I liked hearing about the rat clitorii. Clitoruses.
Clitorios -- sounds like a food... EDIT: real comment time! Just another facet of the Puritan influence on our entire society that drives me nuts. A group of people with awful ideals and an awful lifestyle and it's taken hundreds of years to begin to free ourselves of the social biases they held. Fucking travesty.I liked hearing about the rat clitorii. Clitoruses.
But socially, many straight men still find it a turnoff when women are sexual aggressors.
I was surprised that "many" straight men feel that way. Girls that are sexual aggressors or open about sex and those things are great, and most of my friends at college think the same way with that.
I think it's great now, but when I was younger (15-16) and still relatively indoctrinated by society (sorry) I was thoroughly turned off by a couple of girls who hit on me aggressively. So I can partially sympathize. But normal adult males shouldn't feel that way. EDIT: their data is going to depend on what part of the country they survey and a whole host of other things; I'm too lazy to reread and see if they controlled for that.
I dunno . . . I've been hit on very aggressively by men and women and it made me feel kind of the same way. A creep is a creep and I'm not fine with just anyone grabbing/rubbing my junk. I have also been aggressively hit on by girls I've been interested in, but turned off by the way it's been done. I don't dig the whole "acting sexy" thing sometimes I guess. When I think about it, maybe in the past it's had something to do with a girl acting the way she thought men in general should find appealing that turned me off. For me (and I suspect others) reacting poorly to aggressive sexuality isn't solely a function of "indoctrination". Mostly I am down for casual sex but I have to be in the right frame of mind for it. "I'll bring the wine and you bring the glasses" kind of thing. I also get a bit nervous when people I don't want to be around all the time know how to get to where I sleep.
I'm not even into that, I'm poly but I almost never just hook up with someone. It's just really nice that it's nearly impossible for potential partners to make absurd gendered assumptions about my behavior like those described in the article. My relationships end up built on actual, deliberate discovery of what each of us want rather than the lowest common denominator of stereotypes.
You know how happy I feel inside when a woman approaches me? I want sex. You want sex. Let's have sex. It's THAT simple. I
But for women who’ve been with their partners between one and four years, a dive begins — and continues, leaving male desire far higher.”
A great source of sadness in men.Men want sex but are intimidated, unconfident, or don't want to be seen as domineering.
I do find this interesting; I often hesitate to hit on a girl because I'm worried my attention will be considered unwelcome or even pseudo-rapey somehow.
That bit about declining desire of women in long-term relationships was completely unsurprising to me. Although I don't think the first time you have sex with a new person is likely to be the best, I do find "new" sex inherently more interesting than sex with someone I've had sex with repeatedly before. (To be flip about it, in other words, I move on.) The only way you will get better at hitting on people is if you do it, though. I mean, worry - and your worries at some point may be right, when you say just the wrong thing or stick your foot in your mouth or hit on the wrong gal - but you can't catch fish if you don't stick your hook in the water.
The horrible double standard here is that if the woman thinks you're sexy your advances will be welcome, but if she doesn't find you attractive she will possibly consider them creepy. It's similar to how some people feel "insulted" if someone they consider unattractive approaches them.
I think the fact that you worry about seeming rapy makes you less likely to be.
This is obviously a generalization and there are exceptions but I have experienced it often. My roommate is the worst at this. The second a women sends him a dirty texts he's turned off. Ignore him and he's on. It's an hysterical, ridiculous, and highly amusing game we all play. There is a reason apps like grindr work (and why I was pleasantly surprised that Tinder has been as fun/successful as it has been) -- when you have two openly horny-as-fuck guys and a public bathroom, shit happens, sans games.Think about it: Women want sex, and in particular, they want sex with people who really want them. But socially, many straight men still find it a turnoff when women are sexual aggressors. Which means that, for women, aggressively pursuing the thing they want actually leads to them not getting it. I suspect this is the source of much sexual dissatisfaction of the modern single lady, who's so horny she's running across the street to Walgreens to buy more batteries twice a week, but is unable to pick up men despite social conventions that men are "easy" to bed and women have to be coaxed into casual sex. The thing women are told they can access any time is, maddeningly, often just out of reach.