Insecurity. I knew if I got an engineering degree I'd never have to rely on my parents for money and being completely fucking free and clear of my family was an important consideration. Then, once I had an engineering degree, I did the most-fun thing I could find. Then, once I'd run that career into the ground, I did the most-logical thing next. Then, once I ran that into the ground, I did the next most-logical thing next. So on the one hand, I've lived the life of Reilly, bouncing from biomedical designer to audiovisual consultant to Hollywood sound mixer and screenwriter to author. But on the other hand I've been bouncing from one next-best opportunity to another, with jewelry design the Rosebud abandoned in a snowy field 25 years in the past as I amass a loathed life and a loathed empire. Of course, today is a bitter day and the fact that I have an ear infection probably 6 hours from critical probably isn't helping. Excuse me, I prolly oughtta hop over to urgent care.