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comment by cgod
cgod  ·  4863 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Jeff Tweedy: People Talking During Concert
I get so incredibly angry when people talk over a show that I am really excited to be at. The first time I say "I'm sorry, but would you mind going outside to chat, I came here to see a show."

The second time I usually lose it and say something along the lines of "Pardon brother, but could you shut your bitch up." puff up and stand my tallest 6'2".

If they haven't moved by that point I get behind them and spit in their hair. I've never had anyone notice that I did it, it lessens my rage enough to almost tune out the assholes and focus on the music.





AhimMoonchowsen  ·  4863 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I've been annoyed several times at shows due to talking. Never to the point if "spitting in someones hair" though. -That's kinda messed up cgod. Deep breathes :)
cgod  ·  4862 days ago  ·  link  ·  
Was thinking about my behavior in this post and realized it pretty much generalized in my life.

If you harassing my barrista, waiter, cashier you will get a helping of "go fuck yourself, you inhumane piece of shit" with your coffee, meal or purchase.

For some reason people tolerate rudeness in many situations, but if someone (me) calls em out on it, the earth totters on its axis. You can see the eyes roll when someone abuses a waiter, but when I turn to the rude patron and point out that they are harassing someone who will soon touch the food they are about to eat, you can see the patrons become agitated and upset.

When a person tries to order a 16oz cappuccino at the world famous coffee house two blocks form my residence and the barista politely tells them that they would be happy to make a foamy latte, but that they can't make a 16oz cappuccino (such a drink can not exist, it is a physical impossibility). And the customer gets irate, starts and argument causing delay for every other customer in line, and I tell the hillbilly coffee drinker to order a damn foamy latte or get the hell out of line, everyone but the barista looses their cool.

I will admit that acting in opposition to such rudeness has got me free booze and coffee, but it's not why I do it. I just find it intolerable to say nothing.

Consensus is that I was out of line when I told a person buying $21 dollar a pound cheese with food stamps that they were welcome, but I will continue to speak my mind, steeping out of my car to critique drivers in no uncertain terms why they are idiots while at the intersection (I always returning to my car before the light changes).

Rudeness is spreading like a disease, tending bar I have realized that "HEY" has been substituted for "pardon me," sometimes it just becomes too much. Just so you know, if you yell "HEY" at me while tending bar, you will be the last person at my bar to be served.

thenewgreen  ·  4862 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I used to be a bartender/wait tables and it made me realize that everybody should have to do so for at least once in their life. It fosters empathy for all service industries. I was eating in a cafe with my wife the other day and a woman several tables over was loudly talking on her cell phone. The guy at the table next to her staired at her shaking his head with his fingers in his ears. -Was he right to be annoyed? Absolutely. Could he have communicated this more effectively? Absolutely. My point is that the "politeness" that you see as an increasing void in society exists on both sides of a situation. These days not only is the loud cellphone lady rude but the guy next to her is too. "Pardon me miss, would you mind either not speaking on your cell phone so loudly or perhaps just not speaking on it al all"? -This would be a better response.

My wife is one of the people in the crowd that would say nothing. When a situation like this arises, she immediately looks at me and says "don't say anything". Why shouldn't I? I know half the cafe is thinking the same thing. People are too passive. Being assertive is the only way to be. At least 3 times in my life I have had to step out of a movie theater to tell mgmt that the sound was off. If I didn't, I swear people would have just watched an entire movie in silence!

Anyways, I gave you a shout out in my description of this post. Thought it as kind of funny. http://hubski.com/pub?id=3261

alpha0  ·  4861 days ago  ·  link  ·  
"a better response".

You must be kidding me. I had one person flash me an exacto knife in subway when asked to please move over so I could take an (available) seat.

Social norms are only effective in context of social consensus (or enforcement). Let's face it: we live in a rude and selfish society these days. A polite request only computes in a polite society. The person making the polite inquiry expects social support. So if that guy instead of shaking his head had politely asked the sociopath in question to "would you please lower your voice?", it would not be a surprise that he would then be subjected to a rude, loud, and personal attack by the said sociopath with little expectation of social support from other patrons. (Unless cgod is in the room, in which case ... ;P)

One ex: Just try walking in a straight line on sidewalks in NYC. Impossible. I used to be able to walk from WallStreet to MorningSide without bumping into a single person, and we were all zipping. These days can't traverse a lousy block without having to do slalom around sidewalk hogers. (And it is not merely the tourist or the "unwashed" -- in fact, this pattern now includes the "educated" class as well. I swear they are all still mentally and socially walking up and down the high school corridors.)

thenewgreen  ·  4861 days ago  ·  link  ·  
They are all still mentally walking up and down the high school corridors -So true. As for the guy in the cafe asking the "sociopath" to lower her voice, he would have had support. That is what my "movie theater" analogy was meant to convey. We are all thinking it, it just takes someone to actually DO it. You are likely right that the woman on the phone would have not responded well, but sometimes.... once in a blue-moon people surprise you when you approach a potential conflict with some well intentioned civility. And this rare occurrence is what makes the effort still worth while. IMO.
thenewgreen  ·  4861 days ago  ·  link  ·  
It's worth noting that I'm NOT in NYC but rather Raleigh-Durham NC and the "control group" I'm working with in this experiment may be slightly different than yours.
alpha0  ·  4861 days ago  ·  link  ·  
Just give it time ...
thenewgreen  ·  4862 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
steve  ·  4862 days ago  ·  link  ·  
I dunno... I think I dislike people singing at a concert more than people talking. The drunken a$$clowns singing along (badly and off-key) give me fits of rage. Don't get me wrong... the chit chat is ridiculous - borderline inexcusable. But the singing along only inspires the phrase: "Hey Fu@#monkey! I paid $60 to see the dude on the stage sing - not your ugly mug".

unfortunatley - them's fightin' words to a drunken fan. and it never ends well.

thenewgreen  ·  4862 days ago  ·  link  ·  
There are two types of "singers". The ones that instinctively know when it's appropriate and those that don't. As mr. Tweedy references in the clip, some songs are indeed "sing alongs", others have moments in them when the crowd just knows that a certain line is theirs to emphasize along with the artist. -these types of concert goers are wonderful to be around as they "get" that you are one as an audience participating with the artist(s). The annoying ones are the people that feel the need to prove to everyone within ear shot that they know every lyric. -dude, we don't care.

That being said, I do like to quietly sing harmonies under my breath at some shows. -I make sure it's only a head voice though, promise. I'm going to see Wilco soon and I can't wait.