my depressing and stressful office management job, to enter an IT realm where I feel 100x better about myself and my work. Oooh too many. I don't focus on it though. They're just different iterations of me. But I'm the one that's here and now, and I like it. I once held quite nasty thoughts about the queer community in general. I've long since changed from that, but I don't forget that I was once an absolute shithead for zero reason. I consider myself a staunch ally, and thanks to the behaviour of the past I know what crap to call out when I see it. Just here for the ride. To enjoy what I can, with whoever I can, and hopefully leave a small segment of the world better for having me in it. When we add to each other. I don't think a relationship will ever be equal in a percentage sense, because we're never at exactly the same levels. But her success is my success, and vice versa.1. Think of something about (the place where you grew up; your family; your school) that gave you your sense of the world and your place in it?
2. Are you an open book? If so who’s your best reader. If there’s 100 pages, what page are they on?
3. What have you learned recently about your family that wasn’t the story you told yourself?
4. What important lesson did an earlier romantic relationship teach you that helps you in your current marriage?
5. What is one thing you remember from all your changes in the last 10 years that made you feel vulnerable (beyond your comfort zone) or felt a little challenging.
6. Are you carrying any resentment that you could let go of if you thought about it. Would it be a benefit?
7. What are some questions you have about your life now that you’d like answered in the next year.
8. What is an experience of success that you still feel good about?
9. What is your road not taken?
10. What idea or attitude did you once believe that you later discovered was false?
11. When you realize that everything is made up -all religions, nations, patriarchy, democracy, etc are ideas made up by people, what then do you believe?
12. What does an equal relationship mean to you?
Three weeks into my role in IT, having finally left office management. It's amazing. The people are friendly, the work is interesting, and I'm so used to a stupidly hectic workload that what they're asking of me is quite doable, even as I'm learning the ropes. Plus there's actual clarity around the role. I have a portfolio of things to take care of, tickets come in when the helpdesk can't solve it, and away I go. I'm even working from home today, which wasn't ever really an option before. Is.. Is this, room to breathe? What a concept.
So, turns out my employment woes were noticed by a few people within the organisation. I'm now at the reference check stages for a job that had a timeline like this: Day 1: I see an IT job posting on our internal network. It pays more and is more complicated than the role I interviewed, but didn't make the cut, for a few weeks back. I ignore it. Day 3: I get a message from the University's recruitment team. "Hey did you see this role? I think you should apply for it". I explained my reticence, in that if I wasn't up to snuff for a lower paid job I can't see myself getting any further for something higher up. She replied "Please apply for it. It suits your skillset." I said I'd think about it. She replied "I've already told the panel." Day 4: I apply Day 5: The recruitment lady thanks me, and asks me to hold tight. Day 14: The advert closes, I get a notification that it's closed. 5 minutes later, the recruitment lady calls me "Right interview time, when suits?" Day 17: I have the interview. I think it goes well? I did some research, found the IT roadmap and talked about their past hurdles, plan for the future and what I would do to try and see that plan become a reality. Talked about soft skills, translating requirements and all that jazz. They seem to like me, but are a group of true-blue IT nerds, and I'm an extroverted hobbyist so I temper myself in the interview. They don't need 100% Foveaux. Nobody needs that. Day 18: I put it out of my mind, certain that the recruitment lady was just doing me a favour because I was this close to getting the other role, but was pipped (out of 44 applicants) by someone who had the right degree. She calls me. "Reference check time! Who you got?" I offer up: The Dean, the head of IT for the Uni and my boss. I note that she specifically mentions I don't need to have my current boss as "we understand it might be detrimental". I offer my boss' details anyway. Don't want to rock that boat. Currently, Day 19: My references are received, all glowing (even my boss). I get a call from the head of operations wanting me to do an exit interview. I said "I'm... I'm not leaving? Am I leaving?". She panics, because the organisation is going through a lengthy and draining voluntary redundancy process, which will be followed by involuntary redundancies. She follows with "No! No you're not. I heard you.. Might.. have an offer coming your way? Actually ignore me. Sorry. Lets revisit next week!" So here I am wondering wtf is going on. I call my colleague, who explains it all. Day -3: My colleague resigns very suddenly. Sudden for others, not for me. I helped her prep for her interviews and write her resignation letter to be juuuust diplomatically scathing enough, without burning bridges. Turns out, after HR received the resignation, they kicked into overdrive trying to keep her. With the redundancies and restructures, morale is at an all time low and good staff are running away. They need people like her. She's really, really good. She explains her reasoning for leaving (our narcissistic boss, the structure, no direction). They ask her to give them time to find a new role for her, elsewhere. She offers "Foveaux has one foot out the door too, by the way. He's the last of us, and the only one who was here before the restructure of 2018." and HR said "Leave it to us." So it looks like our employers are pulling out all stops to keep us under their wings. My colleague just got offered a project management role after a coffee with the project lead, and I appear to have been politely strong-armed into applying for an IT role I thought I had no chance in, and they seem to be taking me very seriously. Surreal. I guess I'll know by next Pubski?
TOMATOES ARE GROWING. Little green fellas just hanging out. Am proud. Joining my 3rd DnD campaign this Sunday. A friend had been running a small group through over the course of the year. It was strictly in person, and they're all in Australia. But with the DM moving cities, they opted to go online. Once online, the DM invited me to join. I get to dust off an old character, very excited.
It happened - I finally got Covid. Aches, shakes, brain fog, coughing and spluttering. By all accounts it was a very mild case. I see how it wrecked the more unlucky people. Two days of flu-like symptoms, a further seven days of congestion. Back at work now, it passed quickly once the peak was hit - but the brain fog remains. As well as the running out of energy immediately. Weightlifting 4-5 times a week? Oh no no, now you struggle to get the rubbish bins in. It's coming right though. Plus side, my employer has Covid leave baked into the system, everyone is allowed up to 10 days a year before dipping into your sick or annual leave. It's certainly nice to have it up my sleeve. It's two weeks out from the NZ election and this year has been one of the more tiresome campaigns. Lots of shit people lying to everyone. I'm gonna cast my vote as progressively as I can and hope enough people feel the same. I suspect we will have a shift in government though, from 'left' to 'right'. It won't impact me directly, not a huge amount, but the people that I'm trying to protect with my vote will be all the more vulnerable.
As possibly the only resident powerlifter here.. I say "Yes let them lift", with a sprinkle of "It's tricky". When it comes to team/contact sports, I understand (on paper) the need for division. Rugby: When I was in high school, the girls 1st XV (18 years old) challenged the boys 1st XV to a friendly match. The girls team were back to back regional champs, and had competed in the national comp, narrowly losing the final. They were extremely good, and a number of them have since gone on to play professionally. The teachers and coaches of both teams, said "No". So the girls challenged the 2nd XV (still 18 years, but less good) and again, were told "No." They made their way down to the Under 15s side (14/15 years old) and they were met with a reluctant "Allright". Come match day, what would have been a 70 minute game of two 35 minute halves, was called off at half time as the boys side racked up 50 points and battered their opponents. It wasn't even close to a competition, and the boys side was reluctant throughout, opting to just attack the gaps and avoid contact as much as possible. Now, as the women's game has grown into a full-fledged professional setup here in New Zealand, we're now seeing phenomenal athletes get the air-time, money and fame they deserve. You couldn't fuckin' pay me to get in front of Portia Woodman. But splitting the genders in a high contact sport makes sense, cause Portia Woodman would get demoed in the men's game, and Portia Woodman is a terrifying powerhouse. The only question I think worth asking around this in team/contact sports is, "Is anyone going to get hurt by this?". Be it a trans woman playing with women or a trans man playing against men. I will note I never see the latter of these situations making headlines. Nobody seems worried if a small trans dude wants to kick it with his brethren. It's always the trans women wanting to play with her sisters that gets people out of sorts. We certainly aren't seeing a sudden influx of men transitioning to women to play high level rugby with high level athletes bodies. So even then, my only question isn't likely ever going to be asked. Not in good faith, anyway. But with powerlifting, the old adage is that you're really only competing with yourself. There's no contact. It's just you, the bar and the weights. Do the job right, you get the three white lights. Do the job really right, you get to take home a trophy or a record. Nobody is getting physically hurt by another competitor. While I can understand the fear of the scenario, where a young powerlifting prodigy in the women's grade is outshone by a trans woman who is simply stronger and nobody can compete with them, as far as I know it hasn't happened. Janae Maree Kroc stopped competitve lifting once she begun hormone therapy to aid her transition, and she's about the only person I can think of who could have fit the 'scenario'. Jaycee Cooper, from the article, has a decidely unremarkable powerlifting record. And I use the word unremarkable to support her in her ventures. She didn't transition to sneak in a world record. In the 2022 comp, she successfully lifted: Squat: 150kg Bench: 97.5kg (failed 102.5kg) Deadlift: 155kg She, and everyone else, were eclipsed by Amanda Lawrence. Who, in the same weight class as Jaycee, lifted: Squat: 242.5kg Bench: 130kg Deadlift: 252kg You have to drop down weight classes to about the 60kg range, before finding people that Jaycee would be on par with in the competition, and even then it's only on bench. That could be a holdover from her body having more testosterone pre-transition? But it's not my business. All I know is that typically, men have noticeably stronger upper bodies. Case in point, I can bench more than Amanda Lawrence. No fucking way I can squat or deadlift more than her, and she's about 10kg lighter than I am. Sorry that's a lot of waffle, it's something I get asked about at work as these conversations come up, and I've been in that powerlifting community for the better part of a decade. A longwinded way of saying I'm with kb and say "Let them lift". Jaycee was never going to set records, and it was never about that. She just wants to compete and be valid.
Trudging back through things I've saved/shared, this still resonates. I'm not saying I'll get "Worldbuilding is the quintessential "writing about writing" masturbatory fling" tattooed on my forehead, but... It sings to me nonetheless. Epsecially when I'm putting off a chapter in favour of just fleshing things out. Things that don't need fleshing. At all.
Shit you not, in my previous job I heard this was happening (via a colleague who uses TikTok) and in the next recruitment run I checked some of the documents loaded up in applications, to see if anyone had snuck white font text in. Of 30 applications, 3 had. Using words that could be found in our job descriptions. Just tucked away in between paragraphs and in page breaks. We don't use AI in our recruitment so it may as well not have been there but, interesting to spot once you start to look for it. We knew people were using AI to write cover letters, and it was fairly obvious when the letter was a little too immaculate and had absolutely zero personality. White font though, that was a new one.
Gardening! Tomatoes! (growing very nicely) Cucumbers (they snuck up, I didn't see these until yesterday, very well hidden) Chillies! (this is very new, still got the flower at the end but I was excited) So I will have a bountiful harvest, and likely more than I will be able to eat, so friends and family will have impromptu salads and veggies forced upon them.
I've finally worked up the courage to share some of my writing projects with impartial readers, for some constructive feedback. It's been great. The constructive feedback is on point and highlighting things I just hadn't thought about, or noticed, or thought was working but evidently wasn't. I'm really grateful for it. Already edited things in/out/shuffling around. The positive feedback has also been lovely to receive (as it would be). One reader assumed I was a woman because of the relatable way I was portraying the female MC in the story, then was pleasantly surprised to discover I'm a dude. Dialogue getting some good praise, realistic interpretations of how people might react to things, world feels connected and sense of both scale and time passing has been captured. Overall, it's viewed as a fun read, and each time the person provided feedback they asked for more to read over. Another project I got feedback on was a series of short horror/sci-fi stories that I was hoping build a little anthology out of. So far each person has said "Would love to see this a full blown adventure" which I was hoping to hear. I wanted to write some interesting tidbits and capture enough of someone's imagination or interest that they'd like to see more of it, and more fleshed out. Feels good. Onwards.
People around me are catching Covid for the 2nd or 3rd time, and I still remain (apparently) untouched. I am thinking by now I have had it, and I was a lucky sod who remained asymptomatic. Not so lucky for anyone around me. My partner has had time for her ADHD medication to kick in, and holy shit what a difference. Normally I cook, clean, take care of the laundry and chores - and she will do her absolute best to help out around the house. 90% of the time though, it falls to me. However! This weekend just gone, she sorted out our entire linen closet, repotted all of our (her) succulent plants, took an entire carload of old clothes away to be donated, took our cat to the vet, vacuumed the house, hung up paintings she's had for two years but never done anything with, conditioned our leather couch and went to the farmers market to get some veggies for this weeks meals. She even found time to visit an op-shop, and came back with an untouched herringbone blazer that fits me perfectly, and would have sold for about $250. She got it for $10. Overall, she's beating me to chores around the house, which has never happened in our years together. I am careful not to focus on the medication doing it's thing, and trying instead to see it as a launch pad for her. She's quick to say "Wow these meds are awesome" but she's still doing the things. She wanted to do them all along, she just now has the executive function to back up her plans. I'm confident the diagnosis was a key part of her shift towards productivity - the validation she felt when a therapist said "Yes. This all makes sense. You have all the markers of ADHD. This isn't being faked and I have a plan to combat this". She has started the conversation that I was dreading though. The one that began, "You've put up with me like this for 6 years. Why? Why would you do that to yourself?" I love her. She's hilarious, compassionate and charismatic. She's fuckin' weird and has that delightful, British dry wit. She encourages me with my hobbies and calls me on my bullshit when I get a bit fiery and am absolutely not looking at a scenario objectively. I'd be a far worse person without her, so.. I can hardly call it "putting up" with her. Her birthday is next week, taking her out for dinner and a nighttime walk on the beach. Happy times. Update: I just got home from work and she has been busy. There is a small plastic guillotine (of the paper slicing variety) on the kitchen table. Me: What's that? Her: A tiny guillotine M: Ooo for crafts? H: For beheading tiny revolutionaries M:.... H: And crafts.
My partner got a promotion - she's practically a new person. Doing something she enjoys, getting more money, she works later hours so she gets more time to do things around the house (the fact that I do most of the cooking/cleaning has bugged her for years). Win-win-win. My employer has announced a round of voluntary redundancies. I prepared an application and ran it past my boss, just to see what they might pay me to close off my job. It was immediately declined, so I guess I'm sticking around until the involuntary redundancies (which have also been announced, just for a later date) come around. I've got an interview next week. The trouble with being a shitty employer in what is effectively a "corporate town" where everyone is employed by that company; when you announce layoffs? Everyone slows down. Everyone pulls back. Productivity has plummeted and trust has been destroyed. You can't hire new people to fill critical gaps, because everyone knows this massive organization is up shit creek and nobody wants to hitch their star to that particular wagon. My fellow managers? We were a team of 6, but we've been 4 since January, and still no replacements on the horizon. We have approval to recruit, but nobody wants the job for the salary we offer and be under the cloud of uncertainty. "Take a paycut and maybe get fired within the next 12 months? Kindly fuck off". So we all pick up the slack, burn out faster, and we leave a slightly larger pile of crap for whomever remains. Yay. Not all doom and gloom though, hobbies are continuing to be fulfilling. Writing, piano, gardening, stupid but hilarious youtube series. Our new cat is settling in nicely (her name is Penny), though she's a much more "charged" creature than the previous critter. The demure, fastidious and sadly deceased, Elvis. Penny is a riot. Everything she does, she hauls ass. Off to eat? 100km/h. Receiving pats? Not fast enough, let her help expedite the process by headbutting your hand. Need to clean? You best believe she's full force. An absolute wrecking ball. She now answers to Eggs Penedict, Lumpy Space Penny, Penelope Pants and of course, Gremlin From The Void. She got the last one after she halloween-catted down the hallway towards me one night. It was fucking horrifying to see the eyes glaring, then the arched shaped scuttling towards my ankles. She just wanted some love. But she doesn't receive love, she takes it. You will know about the transaction.
Reading Iron Gold I found myself struggling to get through it. There was a timeskip and a sudden shift to multiple POVs. Both aspects surprised me and I found myself trudging through it a little bit. It was hard to suddenly care about these strangers after having one POV the entire time. However about 1/3 of the way through it clicked and I was on board again, as things began to coalesce. The next two books I didn't have any issues with and devoured them greedily. Especially as later on you get the POV of a character whose head I always wanted to get inside of. I also felt Morningstar finished in such a way that had nothing else been written after, I'd have been happy. That said I'm very glad I got past my initial reluctance in fourth book, it was well worth it and I'm hanging out for the final book now!
That would make sense. I don't recall a resounding "Ugh" when finishing that particular book, but I must not have been as invested as I was at the start.
That's wonderful you have something from her. I know exactly what you mean about the smell. When I lift the piano lid it still has that same smell of grandma and grandads house. I don't know how long that will remain but so far so good. If you find the time to keep playing it, I hope it brings you some joy! I am relearning the piano! I played when I was a teen, did grading to a point but couldn't tell you how far along I got. I stopped during high school, to focus on rugby (and I have no doubt, was worried playing an instrument wasn't manly. Stupid stuff). I have a book now essentially called 'relearning the piano for dummies.' for people who have the muscle memory but sheet music to them, is hieroglyphs. Working through it bit by bit! It's going well and I'm forever grateful that I inherited it, and that I got to spend the time I did with grandad. Growing up he was just that, grandad. But as I got older I realised all the things he'd done over the years. I found a wonderful write up that goes over everything though that would probably dox myself in some way - if I were to post it here. But the list involves two scholarships as a teacher, to travel the world and learn about other countries best teaching practice, working with handicapped students, running the local meals on wheels and reading to the blind as a part of his volunteering, helping to kick start a govt funded sex/health education program that is still in operation up and down the country, coaching sport, teaching music, playing in orchestras (and conducting smaller events) and amongst all of that, just being grandad. The write up even covers his gardening talents. The man practically willed tomatoes into existence. I need to do more. That's the conclusion I've come to.
New Zealand article of the week: Waiheke's Surfdale Sausager Personally, I'd have called him the Waiheke Snag-Slinger. Anyway some bored person has been leaving sausages in people's mailboxes for a while now. This is kinda funny because Waiheke Island is a notoriously rich-person place and picturing wealthy indivuduals fucking perplexed at finding sausages everywhere just tickles me. At the end of the article though... The Mad Butcher, a dude who has made his living of sausages, is on the island and yet to be targeted. Surely he's the prime suspect. Surely he'd stuff a snag in his mailbox just to throw off the scent. Anyway. I got a suspiciously hefty pay this week, about $600 more than I normally get. I queried with Payroll, because some of it has already gone to my student loan and if it's an error I don't want to be left holding the bag of responsibility. Turns out with the pay increase I was meant to be backdated from last year. I thought it had happened. They said it hadn't so.. Thanks! I put some of the money towards Dramfest - a whiskey festival happening in March this year. Gonna drive up with some friends, sample whisky for two days. Might eat some food too, who knows? Oh. I think I've finished one of my writing projects. Start to finish, it's completed as of last night. About 90,000 words, started around October when I was absolutely stuck in the middle of another project. I wanted a distraction and never stopped. Funny, the previous project was stuck at 90k words as well, but it had taken me almost a year to get there. I knocked out the same amount, and a complete story no less, in half the time. Will it be shit? Fuckin' probably, but I've had so much fun doing it and now I just want to write other stories. Onwards.The Mad Butcher - Sir Peter Leitch, who is a Waiheke resident - says he has never heard of the incidents and has yet to be targeted himself.