Gin is for people who think alcohol consumption warrants additional punishment
Wine is for assholes
Craft beer is for assholes who can't appreciate wine
Whiskey is for assholes who can't appreciate wine but want to get really fucked up
Cinnamon whiskey is for people who might drink Scope mouthwash
Vodka is for people with serious addictions. It's ideally watered down grain alcohol. Top shelf vodka is a myth as a result
MD 20/20 is for desperate winos. Also people who don't appreciate wine. Also hipsters
I can keep going but I wonder why I started in the first place
Mead is for unemployed theatre majors and bad poets and is only appropriate whenconsumed at a jousting match.
But don't you think most of the customers have at least tried making their own? It's way simpler than beer, and even if it's bad at first it is usually drinkable once it has been forgotten in a closet.
I drink gin and whiskey because I feel guilty about being an asshole. Tequila is sipped by druglords and during evenings that will contain mistakes.
Bill Cosby used to have a bit in his stage act, where he demonstrated the different kinds of drunks... they way they walk, the way they hold their glass, the way they talk... it was from the late 1960's or early 1970's. Fuckin' hilarious. But Cosby is a Bad Man now, so we can't laugh at his work any more.
Jager and rumpleminz are for college students and masochists. The two mixed together are for the deeply depressed and suicidal. I don't really have much of an opinion. I was a bartender for about 3 years of my life at craft cocktail bar and dives and a brew assistant at a brewery for a year during that time. Surprises me how apathetic I've become about alcohol. Miller Lite/High Life and well/call whiskey does me just fine when i do partake. Every once in a while I'll get a Rye Manhattan or the house spin on an Old Fashioned if it sounds good.
Gin has changed in recent years, here at least - there's been a massive boom. Now it's for girls who want to look more sophisticated and have it instead of vodka and coke, who think having it in a goldfish bowl will make them "classier" and pretend they can taste the difference underneath the elderflower tonic they've drowned it in. Guinness is also a drink that people will use to pretend they're connoisseurs and maintain that it has to be topped after specifically 142 seconds for the perfect pint. But I think Odder hits the nail on the head; drinking what you like doesn't make you a gobshite, but talking about it as if that's what makes you interesting does. "Claret is the liquor for boys, port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero, must drink brandy." - Samuel Johnson
I bring cinnamon whiskey with me in a flask on mountaineering trips :(
Mescal is for Mexicans and people that want to tell you all about how it's so different from Tequila. When people pull out the Samogon (aka Russian Moonshine), it's sign it's time to call it a night. four loko is the drink of insane people or soon to be puking 15 year olds.
I drank it as an adult to see what it was. Adding yeast to juice is a bad idea. It's a very popular bad idea. Juice that fucks you up is an ever expanding market. What specific law requires it to be malted, I don't know. Pour a little grain alcohol into a Pepsi, sell that and save a bunch of people stomach cramps, please.
Hey, now! Mezcal is to tequila what brandy is to cognac - it's a less restrictive appellation which means you get a much broader spectrum of flavor. Of course across most of the US the only one you can get is Monte Alban so it's kind of like comparing every cognac available to like B&B, except with a worm in it for some reason.
Yeah! It’s just that Mezcal has been having a massive popularity swing recently. Running the tours I do, I find most of the non-Mexican people don’t know what it is. But the ones that do know, love to talk about how different it is from tequila. And how much better it is. Gin had its time, now it’s all about the Mescal.
i legitimately enjoy piss-beer and i feel targeted by all sides whenever i see discussions of alcohol on the internet it just tastes like slightly alcoholic carbonated water and i like carbonated water is this so wrong, world
Radlers and shandies are both things over here. They're the rebranding of wine coolers. Miller discovered they owned an old, underperforming brewery by the name of Leinenkugel (which, amusingly, had previously purchased Blatz) so they made them produce "summer shandy." It's fuckin' Bartles & Jaymes minus the food coloring.
my dad loves leinenkugels really makes you think eh
they don't ring a bell for me but that doesn't mean much i don't really drink anything except water other than maybe once every other week or so and my default special occasion drink is ginger ale and not beer
Pilsners are a tie with Belgians, for me. Pilsner Urquell, yessir. Most of my other faves are local microbrews. My girl and I just finished our first batch of homebrew, a “Pilsner”, and it’s an abomination. We’re both beer snobs, luckily, it’s not just me.
We just had a $100 starter kit and followed their recipe. My biggest transgression was buying distilled water, which I thought would be a safer bet than spring water, until we tasted some of the water after brewing and realized that it tasted weird. Turns out that we’re conditioned to prefer the taste of minerals. Makes total sense. I’m dumb.
You know what’s funny ? There’s so many Europeans that rag on our light “piss” beer this side of the world but they love that shit, they order round after round. Or maybe I just serve the most unself aware people you’ll ever meet. One was surprised I was Canadian because I looked beautiful in a European way, he thought it was wild that Canada was full of Canadian women who were beautiful in a European way. Probably drank some “piss” beer after that.
I love that there's an IPA called "palate wrecker", at least they're not pulling any punches
I guess it tastes less like ash when you’re smoking cigars in tandem. I’ve done that a handful of times and always found it enjoyable, but I was always in great company, so disentangling the sensation from the circumstances is difficult. Some IPAs are mildly enjoyable, but I worry that I just like high ABV beers. Belgians, MMMMmmmmmmmm
There's a lot of shit sours out there. But give me a good Flanders red or Gose and I'll more than happily drink it.
I agree with bfx. There are some sours that I enjoy, but I can't ever drink more than one. Pilsners or lagers, though? Line 'em up.