As possibly the only resident powerlifter here.. I say "Yes let them lift", with a sprinkle of "It's tricky". When it comes to team/contact sports, I understand (on paper) the need for division. Rugby: When I was in high school, the girls 1st XV (18 years old) challenged the boys 1st XV to a friendly match. The girls team were back to back regional champs, and had competed in the national comp, narrowly losing the final. They were extremely good, and a number of them have since gone on to play professionally. The teachers and coaches of both teams, said "No". So the girls challenged the 2nd XV (still 18 years, but less good) and again, were told "No."

They made their way down to the Under 15s side (14/15 years old) and they were met with a reluctant "Allright". Come match day, what would have been a 70 minute game of two 35 minute halves, was called off at half time as the boys side racked up 50 points and battered their opponents. It wasn't even close to a competition, and the boys side was reluctant throughout, opting to just attack the gaps and avoid contact as much as possible. Now, as the women's game has grown into a full-fledged professional setup here in New Zealand, we're now seeing phenomenal athletes get the air-time, money and fame they deserve. You couldn't fuckin' pay me to get in front of Portia Woodman. But splitting the genders in a high contact sport makes sense, cause Portia Woodman would get demoed in the men's game, and Portia Woodman is a terrifying powerhouse.

The only question I think worth asking around this in team/contact sports is, "Is anyone going to get hurt by this?". Be it a trans woman playing with women or a trans man playing against men. I will note I never see the latter of these situations making headlines. Nobody seems worried if a small trans dude wants to kick it with his brethren. It's always the trans women wanting to play with her sisters that gets people out of sorts. We certainly aren't seeing a sudden influx of men transitioning to women to play high level rugby with high level athletes bodies. So even then, my only question isn't likely ever going to be asked. Not in good faith, anyway.

But with powerlifting, the old adage is that you're really only competing with yourself. There's no contact. It's just you, the bar and the weights. Do the job right, you get the three white lights. Do the job really right, you get to take home a trophy or a record. Nobody is getting physically hurt by another competitor. While I can understand the fear of the scenario, where a young powerlifting prodigy in the women's grade is outshone by a trans woman who is simply stronger and nobody can compete with them, as far as I know it hasn't happened. Janae Maree Kroc stopped competitve lifting once she begun hormone therapy to aid her transition, and she's about the only person I can think of who could have fit the 'scenario'.

Jaycee Cooper, from the article, has a decidely unremarkable powerlifting record. And I use the word unremarkable to support her in her ventures. She didn't transition to sneak in a world record. In the 2022 comp, she successfully lifted:

Squat: 150kg

Bench: 97.5kg (failed 102.5kg)

Deadlift: 155kg

She, and everyone else, were eclipsed by Amanda Lawrence. Who, in the same weight class as Jaycee, lifted:

Squat: 242.5kg

Bench: 130kg

Deadlift: 252kg

You have to drop down weight classes to about the 60kg range, before finding people that Jaycee would be on par with in the competition, and even then it's only on bench. That could be a holdover from her body having more testosterone pre-transition? But it's not my business. All I know is that typically, men have noticeably stronger upper bodies. Case in point, I can bench more than Amanda Lawrence. No fucking way I can squat or deadlift more than her, and she's about 10kg lighter than I am.

Sorry that's a lot of waffle, it's something I get asked about at work as these conversations come up, and I've been in that powerlifting community for the better part of a decade. A longwinded way of saying I'm with kb and say "Let them lift". Jaycee was never going to set records, and it was never about that. She just wants to compete and be valid.

Um. I bought a house. Scary times.

Got promoted at work, I'm now a manager and I'm very tired. Finally got my first of 2 Covid-19 jabs and we had another recent lockdown.

Also hello, hope you're all well.

In my sex ed classes in High School (around 2006/7) we had a wonderful teacher who didn't just focus on STDs, contraception and the like - but discussed what a healthy relationship should entail, and the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/the-wireless/374526/the-pencilsword-no-i-in-sex

They were particularly helpful lessons as rural New Zealand can be a difficult place to develop into an adult. You play rugby? You're a king. You bang the girls and crush tins and you'll be praised for it. "Pressure's on boy, have you rooted her yet?". Everything was a competition and I bought into it wholeheartedly because I wanted to continue to be a part of it all. It was all I knew, and all I cared about - like the above linked comic.

Despite the helpfulness - it took me until my early 20s before I started treating women in the right manner (as y'know, actual people) - nearly a decade of sex-having where I saw it as a conquest rather than an experience.

Now there's a whole host of young guys at our gym, 16-19 years old. Most starting a new year off, trying to get jacked for the girls. I chat to them about training and we move into life topics, eventually one will ask how I know all the "hot sluts" at the gym.

My response is now "Well I don't call them sluts, that's my first bit of advice". The girls at the gym are friendly with me because they know I'm genuine and am actively not trying to sleep with them. I've introduced them to my girlfriend at the gym, I've helped them prepare for powerlifting competitions, practice lifting techniques and so on. My interest is their enjoyment of their sport and feeling comfortable in the gym, as they deserve to feel. Ogling them and referring to them as "hot sluts" is the exact opposite of what I want for them, and should be the opposite of what these young men want as well.

I can speak to these boys from experience because I used to do the exact same thing as them. But one-by-one I'm going to get these young men to come around earlier than I did.

Anyway it all has to start somewhere. So why not me? Why not now?

Took my partner out for a date night - started with a drink at the pub where we first met, then to a local Japanese restaurant where I had a scrumptious pork curry and she got this awesome karaage bowl. Then to another restaurant for an injection donut where they give you this big fuck off syringe with a filling of your choice and you get to pump your donut up. Was choice.

Then Saturday I'm seeing off a friend moving to Canada, and Saturday evening is a wedding, Sunday morning is a catch up with an old colleague and house mate from years gone by. Gonna be all socialised out by then.

Trying to have a nap before the rugby starts tonight. I'm watching France vs USA as a curtain raiser before NZ (hopefully) lay waste to Canada.

I really like how Hubski has personalities behind the usernames. You get used to how a certain person types responses etc, Reddit is so awash with people it's almost just noise at times. I'm glad I came across you lot.

Edit :

https://imgur.com/a/QDWythN

The donut in question

5 years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety - through medication (no longer required) therapy (only as needed) and a lot of support, I now make it through weeks and months without being overly anxious. Certain things crop up and I sometimes have a small relapse but usually I would be considered a normal functioning person who frets a lot more than necessary.

Last week, after moving in with my partner and doing most of the work myself as she is recovering from shingles, losing my grandfather and speaking at his funeral, cancelling a big trip we had planned for a year, losing a good friends father, going through three different faulty washing machines in the new house - just a whole assortment of shit things that on their own, I could handle but together would have me stressed to the nines.. I was ready for the wave of anxiety to hit. On top of my actual stressful job!

But it hasn't. I was walking to work via my new commute (through the local botanical gardens), the sun was shining, I was listening to some music and I felt absolutely normal. There was nothing gnawing at me, nothing worrying me, I walked past people and didn't worry if I looked strange or if my headphones were blaring music too loudly, or if my fly was undone, or any number of things I suddenly stress about - I was just enjoying a walk to my office.

It was a really normal walk from the outside but inside my mind was very, very comfortable for the first time in literal years. It was actually a strange feeling. I'm so used to just handling this intense flow of thoughts and emotions, and I'd gotten pretty good at it, that the mundane notion of having nothing in my mind was actually such a lovely feeling.

That weekend I took my nephew for a walk through the same commute - https://imgur.com/a/wBecqAf

Helping my best mate propose to his girlfriend this weekend.

When he mentioned he wanted to propose at some point, earlier this year, I set to work making a scavenger hunt because his girlfriend is quirky as anything and my friend is far more pragmatic than creative. This has served us very well in our friendship so I don't begrudge him that at all.

So this Saturday we'll pretend to go to the gym for our usual training, and instead mission about town handing out clues to specified areas and explaining the situation to the staff at each place. The locations were picked A) for nostalgic purposes during their courting/budding relationship and B) to have her cross the entire city more than once to eat up time because the second I give her the first clue she will piece everything together in an instant - and I'll struggle to keep a straight face as she bursts into happy tears. So I need her to be busy for a good 90 minutes to 2 hours while my friend sets up the place he has booked for the night. Once she stops crying she will set about being incredibly determined and will want to finish in record time, so the longer she has to travel the better.

All going according to plan, she'll bounce around locations for 90 minutes then eventually the last clue will have her contact me at a certain place and I'll give her some address details + suggest she pack an overnight bag before heading there. Once she arrives, he'll drop the knee.

In other news, my partner and I are taking an extra step, not just living together with flatmates, but moving into our own wee spot of our own. A family friend owns this nice brick, three bedroom house I actually lived in when I was a student. It's been renovated nicely and they're looking for tenants once more. So we'll take over the lease, have the extra bedroom as a studio of sorts and enjoy setting up our lives entirely on our own terms.

Plus we're allowed a cat. Once we move in, first order of business is to head to the nearby SPCA and adopt a cat. Preferably one that has been there a while, we want to give a home to an animal that has been denied one for too long.

Our Japan trip is coming up! I've mastered saying "I'm sorry/excuse me" and have started sampling some vaguely Japanese food so I'm not entirely flabbergasted when we arrive. My partner speaks Japanese thankfully so I'll rely on her a lot while using my adorable foreigner charm to hopefully step on as few toes as possible.

Hope you're all well.