Yesterday I ran 2.25 miles (in .75 mi increments with .3 mi walking in between each because, because-because, that's why) and did 49 push-ups. Two days before I did 50, though. Early this week I finished painting this, except it's not really finished, you just can't tell in the photo. Also, because Facebook was like, all about this photo and I wasn't honest there, I have to be honest here before we have any discussions about art, this is a paint-by-number painting. I fiddled with it some yes, but it's still paint by numbers. ugh wait is imgur ugly rn I made this cabbage dish over the weekend that's a cabbage sliced thin and basically boiled in beer with sausage over the weekend. It was good. I've been eating cabbage for days. Today i'm going to make a mushroom stroganoff and serve it over spaghetti squash. I'm not vegan or vegetarian (obviously - sausage with the cabbage) - but I'm trying this recipe just because it looked interesting. Except I don't have a blender, so I think my sauce is gonna be lumpy. Whatevs, still looks delicious. what else is going on in my life yesterday I impromptu called off sick and went to the beach for a few hours. (on top of running and push ups yes it's miraculous how one can do many things in a single day). i'm throwing a crazy party in about a month. my birthday is in about 5 weeks. I'm going to bring back Grubski I think maybe!
Thank you! I think I am going to have to start being more educated about work-out days and rest days soon, but for now I'm still a beginner so I think I'm mostly all right in just being one-on, one-off (it's just that i feel like my exercises are starting to really pile up on my "on" days and I need to figure out how to temper them/rotate them, so maybe my "off" days aren't all "off" but just different exercises)
Today I ran 2.3+ miles in 1.1 run, .25 walk segments (2) plus the spare change. I did 62 push ups in sets of 10, 10, 8 x 4, 6 x 2, and I watched a "friend" flirt with someone she knew I was mostly interested in before going to have dinner and drinks with her ex. There are some things that, in life, we realize we don't need. Like this friend.
Okay, so don't try that recipe without a blender. They're making cashew milk, basically, which isn't tough, but does require a blender. Alternatively, cashew milk which you boil down. Or - let's get real here - you're making a vegan recipe and you aren't vegan. Stroganoffs are made with sour cream. use sour cream. Also, fuck barley. Serve that shit over egg noodles like a civilized human being.
boil them and salt them? they do that to peanuts sometimes, don't they? could work.
As an alternative, get a spiralizer, and make zucchini pasta. It has a better texture than spaghetti squash, isn't sweet so it doesn't blow up your flavor (which could be a disaster with stroganoff), and you can make it in five minutes instead of hours. I'm a convert. You can pick up a spiralizer for about $10-15. Great investment if you're into non-pasta.
For your friend: for you: though your heart may be broken, and life about to end No matter what you've lost - be it a home, a love, a friend Like the Mary Ellen Carter, Rise again I wish I could help you carry your burdens.Rise again, Rise again,
I'm sore from running 8 miles in the last two days, plus the brutal workout my girlfriend put me through. Speaking of the girlfriend, we finally said those three big words, "I love you." On the same day, at the same time, independently. I don't think it could have gone any better :) Finally, I'm applying for a few health administrative fellowships. I would work for a year or two learning the ropes in a hospital/health care system. So I'm just working on putting my applications together. First up: getting my letters of recommendation. The rest should be relatively easy.
2000+ people looked through my telescope in three days. We've been hyping the lunar eclipse, and helping people laugh at all the blood moon garbage that is in the media. I'm thinking we can hit 15,000 total outreach people this year; the previous high was 2500. And yea, we got that in what amounts to a weekend. My side work to make the world suck less punched me in the gut last week and I am debating replying to another post in a way that calls to the audience. Gonna sleep on it one more day and maybe let it slide. One of the benefits of an online forum like this is that you can stop, think and compose a reply in your head that does not sound angry, combative or emotional. Being the better person can really suck at times.
I'm intrigued and interested in this.My side work to make the world suck less punched me in the gut last week and I am debating replying to another post in a way that calls to the audience. Gonna sleep on it one more day and maybe let it slide. One of the benefits of an online forum like this is that you can stop, think and compose a reply in your head that does not sound angry, combative or emotional. Being the better person can really suck at times.
#neversettle I've sent my resume twice this week, for two very cool projects here at my new uni: 1) Three weeks ago I found out that the nation's top researcher on self-driving cars is in the same building I am writing this from. So I approached him - is there any chance I could help him with his research? I genuinely want to do more with the subject and what better way to do that than to help researcher. He responded very enthusiastically (so yes) and he's gonna talk to his colleagues about it. 2) Amother thing I learned is that this University has multiple really cool student project teams that are developing cool vehicle tech - they have a project team building the world's most efficient vehicle, fastest human powered vehicle and one building a fricking rocket. There is one team who is building the fastest hydrogen powered car and is currently recruiting new members. Their current 85Kw car did a world record breaking lap for hydrogen cars on the Nurburgring this summer - 10 minute something - and now they wanna rebuild it with 100Kw and they are looking for someone to help with planning. Would be seriously awesome l if I can help them with that.
So, usually I dont tall about my personal life on here, partly cause I don't like to sound like a little sis but also because personal is personal. Today is awful though, and I think maybe some feedback/encouragement would be nice. I'm pretty much at a stalemate at my job. My job has gotten to the point where it's taken a toll on my body, my mental health, and my marriage and things are steadily getting worse every day. If I put into words how bad things are, I doubt anyone would believe me. The only thing that keeps me from walking out is that I don't want to be an unemployed burden on my wife. Today, today has been especially awful. It's a miracle I haven't rage quit. So here I am, on my lunch, searching job websites where I see a local jeweler is looking for an apprentice for jewelery repair. I'm thinking about applying. It would be a 40% paycut to what I'm making now, probably even more when you factor in loss of benefits. I don't care though. I can make the budget work, especially if I pick up a second part time job. To do something though, with my hands and be proud of what I do without ruining my already feeble body appeals to me so much. I sent the link to my wife. She isn't opposed to the idea which is the closest thing to an "ok" you can get out of her, so I think as soon as I get home tonight I'm going to email the place and see what kind of trouble I can't get myself into.
Only spent a few years in industry, but I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work, like a slow motion suicide. Not all of them even got paid overtime. You should try to stay alive though, you seem pretty cool.
I don't mean to be a downer here, but know what sucks? You know it's happening the whole time, but you're stuck. It's your job. Your entire life literally hinges on it. You can't just up and stop because if you do, your life will quickly come to ruin. After all, bills have to be paid and reputations need to be kept. So, instead of just saying "enough" and leaving outright and risking to let everything quickly falls apart, you try to see what you can do to wiggle out, see if you can't escape while you risk everything crumbling away slowly. I'm not gonna let that happen to me though. I'll figure something out. Hell, if I'm desperate, the gas station down the road needs a third shift cashier. I think that job might be worth it for the stories alone.I've still seen people kill themselves gradually with their work.
This seemed to be the most common factor that kept people slaving away in my little cross section of the nation's workforce. Many people had enough money to take years off. I only know of one who did. Leaves of absence are too often looked down on as a weakness, akin to a character flaw. I had written a paragraph here about wage slavery, but replaced it with this single sentence in memory of my distaste of said paragraph. There are great things that can come out of hard work. But when you're thinking about human lives or health in terms of $'s, reputation, or other metrics of assessing an irreducible value, it's time to take a step back, if you can at all (TRIGGERALERT:PUN) afford to. Glad to hear you have some options, though never enough, right? If we're being honest, life's pretty rough for me right now, though the choice to make it so was my own. If I had more time, I would certainly spend much of it here....reputations need to be kept.
There's a sense of machismo that comes to having a strong work ethic, to going above and beyond every single day. Coming in early, staying late, making sure what needs to be done gets done, right, proper, and ahead of schedule. We put value in ourselves as hard workers because we're told that hard work is valuable. Sometimes I wonder though, if I over emphasize that value, both in myself and the people I work with, to try and make up for the fact that sometimes feel like maybe we sacrificed just a little too much in the name of hard work. Don't get me wrong, I'm a damn hard worker and even though I'm having a rough time of things, I go in every day and do it all 110%. Just cause I'm unhappy, it doesn't mean I am willing to do less than what is expected of me. Reputation, machismo, whatever else we might think it is, slacking off just seems so unethical. I hope you're okay man. I really do. I know a lot of people are having a hard time right now. I see it on Pubski a lot. There's also a lot of success stories on here too. Proud mile stones. Hopefully soon we can both add to the second category, yeah?
Once, I went to therapy, mainly so my mother could sleep better at night. Didn't really get too much out of it, but I remember when the therapist evaluated "how _______ made me feel", and they casually said "well, if it's [a] primal [emotion], it's valid", and that idea really stuck with me throughout the years. So it's not too hard for me to understand dat machismo appeal coming from putting in some serious hours for a project, especially if you're emotionally vested in it. I've been there, and it's arguably ingrained in us to promote the evolution of our species. One of the first posts I ever made here was an #askhubski question titled "How Do You Balance Your Time?" or something like that. Basically the answer was "no", or "you don't/good luck/let us know when you figure that out". I think we're in a community of exceptionally driven people. Interpret that as will, it's good and bad, but generally good, imho. Seriously though, best of luck finding that balance of lifestyle that makes you genuinely content with it all. Often I find that a big change, scary as though it may be, is refreshing enough to keep me feeling inspired and alive. I think that generally, everyone benefits from novel experiences more than most people acknowledge. Third shift at a gas station might be pretty formative, and that would bring some nice stories to Pubski, lulz. And no need to worry about me. I'm living in a sort of academic analog to Harry Potter's world right now. Yeah, shit's rough, but (I think) I get to win in the end.
yeah but he also dies and comes back so as long as you're willing to put up with that I guess
I was right there with you until the first project where I said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment I heard about it, all my peers said "there is no way this is going to work out well" the moment they heard about it... and we were all ignored so I spent a few miserable years trying to make it work anyway, dropping out of graduate school the first time because I was working day and night. I still take pride in my craft, but I only put as much work into the job as I need to accomplish the things that need to and can be accomplished unless I have a project that particularly interests me. People who ask you to burn yourself out aren't worth impressing.
Jewelry making is awesome. I almost got a second BFA in it but the RoI seemed low. Actually, everything I've ever wanted to do is expensive and hard. Jewelry's a bitch though. Every flaw is right there staring at you at that scale. Sweat soldering successfully was probably the most excited I've ever been to do some art thing. Shit's hard, brah.
Yeah. My wife knows a bit about jewelery and all herself, as she's a fan of things like Etsy and she said similar. That alone wouldn't be enough to deter me. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I got a keen eye for detail and the work ethic of a farmer. Those are the qualities that have gotten me where I am today without a college degree. Seeing as how she has a better grasp on these kinds of things than I do though, I had her look over the job ad and the company with me and she said it's either A) a scam or B) one of those companies that takes people in quick and burns them out as they're not looking for a "jewelery apprentice" as advertised. Apparently it's one of those companies where people mail their jewelery to get repaired and sent back. At the same time, the address on the add doesn't match the address on the company's website. So, I dunno. It's got me thinking though. I bet if I look around I could find a job in etching, screen printing, machine embroidery, leather embossing, or something of the sort. They all appeal to me. They're all honest work and something I could proudly say I do, on here, at a bar, at barbecues, and in general conversations. Worse comes to worse though, come the new year, I'm giving them the finger and getting a part time job at a local deli or grocer or something until I can find something better. I'm burned out.
You never know what will come up in the future, you might find an amazing opportunity or find that new doors will open if you were to leave. I think that self-fulfillment is one of the most important things a person can strive for. I've been in industry for only a few months now on the engineering / manufacturing supervision / quality side of things and I have a ton of respect for people who work in industry, it's a grind even getting through one month of it and it's a thankless job. Given that, I have no doubts you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way.
Honestly? Jewelry design is the only thing I ever actually wanted to do, as opposed to things other people wanted me to do. I took a course in graduate gemology, had the catalogs from Rio Grande Mineral Supply, messed about with lost wax, the whole nine yards. The markup on jewelry is pretty astounding. It's a high-profit enterprise. As trades go, there are worse ones to learn. Here's where my ring came from. James gave up on 15 years as a Boeing machinist, if i recall correctly.
Insecurity. I knew if I got an engineering degree I'd never have to rely on my parents for money and being completely fucking free and clear of my family was an important consideration. Then, once I had an engineering degree, I did the most-fun thing I could find. Then, once I'd run that career into the ground, I did the most-logical thing next. Then, once I ran that into the ground, I did the next most-logical thing next. So on the one hand, I've lived the life of Reilly, bouncing from biomedical designer to audiovisual consultant to Hollywood sound mixer and screenwriter to author. But on the other hand I've been bouncing from one next-best opportunity to another, with jewelry design the Rosebud abandoned in a snowy field 25 years in the past as I amass a loathed life and a loathed empire. Of course, today is a bitter day and the fact that I have an ear infection probably 6 hours from critical probably isn't helping. Excuse me, I prolly oughtta hop over to urgent care.
1) Yes.
Amoxicillin: $2.46 That's the amazingly stupid thing: under my previous (obamacare) health insurance, my daughter's eczema meds were $240 a bottle. Under my (union) health insurance, my daughter's eczema meds are $12 a bottle. What the fuck does my job have to do with my daughter's eczema?
I like Obamacare, as an attempt at implementing successful Scandinavian policy, but the way our medical industry threads are intertwined here in the states makes it a little harder. I want to believe that we're cranking out innovations and research fueled by our very free market, but it's not even that simple. Edit: this is where you school me. b_b always advocates for more NIH funding, but I know he works in the healthcare industry, and he seems kinda greedy. just kidding b_b duh #intentionallynottagged
Honestly? Obamacare gave our insurance company force majeure to cancel our existing, carefully selected, carefully grandfathered $230/mo insurance and force us into $874/mo insurance with triple the deductible, half the coverage and a pugnacious reluctance to pay anything. At the same time, I recognize that as the middle-class guy with a viable job, it's my lot to pick up the slack for people who otherwise would have zero insurance so, okay, I'll take that on the chin. Until I can slide into happy Union insurance that has a deductible of $5, covers everything and provides benefits through the nose while costing me $50 a quarter. The fact that I can slip through all three of these scenarios in the space of 9 months without moving, changing jobs or otherwise experiencing any major or minor changes to my life or lifestyle says a shitload about how fucked up the system is. That $5,000 toxoplasmosis pill? Tip of the fuckin' iceberg.
That about sums it up, thanks. I just changed providers from a (reportedly) decent name brand plan to a university healthcare system, but it's a private school. So I have another data point now, the private uni provider; slightly higher co-pays in general, but much lower annual buy-in. Probably the better option for me (I don't see a doctor much), until "something happens". My older provider picked up a coworker's $1.5 mil hospital bill. He beat leukemia, and didn't have to pay a cent. Love that guy. Here, I've written a speech to teach children how it all works^TM, as I see it:Gather round, young tots. Just a few more commandments passed down from the mountain today. Uhh, let's see, first is "make sure your mother or father has access to excellent healthcare benefits until you turn 26", which is important, children. For you. For your health. Ah, I see a hand up, unfortunately there will be no questions answered today, sorry children, no time, no time! OK, next on the list we have "when you turn 26, be sure you have a job with good benefits, or have a legal marriage to a spouse with access to good benefits". Yes, kids, see, if you're working a minimum wage job, that's not going to be very good for your healthcare. That's why everyone should go to college! Now the next one is "don't get sick". It's just better off when you're well, right? And if you're not well, that could be punishing. Sometimes it depends on the abilities of your provider's Office of Claim Dodging, so it's better off that you all save up a small fortune. But every kid knows that we have to spend some to tickle the ol' economy! Just gotta find that balance. Still with me? "Always have a job", is another simple one. We need hard workers to power America, kids, and YOU ARE that power. You're the workers too. The point is, no one needs to run off on some silly sabbatical! You could die out there, they'll pull your plug if you blow through your net worth!! Eek, sorry, but yes: you need to always work :). Last one now, "there is probably a tax-free income medical funding withholding program offered through your place of employment and/or their/your healthcare provider." That one's pretty self explanatory, guys. OK, no questions? Great! Thanks kids, and stay healthy out there!
This morning, I was trying to get my students to understand cognitive complexity -- how our brains are so fond of their ideas that as soon as they have an interpretation of a behaviour (usually negative interpretation) they seem to fixate on that interpretation rather than come up with five more possible interpretations. In order to drive my point home, I end up telling them about hunting for psillocybin mushrooms in B.C. I tell the students that we would look and look and hunt and hunt and find nothing. Then we would find one. After finding that one, we would turn around and go back where we just were and see them everywhere. I tell my students that positive or value-neutral interpretations are like that. If you leave your first negative interpretation behind and find one positive interpretation, you can usually find a dozen more.
Do you think several negative interpretations and/or several positive interpretations would help avoid this? It's a great example, but you should do a control test where you didn't eat the mushrooms, to make sure they're not interfering. :P By the way, aren't there thousands of psilocybin mushrooms that look very dfiferent? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psilocybin_mushroomsAfter finding that one, we would turn around and go back where we just were and see them everywhere.
In a given region, there won't be thousands of species. And, within genera or even families, they'll look pretty similar. In the Northwest, it's so wet there are probably a couple dozens species at least. From what I've heard though, all psilocybin mushrooms will bruise blue-ish, due to the psilocybin presence. Of course, never eat anything you aren't 100% sure on. Even then, a small amount to check first would be very advisable.
I was just reading this in an article about mushroom explosion in the Vancouver area about a year ago: The BC Drug and Poison Control Information Centre received about 400 calls about exposure to wild mushrooms over the last two years. Most cases of serious illness were due to adults or teenagers eating poisonous mushrooms, either mistakenly harvested or used to try to “get high”.And the so-called “magic mushroom” (Psilocybe semilanceata) is frequently mistaken for its look-alike Galerina autumnalis, which is highly toxic and can be lethal if ingested.
As for mushrooms: The ones we were looking for were very delicate with little brown tips. I imagine eating the mushroom made it possible to see more everywhere, and how could we not? It was the strangest thing. The picture above is from a University of British Columbia article about how these psilocybes used to be all over campus in the 70s. Where are they now? |“Through the late ’60s and early ’80s, there was a lot of interest in [magic mushrooms], and they grew very abundantly on campus,” said Kroeger. “On campus, we have a couple thousand species. The ones that would be desirable for food might be one dozen or two dozen, the ones that are psychoactive might be four or five species.”Do you think several negative interpretations and/or several positive interpretations would help avoid this?
Negative interpretations are easy. Mix up all those negs with at least one positive for greater cognitive complexity.
"Yeah, so since you called us and said you wanted to make this deal happen, 'whatever it takes,' we've regurgitated the Letter of Intent you offered us three months ago so that everything's the same except that instead of doing $100k worth of tenant improvement, we'll handle that and instead you give us six months free rent on a five year lease. How's that sound?" "Super great. Only, instead of $14/sf/yr, I think I'm going to charge you $16/sf/year. Here, sign on the dotted line." "Uhm... what the fuck?" "Yeah, well last time I was going to gouge you on construction costs and since I can't do that, I have to gouge you on rent." "See, here in this document you created you said 'anywhere between zero and total.' We're going to go with 'zero.' So I repeat: what the fuck?" "Well, everything else in the building is rented for more, and I was giving you a deal at $14." "Well, you haven't rented shit since the last time we talked and, gentle reminder, YOU APPROACHED US. Also, we came in at $15 and you lowered it to $14. Remember that?" "Uh, no, actually." "Here. We keep documents." "Oh. Well, I'm not actually advertising the space for that little." "Oh. Well, actually you aren't advertising the space at all anymore. Remember? You came to US." "Well, I never advertised it that low." "Actually, dipshit, here's your flyer where you advertised it for $12-18. That's why we came in at $15. Because we were trying to be equitable. But fuck me, right?" "Uhm... let me get back to you." "You do that, uber-choad." FUCKING COMMERCIAL BROKERS NEED TO DIE IN A FIRE Combine that with the fact that I'm packing (and officially unemployed!) and the only true joy in my life at the moment is chasing my daughter and watching Volkswagen roast on a spit. I'll share this little joy: ring ring "Los Angeles Bureau of Street Services, how can I help you?" "Uhm... yeah, so my moving company says I need some no parking signs for the street so they can park a truck and not charge me a thousand dollars for shuttle fees and I'm trying to do that online but your "login page" has no "create new account" section. So how do I do that?" "Really? That's weird. Let me put you on hold." click. ... ring ring "Los Angeles Bureau of Street Services, how can I help you?" "Uhhh, yeah, the other lady hung up on me when I asked how to log into your page." "Which page are you trying to log into?" "The 'house move permit' part." "What are you trying to do, exactly?" "Well, uhm, move from Los Angeles to Seattle." "Okay. You don't want to log in to our page. That's a permit for literally moving a house." "Damn." "Yeah. Here, let me get you the number of the people you want - " "How many calls like this do you get a day? 'cuz Google points right at LA311, and LA311 points right at you." "Too many." "Have you thought about changing your webpage?" "You mean the webpage talking about our new business hours in 2010 in flashing Myspace fonts?" "That's the one." "Honey, if we had any control over our own webpage we wouldn't be having this discussion."
I just want to scream. About how good I'm feeling about the girl I'm seeing and how good I'm feeling about myself and how good I hope this will turn out to be. Life is weird. I'm happy. Got another project at work yesterday. Going to workout after work today. Going to a show tomorrow. Who knows. So many different things happening in my mind right now.
The Grand Poobah is where you are, the president of China is near where I am. What a weird week.
So, my bike got stolen. This wouldn't normally be a big problem, but literally every bike that I've ever owned has been stolen, regardless of what security measures I take to prevent it. This bike theft particularly hurt, simply because I had just spent a lot of time and energy fixing up this bike and installing/tweaking a bunch of brand new parts. It isn't even worth much, maybe $100 if you found the right buyer, and it was the only bike taken from my rack. On the upside, I've decided to start running as a form of exercise, and that isn't sucking as much as I had anticipated.
Do you know how to run? It seemed like a stupid question when a coworker asked me that, but I'd been having knee and other joint pain from running. I watched a bunch of YouTube videos on running and read some sites. If you're new to running, I encourage doing the same. I'm not a strong or fast runner, but I like it.
I think they may have a point about the not overdoing it part - you don't want to start off over analyzing your gait and style. It'll be slow at the start while you tweak any weaknesses apparent. My big one was keeping more upright - I had a sprint coach assigned to me for my sport of choice and they got me to keep my chest up, I had a tendency to let it droop when I get more into my stride, probably because it felt natural and I had been doing it that way for years; sort of lazy like. It took me a while to get the mechanisms down after years of doing something a specific way, but if you're relatively new to the whole running thing I bet you'll be loving it in no time!
Looking at a couple now, this one hits all the points I found important for myself: The part starting around 1:40 was especially important for me. I spent a lot of time running more slowly but making sure I didn't over stride and land on my heel. The video hits a lot of other good points, too.
I'm still feeling absolutely brokenhearted after getting dumped. I won't rant about it, because I already had an #askhubski post about it, but I'm feeling worse, not better. In addition to that, I've got a huge TEDx event coming up that I'll be an MC for, which is a lot of fun, but I'm super nervous, and I'm afraid I'll fuck it up. Also, the rehearsals and events are causing me to lose two full days of class, and about 3-4 hours every night...and I only have a few lines, dammit! Such a time-sink... I've also gotten a job as a marketing intern for an NPO, and I've been doing that for about 2 months. We're launching a new website next Thursday, and things. are. not. ready. We went to a company in my city to do the website, and they basically put half of it together and said, "If you want a functioning website, you're going to have to pay more money." So, it falls on the lowly intern to fix everything. I have to go through this company's shitty software, and I can't figure out how to do half of the things that need done. I've spent several hours on it today alone, and it's only getting more frustrating. I'm also doing poorly in classes, which is great! I'm starting to feel like I'm not suited for my major, and I'm considering a change. I'm going to push through the next round of assignments, and start going to office hours more often so I can see what's possible. If that goes poorly, I don't know what to do. Half of my scholarships are tied to the program I'm in, so leaving it is going to mean student loans and a general lack of direction in my life. The future is a scary place. Sorry to be using pubski as a place to complain, but I'm just really worn out this week. I feel like I need a break, but I don't know if I've got the free time to give myself one.
I'll say this. You have things that you want to do. You are probably not able to do all of thing things that you want or will want to do. You will not suddenly be better at doing these things that you want to do if you burn yourself out. I thought the idea of self-care was for ninnies for a big part of my life. It doesn't have to be dramatic, or take a lot of time, but you need to be your own first priority. In my case, I have an urge to speed-walk everywhere in the hospital where I work. I know that I get tired out easily, and that I am less effective at my job if I am tired. So in this instance, self-care is knowing that I need to be mindful of my walking speed, and while I don't dawdle going from place to place, I also don't push myself to be super early to everything.
I'm someone who firmly believes in the idea that someone can grow and mature, so I can be persuaded to trust people after they've broken it. It may take you literally years and years, but it happens. Well, I'm here to say: yea fuck that. Some people are just awful, and won't change no matter what you do. Sometimes this isn't their fault exactly as they are battling with deeply ingrained issues, but sweet mother of god that is not your place to heal them. Sometimes the best and only option is distance (how much distance depends on the situation). In other news I delivered two speeches this week one introducing a fellow classmate, and another on the issue of American Infrastructure. I think both went well, but I made both so what do I know? School in general is going pretty good, and I'm definitely trying my best to be more outgoing this year (You might think that's a bit late being a senior and all, but I try not to think about the past). My gym-going has come to a halt after I kind of hurt my left knee. It has made it nearly impossible for me to squat without further injury, so I've actually had to take a break for a week or two (at least until it feels better). If it doesn't improve in the first week I'll probably see a doctor about it. Off the top of my head I can't really think of anything else going on in my life...I did ask a woman out a few days ago. It didn't go my way, but I'm not too beat up about it. P.S. arguewithatree I know we haven't checked in awhile, but I hope your fitness is still going well. Mine of course has come to a halt (besides some workouts that don't involve my knee).
My anecdote on this is one friend and I were really, really close for a lot of reasons. Similar interests, similar opinions on things, similar challenges we were struggling with. But we each had our own issues that made everything not perfect. I could point to some of hers that bothered me and could list some of my own that probably bothered her. We grew distant for about a year. But all those compatabilities still existed, and we rekindled the friendship. But now we keep a little distance, and it seems to work well. Neither of us annoy the other because we avoid those situations. It's just one data point, but I do think it's possible to restore past ties, being careful to avoid the things that bothered us in the first place. Because I agree: those things don't change. But we can change how or even if we have to deal with those things. Did you touch on electrical infrastructure? That's my area and always find opinions, views and discussions fascinating.Some people are just awful, and won't change no matter what you do. Sometimes this isn't their fault exactly as they are battling with deeply ingrained issues
It was only a five and half minute speech for class which really limited the topics I was able to highlight in it. I did mention some aspects of electrical infrastructure, but geared my speech more towards things classmates could relate to like school infrastructure, road/bridges, water, and then a more general discussion. I'm extremely interested in almost every category of American Infrastructure, but it was just too much for a speech haha
oh no D: RICE that ish. this just made me realize I completely forgot to grab the guest passes for my gym yesterday because my experience with the fucking fellowship office at Georgetown was so abysmal I rage quit right then and there. basically, i submitted a draft for my fulbright application in july, got a shitload of edits that i made, resubmitted it, interviewed in front of a panel of past reviewers yesterday, and every single piece of advice they told me was the EXACT opposite of what the fellowship office had told me to do -- and what i had done originally. rage.
What's wrong with you people? Pubski has been up for 25 minutes and not one person has anything to share? Jesus Christmas and Lord of Mercy. Do you people not know that Wednesdays is one of my hardest days of the week? I need you to post here to keep me entertained. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR LIVES, GOD DAMNIT!
Bit of an interesting week for Fove. I hit 120kg (260lb) Deadlifting on Tuesday - the Deadlift is a big weakness for me so I'm glad it's coming along, I had been hoping to hit 120kg by Christmas; time to upgrade the goals! At work I'm helping roll out the new systems upgrade; being a government branch this is pretty cool stuff I get to handle, and I get to teach all my colleagues in my department how to handle the changes. This is very different to my actual job but I'm glad they asked me to do it. Question for you all though - I've been sort of, seeing/dating a couple of people around town. I've been getting mixed reviews about whether I should be going out with different people. I've been honest about the lack of exclusivity and this is just seeing how we gel out and about doing things, and each one has been fine with that; but I haven't exactly said "yeah so on this date with some other girl last week". Am I a dick? Should I settle it down and focus on one person? I don't want to fall into that teenager version of me where I was a "player" and I really did treat women like shit, no getting around it. But I like all of them and it's a nice change to be so busy and sociable.
1) It is stupid to go on casual (minimum : 1-3rd) dates with only one person at a time if a) you met the other person on a dating site; b) you don't know the other person or what they want very well; c) you aren't sure what you want. AKA, at the beginning, I encourage non-monogamy; it prevents "all eggs in one basket" syndrome and suchlike. 2) At 3 dates/100% intercourse on a repeated occasion/3-5 weeks, the relationship will begin to be defined. Even if you say nothing about the relationship or what relationship you want to have with this person, if you have gone on repeated dates, whatever relationship you have with this person will start to coalesce. It's my personal rule that if, by 5-6 weeks of repeated hanging out and/or fucking, a conversation about "what are we?" hasn't happened, that's because neither party wants to have that conversation. at which point you can feel free to continue to be non-monogamous if you haven't had that discussion, because the other person probably doesn't want to (and if you wanted to, you would have tried to have that conversation) 3) non-monogamy? a-okay. non-protected non-monogamy? NOT okay. protect yourself, protect your partners. 4) saying things like "i went on a date with this other girl x days ago/last week" = 100% honest, 100% boner-killer. there is a fine line to walk between honesty and too much honesty. even if you wanted a long term serious relationship with someone you wouldn't say so on the first date, and that's because on the first date, you may know what you want, but you don't know if you want it with that person. that's fine. there are some things you SHOULDN'T disclose on a first date. ("I hooked up with some rando this weekend!"). learn where that line is, and learn where your personal ethical line is. balance the difference
Today, I'm asking a girl out. She's the same year and faculty as me, but a different group; we meet through lectures, and today's History, but we don't know each other. Last time - and the first time - I asked out a person I didn't know otherwise was two years ago (or more, I lost track of the meantime), under similar circumstances, so I'm nervous. This time, I'm attracted because she appears to be a good companion and a good student. She looks good, too, so hell yeah. For the last few days, I've been reading Mark Manson's articles on vulnerability, dating, love life and the like, and it gave me quite an amount of courage (in case you stumble upon this, - thank you very much, Mark). Today is the deadline: if I don't ask her out (unless circumstances beyond my control arise - like, her being sick and not coming to the university today), I won't try again and will live with that. I'll be honest with her and speak my mind (which is something I have deep problems with usually). Whatever happens after I invite her out, so be it: at least I'd know I tried, at least I'd know I can.
...and, rejected. The girl turned out to be hell of a shy one. She was very uncomfortable after I asked her out. Eyes low and away from me, uncertainty of phrasing ("Me? Well... I don't know... Write me [through the social network], if you want..."), nothing specific and certainly no "Fuck yeah, let's go out" - which, I believe, means I have nothing of interest to look for here. It's a good thing. I figured: if she doesn't want to spend time with me on her own, why am I to chase her, to persuade her to do so? why am I to want to spend time with her - a person not interested in me? Now, granted, I was a bit too far from appealing as I approached her. I looked good as always, but I spoke very quietly - even by my own standards. I was nervous and wasn't prepared for when she came out of the lecture room; could I ever be? Either way, my performance wasn't as good as I was high-hoping for, but - I did it; even the self-hater in myself can't deny that, or that it was good. I feel like I'm unconsciously looking for such girls: shy, insecure or unconfident, as if to feel superior to them in a twisted way. This isn't what I consciously want: I want to find a person who'd want to be with me without me having to persuade them. How big of a part is my performance in convincing a girl? how much my (perceived) confidence matters as I ask her out?
I went camping with a group of friends last weekend. I had to borrow gear from my parents because I don't own any of my own. It had been a long time since I had camped, so I was pretty excited. It was disappointing to discover that 'camping' meant 'getting drunk in a field'. I ended wandering off by myself so I could listen to the owls and watch meteors. I've been researching camping gear since I got back from that misadventure. I think I'm going to go with a hammock instead of a tent.
Camping is great stuff. This tent is heavy (being canvas), and a little on the pricey side, but we love it so much (it's a Lotus Belle 'Outback') :
It's a great tent. This location (Port Jackson, NZ) is notorious for high winds - we've had 2 other tents destroyed there in the past. This tent effortlessly endured winds stronger than those that ripped tents we had before, so even though it wasn't cheap, we consider it money well spent.
I've camped a couple times this summer, and when I tell people I have no fire and am miles from the car they all give me a confused look. Getting away from it all is fantastic. I don't understand why people bring all the baggage of drinking and getting loud with them to the woods. I use a tent but researched hammocks a bit. They have a niche, and people that use them seem to love them. I'm pretty new to it all, but I really love it.
Back to things failing in lab. Classes have been neat though. Last week's topic: multi-photon microscopy: Tomorrow is a demo on expansion microscopy and optogenetics. We ended up asking a bunch of questions about its developments and PI of the lab went into his unpublished slide deck and started showing updates on the technique for multiplexing this and getting better imaging on that. It's exciting stuff, and it looks like neuroscientists are going to have a prosperous next decade.
I'm back from Asia after 5 months of traveling, still living out of a backpack on the couches of friends. In no way am I ready/willing to jump back into the 9-5 fray. As it turns out, some of the most prominent orchid growers in the world are also in the SF bay area, and I love orchids. I think I'm going to try and work in an orchid nursery. That sounds pleasant.
Haven't been here in a while, just trying to get a grip on life most of the time. Anyways, I'm in the process of applying for Venture for America, and just generally finding a job. Preparing myself for Popaggedon here in Philly, seriously, shit is crazy, will try and get some pictures for ya'll. Btw, are we still doing those "introduce yourself" posts? I've been an on-and-off lurker for just about a year now, kinda wanna get to know ya'll better.
Hi Green Italics -- You bet, it's been a while since we had one of those. I don't even know what the tag was. But dude - (I call everyone dude, gender notwithstanding) - Dude - start an Introduce Yourself post right now - and introduce yourself with all that you just wrote. Shout out to a few of us and we'll give it a share so it gets around the 'ski.
- I'm officially running both of my research studies pretty much completely independently. The Nurse Practicioner who was training me has moved on to her new role (still in my program) and has some supervisory duties, but I'm essentially flying solo now. Which means that I get to implement the changes in our patient screening and enrollment data-management that I've been developing for a few weeks. What that really means is I get to move a bunch of data from one old ad-hoc spreadsheet system to my shiny new spreadsheet system. - My little brothers have a marching band exhibition tonight, and I'm lucky enough to live ~30 mins from the venue. It's always a strange thing to see them doing things that I have memories of doing. Band, band never changes. - Second appointment with the new counselor on Saturday morning. Talk therapy doesn't work for everyone, but it seems to do a lot for me. I'm SUPER curious to see what he has to say after reviewing our notes from last week. - Summer is coming to a close in Michigan. There's a chill in the air in the mornings, and one of my co-workers brought in a basket of apples from the first orchard open to public picking. Which means I want to get one last trip in to the beach before the lakes start to freeze. The trick is finding other people who want to go this late in the season D:
WAIT DAMMIT I FORGOT TO MAKE A 1000 DAYS ON HUBSKI POST YESTERDAY
I really want to go out of town for a couple days but am struggling with leaving my cats. We have a routine, and they seem really happy. I don't want to make them feel bad. Is that weird? I've talked to some friends about it, and nobody has any good advice.
How long are ya gonna be gone? And nope, not weird (at least to me). I felt really bad leaving my cats when I went to college, but makes me really happy whenever I see them again.
What I want to do is four nights. I'd have someone check in on them once a day, and they've done similar lengths before. I'm not sure why it's bothering me so much this time, but it is.
I am trying to figure something out with my girlfriend. It's a long-distance relationship, and it hasn't been going all that well lately; I feel like she's distancing herself from me and I can't really blame her - this time we probably won't be able to meet for EIGHT MORE MONTHS. I have my studies, she has my studies, and the fact that she is on the other side of the Atlantic doesn't help things. Anyway, I also want to pick up biking again. I haven't been on my bike (an old and atrocious piece of hardware) in the past couple of weeks, and I can feel that it's either that, or running (shoutout to flac), and I don't like running in the autumn. It's way too chilly in the morning, and the lungs hurt from the cold air. Perhaps I'm just doing something wrong, I'm not sure.
Don't have much help in way of the first problem, but I would definitely recommend taking your bike to a local shop to get it tuned up. Most places will do it for cheap, and it can make a huge difference, even to an old bike Or, if there's nothing too major wrong with it, I could point you towards some materials to teach you how to fix it up yourself, which can be a really nice set of skills to have, and save you some money in the long run. As for running in the fall, I'm still at school, so I can run in the middle of the day when it isn't so cold out. It's definitely going to be harder once the temperature starts to drop more, though.
Here you go! http://www.sheldonbrown.com Ignore how ugly the site is, there is some great info on there. For me, what helped really understanding my bike was that I had to take it apart, ship it, and put it all back together for an internship. If you happen to have a junky old bike sitting around, or could borrow one from a friend, I would definitely recommend trying to take one apart completely to try and understand why everything does what it does.
I am settling into college and a daily routine. That is very nice to have again. I am going to the gym and eating smaller portions and healthier foods. A gym was never convenient near my house but here it is. I love it. It is harder to make friends than I thought it would be. I've known the same number of people since kindergarten and never really had to make friends. But my floor is friendly and so are the people in my classes, so it is happening, just slowly. There really are a lot of drunk people at night at Syracuse, roommate included...