If you harassing my barrista, waiter, cashier you will get a helping of "go fuck yourself, you inhumane piece of shit" with your coffee, meal or purchase. For some reason people tolerate rudeness in many situations, but if someone (me) calls em out on it, the earth totters on its axis. You can see the eyes roll when someone abuses a waiter, but when I turn to the rude patron and point out that they are harassing someone who will soon touch the food they are about to eat, you can see the patrons become agitated and upset. When a person tries to order a 16oz cappuccino at the world famous coffee house two blocks form my residence and the barista politely tells them that they would be happy to make a foamy latte, but that they can't make a 16oz cappuccino (such a drink can not exist, it is a physical impossibility). And the customer gets irate, starts and argument causing delay for every other customer in line, and I tell the hillbilly coffee drinker to order a damn foamy latte or get the hell out of line, everyone but the barista looses their cool. I will admit that acting in opposition to such rudeness has got me free booze and coffee, but it's not why I do it. I just find it intolerable to say nothing. Consensus is that I was out of line when I told a person buying $21 dollar a pound cheese with food stamps that they were welcome, but I will continue to speak my mind, steeping out of my car to critique drivers in no uncertain terms why they are idiots while at the intersection (I always returning to my car before the light changes). Rudeness is spreading like a disease, tending bar I have realized that "HEY" has been substituted for "pardon me," sometimes it just becomes too much. Just so you know, if you yell "HEY" at me while tending bar, you will be the last person at my bar to be served.
My wife is one of the people in the crowd that would say nothing. When a situation like this arises, she immediately looks at me and says "don't say anything". Why shouldn't I? I know half the cafe is thinking the same thing. People are too passive. Being assertive is the only way to be. At least 3 times in my life I have had to step out of a movie theater to tell mgmt that the sound was off. If I didn't, I swear people would have just watched an entire movie in silence! Anyways, I gave you a shout out in my description of this post. Thought it as kind of funny.
http://hubski.com/pub?id=3261
You must be kidding me. I had one person flash me an exacto knife in subway when asked to please move over so I could take an (available) seat. Social norms are only effective in context of social consensus (or enforcement). Let's face it: we live in a rude and selfish society these days. A polite request only computes in a polite society. The person making the polite inquiry expects social support. So if that guy instead of shaking his head had politely asked the sociopath in question to "would you please lower your voice?", it would not be a surprise that he would then be subjected to a rude, loud, and personal attack by the said sociopath with little expectation of social support from other patrons. (Unless cgod is in the room, in which case ... ;P) One ex: Just try walking in a straight line on sidewalks in NYC. Impossible. I used to be able to walk from WallStreet to MorningSide without bumping into a single person, and we were all zipping. These days can't traverse a lousy block without having to do slalom around sidewalk hogers. (And it is not merely the tourist or the "unwashed" -- in fact, this pattern now includes the "educated" class as well. I swear they are all still mentally and socially walking up and down the high school corridors.)