- Wait, you don’t want to join me at Chipotle for lunch? No problem. I get it. You’re a foodie; I’m a foodie, too. I have strong thoughts about sous vide. I eat kale before noon with some regularity. I get it.
Really, your palate is so refined that you can tell the difference between lettuces even when they’re smothered in sour cream?
What’s with the line? You don’t have eight minutes?
I can't say I fully understand this article. I get that it is mocking people who think they are too good for Chipotle. Is that all there is to it? Is it supposed to be funny?
I think it's just a stream-of-consciousness satirical article about Chipotle. Nothing more, nothing less. I was amused by it, and it's sparked a surprising amount of discussion.
Chipotle is health food? That's news to me. Funny that the burrito I usually order turns out to be a whopping 1090 kcal. If I added a drink, chips and guac (thank god I don't) I'd be pushing 2000 kcal in a single meal. What exactly is supposed to qualify it as "healthy" food? The macro nutrient balance here doesn't look so healthy to me. It certainly suffers from the most disastrous problem of fast food nutrition: way too calorie-heavy portions. If it's meant to be healthy Chipotle is a wolf in sheep's clothing. What I do like about Chipotle is that it's popularizing the norcal style burrito, where you have a bar and select ingredients and build a whole meal out of a burrito. When I came to socal I was expecting to find some good burritos, however I was amazed to find that type of burrito place didn't exist down here. If you ordered a chicken burrito you would get a tortilla full of chicken and nothing else. Just a meat-sack. In socal, this is what burritos were. Hopefully you'll see more (better) places emulate the norcal style now that people down here have seen the light.
Yeah, but what makes an ingredient healthy? It used to be low-fat. Now it's low-carb. Low-sodium? I don't know, Chipotle doesn't seem to be earning any merits in any of those categories. More importantly, what does it matter if the ingredients are healthy if the whole isn't? Sourcing local and organic has its merits but I think it's misleading to say that health is one of them. It's still probably better than comparable fast food, true. But if I wanted to really think about it, I can still order meal-forming items off a Taco Bell menu that are just a couple hundred calories. With Chipotle, you're left to order a regular burrito/bowl/salad and just ask for nothing in it if you want low-cal.
I don't think chipotle claims to be healthy all the time. The reality is, you can have a perfectly "healthy" and low calorie meal at Chipotle if you want. But aside from that, yah the thing is a calorie bomb - but is a calorie bomb with some of the best ingredients $6-8 can buy. I don't think "healthy" means "skinny food" or "diet food". I think it means that food can be good for you AND taste delicious. I think I'm super defensive about Chipotle because I love it, it's a Denver original, and did I mention I love it? I like that the ingredients aren't so terrible. Example: When I go to Chipotle at lunch - I get some barbacoa bomb with white rice, cheese, sour cream, and usually have a side of chips. Is that "healthy"? no. The cheese and sour cream and super salty meat is probably not the best thing for my waist line. The lady I go to lunch with on most days, gets a bowl, light on rice, occasionally chicken, light cheese, no sour cream, and occasionally guac - I don't care who you are - that's down right healthy. A guy I regularly eat with gets the chicken salad. Chipotle is what you make it. You can make the "steve special" gut bomb, or something a lot more "healthy" - and all for around $7.
I have Chipotle maybe a couple of times a year, and when I do it's the only meal I eat that day save for some snacking on fruit or other items. You're right that it doesn't seem to be "healthy" but maybe compared to Taco Bell or other fast food burrito joints it is. There's a few places like Chipotle in the Northeast (see: Qdoba and Moe's), but I'd still much rather go to a more authentic place.
I could spend the next fifty years living and training with the fuckin' taco illuminati learning the art of the balance of textures and flavors in a mountaintop Mayan ruin somewhere and I'll still crave my Chipotle, and I'll still respect them as a company that offers organic, locally raised, healthy foods while expanding a brand. That's some commitment.