Separating with my partner of 10 years. Logistics are going to be rough since we’ve lived together for the past 7 years and I’m not sure he can afford a place without at least getting a part time job. We started dating a month after I turned 18 so I effectively have never been an adult without him around. Lots of adjusting to do, and fear ramping up a little. Somehow, having the official separation talk at burning man turned out great because distractions abounded, I was surrounded by a strong support network of friends and I could process the emotions without having to deal with mundane life management. My work contract at the makerspace also ends at the end of the month. So the next while will be interesting for sure. I wanted to go travel India over the winter but as a single young lady it might not be a good idea. I have to rethink that now. Go some tickets for a Halloween party in Detroit, will probably Roadtrip down with a few friends. So there’s that to look forward to. Also planning to spend a month out in nature picking mushrooms, hiking and fixing up our trailer before winter hits. It’s been a hard year. Hopefully with the changes, despite how hard they are, things will start turning around.
If there is a Hubski meetup in Detroit, I’ll fly up for it. Also, elizabeth, you’re a badass! You will always be a badass. You’ve got this!! It will be weird at first but it will all work itself out as it should. This may sound strange, but congratulations! Congrats on your new life. Onward!
That's quite an upheaval. On the other hand, you sound as though you have a good line up of adventures planned, so I'm sure you'll come out better for it on the other side. Good luck.
I think we’ll both be better for it in the end - but it’s gonna be rough for a bit. Grateful to have many awesome friends around to support and distract. Not sure how long it will take me to actually date again or if I’ll ever find a life partner type of deal.
The new home is fan-tas-tic. The neighborhood is quiet and green, we now have a GARDEN which is lovely (even though it'll stay 90% bricks until we tackle that project next year), and I get to bicycle everywhere through lush parks. After a lot of work, most of our stuff and furniture is now where it needs to be. The only two downsides are that money is evaporating at unforeseen rates and that the previous owner was good at fixing up rooms? But his pipework around the boiler was described today as 'dangerously amateurish'. $300 just to fix it so it's safe to operate... Opened my work email today for the first time in 5 weeks. I did a good enough job of handing shit over that I had 250 emails to breeze through of which only a dozen still require action.
4/10. A week ago I was supposed to climb a mountain via a rock route with somebody whom I hadn't met, but was well aware of as a lifelong climber in the area, and had communicated with via email in the past. Unfortunately the weather turned to rain and we were unable to climb and made different, separate plans. I ended up being able to climb that route the next day, he ended up taking the weekend to do what was supposed to be some easy hiking combined with scrambling and an overnight. Something happened, he fell, and he died. Meanwhile dating is kind of a nightmare. Gone on a few dates now and they're all maaaaybe 6/10. Just not feeling connection either physical attraction or through the conversation like there's anyone I'm wanting to go on a 2nd date with. Been "ghosted" once, which is what it is. But the whole thing kind of sucks. It's much worse than it was in early 2019 when I was last single. Wonder how much the pandemic has to do with that. Or maybe it's just me being a few years older and in a different place in life. Feeling kind of similar to where I was at in 2016 where now that I've moved a couple of times, probably best to find myself a community again and really be a part of that through the running clubs and climbing gyms in Seattle since most of my friends and community are 45-60 minutes away and feel much farther away.
Ah fuck. Really sorry to hear about his passing. I know you hadn't met him but I'm sure there was plenty of connection through what you both loved to do and were planning on. A part of me wonders if I could handle the dating scene these days. I met my partner via Tinder in late 2016, we were together early 2017, and have a house together now. And a cat. The cat is the really important part. But .. I recall enjoying the initial dating phase, learning about someone new, that emotional spice where things click. Wondering if they would click. I think it'd hate it now, aside from probably comparing everyone to my hypothetical ex, I don't think I'd have it in me for flings and one nighters these days.
You can't pretend that this stuff doesn't have an element of danger or that people aren't going to die. But 4 people in 2 years is...a lot...thanks. The dating part is awful, I think some of it is coming out of a 3 year relationship I am not very sharp at even flirting with new people and going through that whole song and dance. And I don't really know if I even want to? I am so busy with hobbies from running to climbing to skiing that it's like...I can just keep doing those things and having just as good of a time. But that's also how you end up 45 and single (I am far away from 45 years old).
It's only been a few months since the breakup, yeah? Coupled with shifting to a new place, trying to get settled into everything - I'm not surprised you're not in the right mindset for it! Same hobbies but a new area might mean you wind up meeting someone organically? Either way, I feel you. The feelings you're describing make a lot of sense!
- Work: Completing work to the best of my abilities while attempting to extricate myself from the area as smoothly as possible. It's performance review time, so I'm gathering all the excellent feedback from people (most are aware of my situation) to be directly inserted into the review. If I have to stick around a while longer, I want that pay rise to compensate. - Life: Almost a year in our house. Spring has arrived in NZ, so time to plot the garden and get stuck in. We have more space than we know what to do with at the moment, which means I get to plant but also build some new beds or install a shed or something. Empty space. Lots of potential. Interest rates have been climbing, but we're not in panic mode. We re-fix late next year so will go over out options closer to the time. My brother and his fiancée had their baby (Cooper) in July, I'm yet to meet the critter but I'll head up the island this month to finally see him. Looking forward to that! - Books: Currently reading Jade City by Fonda Lee, I think I like it. Slow to start but I'm enjoying the journey. Recently finished The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, a nice change of pace to my usual reading. Wholesome, funny, slice-of-life. While on holiday in June I started and finished John Gwynne's Shadow of the Gods and Hunger of the Gods and now I just need the third book to arrive so I can get on with my life.. - Games: Finished Cult of the Lamb, been playing Risk of Rain 2 with friends and that's a good amount of silly fun. Fiiiiinally started Disco Elysium and having an absolute blast with it. Occasionally dropping into Battlefield 2042/V depending on who's playing what, but my love of those games has gone since 2042 dropped. I don't even enjoy being 'good' at it anymore, it's just not fun. Aforementioned friends are gathering online this Friday for a Phasmophobia night, beers and spooks. - Writing: Working on my big, big, big project (it'll take like.. a long time). But also have been tinkering with a bunch of horror short-stories. I've completed about 7 of them so far, and I've been using single word prompts and challenges to make things interesting. - Health: Haven't had a panic attack since 2018. Proud of that! I cancelled my gym membership, sucks to lose the social aspect but I do visit occasionally just to say hi. I've slowly built a home gym in the garage and while it's expensive to start, the equipment should last the better part of a lifetime so, in a few years things will be paying for themselves.
I did have an on-going hubski post in a word doc from about two weeks ago that went through learning I wasn’t going to hear back from the employer I previously traded jobs from, despite emphatic thanks and mentioning a spot if things didn’t work out. There was also developments in there like paying for/going through commercial drone pilot certification (which was one of the false promises from the most recent employers) ‘cuz it’s something I’ve been wanting to learn. And on top of those, something about being excited to really get my hands dirty through PostgreSQL – finally piecing together a web app from this site to 3D data-enriched, interactive visualization through NASA’s open-source Google Earth Pro for developers. Finally, in the good news department, I’ll be an author on published research as of the end of the year. Since then, I’ve stalled fairly hard, lost the much longer word document, and having a hard time looking for a job of interest in my area for my current field (hence the drone pilot school). The S/O and I acknowledged that our town isn’t the best for career development… and its clear she’s fine with that. Me, not so much, but would rather secure a gig in the meantime to replenish savings before re-opening that conversation. For better or worse, there’s a non-negligible amount of items to unpack in said discussion, to top it off. All-in-all, the September hasn’t been the sweetest of starts.
I wanted to put this in a separate post - this came across my YouTube desk.
Got my spiral staircase for the back deck, and am painting it to match the house. Will install on Saturday with a friend's help. Wife's car is in the shop to get some damage fixed from a fender-bender (not her fault) back at Christmas. So she's driving my Chevy Volt, and I'm riding my motorcycle, which has sit, sad and forlorn, in the carport for far too long. Today got up to about 80 MPH on the freeway, and it was SO HAPPY to just chug along. 1300 cc's of deep grunt and torque likes 80 MPH just fine, thankyouverymuch. While the wife was out of town for a week, I kinda went nutz on the food, and had a lot of "special" things I rarely eat... but had them pretty much every day. A cupcake this day. A hoagie that day. A piece of pie another day. Mozzarella cheese sticks another day.... and suddenly I'm up 10lbs and have had to let out my belt another notch. Whoops.