I just have to wonder, what is with the continued harassment and trolling via community hastags? Also, does everyone have me muted or blocked because I follow Grendel? I always thought highly of the Hubski community, but it's been extremely passive aggressive lately. Also, as a gay man who has done "online dating," the first thing I look for, or ask about, is stats, aka height and weight. I use quotes because already being in an open relationship, it's not so much dating that I'm interested in, just sex. I don't think any less of non-hwp people as friends, but I just don't find extra cushion to be a sexual turn-on.
I have noticed the same thing. Someone even went so far as to suggest that I was Grendel's alt account lol. I have been blocked or muted simply for expressing my opinion by people like kleinbloo (can't remember how his name is spelled). "You disagree so I don't want to see it." Seems to be the new way here as contrary as that is to the entire point of the intellectual community this is supposed to be.
I tend to take a middle of the road approach and admit that if people want to be passive aggressive and block/mute for no reason other than "You've said something I disagree with!" that is certainly their right. To me, I think it reflects poorly on the community as a whole; I understand and respect someone for muting or blocking a person after a confrontation where both parties are at least aware and understand what caused the breakdown of communication, but just being muted out of the blue certainly feels very insulting. I can't even apologize to someone like that when I don't even know what to apologize for. My intention is to never be unkind or dishonest to anyone, so it is a strange feeling to say the least. I've been mostly lurking for a long time here, and the community does tend to be very insular. C'est la vie, it's one of hubski's greatest strengths and weaknesses in my opinion. If you notice, most people don't like talking about #mute since I think the established members want to reserve the right to silently shun the people they don't like. I have been blocked or muted simply for expressing my opinion by people like kleinbloo (can't remember how his name is spelled). "You disagree so I don't want to see it."
Totally agree with this whole reply. It is their right to do so but they can't silence someones opinion and then taking about how differing opinions are important to a conversation. It makes no sense at all and I see it all the time.
I'm of the opinion that sexuality is inherently objectifying, so it doesn't surprise me in the least to find out that women have their own standards of beauty that they apply to potential boyfriends. It's not even a case of those standards being "unfair" because it's in women's genes to prefer tall men. They can't exactly choose to like short guys any more than men can choose to like fat chicks. What annoys me is how we only blame men for being shallow. We shouldn't blame anyone for having a physical preference, but we could at least be fair in how we assign the blame. Anyway, what does "non-hwp people" mean? I've never heard that before. And yeah, some Hubski users have decided that they're going to do everything in ther power to remind me that I'm not welcome here. Not content with muting and slandering me, now they want me to leave. Since I'm still here and we've muted/blocked each other, they have to resort to these tactics. I've already told mk about the abuse of community hashtags a couple of weeks ago, and he said that if it becomes an issue, they will make tags non-anonymous. I doubt that it will prevent my fans from abusing them, however, since they've proven to be quite shameless in their affection towards me. I wonder what would happen if I started tagging all their threads with personal messages. Would it become an issue then? Muting someone simply because he follows a user you don't like is something an intolerant and close-minded person like me would do, but surely Hubski is above that... But then again one of my followers was recently asked by a certain user if he was actually me using an alternate account. Apparently he agreed with me a little too much! So who knows, you might be paying the price for not following the right users, or maybe you just made the mistake to disagree with the wrong users. I feel sorry for you, at least I know why I'm being ostracised.Also, does everyone have me muted or blocked because I follow Grendel?
And now that user has responded to my not namimg him saying that I should have named him when I didn't name him out of respect. What's most funny about it is that he says that we contribute in no way and only harm discussion. I don't know about you Grendel but I haven't seen you make any point that isn't directed toward changing (or at least making people aware of) something that you see is unfair. It's not about hating on feminists. It's about how it has been turned into "men are bad and will hurt you and shame on men for doing the same things we do to them." What I don't get is that if a woman comes on and says stuff about how men are being bigoted towards women it's cool and everyone cheers them on for being so brave. But of a man complains about women being bigots he is immediately ostracized or people just ignore it. I find this double standard astounding. How can someone complain about a double standard and then perpetuate their own double standard. It's quite literally insane. Side note I will still not be relinquishing the persons name or of respect for that person's personal beliefs.
My personal view is that sexual preferences are confusing mix of instinct, biology and culture, perhaps something random in there too. Like you say, it maybe fun or easy, or in today's feminist vogue, to criticize men for having physical preferences, but everyone has them, men and women, and I think it's important to keep things in perspective; that the love and happiness from a partner in a long-term relationship requires qualities that go beyond being skin-deep, and in fact, people who only look skin-deep will likely miss potential soulmates. HWP stands for height-width proportionate, so non-hwp is my polite way of saying chubby people. I personally don't care if someone is tall or short, thick or thin, but flabby is something I try to avoid when it comes to sex. I'm sure it would, but please don't. It's best to stay above the fray as much as possible; people already accuse you of trolling enough as is, I don't think it's wise to give them ammunition by trolling them back, even if it is to make a point. Eh, it's fine. If it makes them feel better, I suppose that is what they need. I don't think I've really lost anything of value by learning who the more easily offended judgy-types are.Anyway, what does "non-hwp people" mean? I've never heard that before.
I wonder what would happen if I started tagging all their threads with personal messages. Would it become an issue then?
So who knows, you might be paying the price for not following the right users, or maybe you just made the mistake to disagree with the wrong users. I feel sorry for you, at least I know why I'm being ostracised.
Interesting article on the double standards that women can have against the physical traits in men. I wonder however, what percentage of the women on that dating site said things like "Don't bother if you're under 6ft"? There can't be that many women who dislike short men, can there?
Probably about as many men who don't like heavy women.
Women in general like tall men, I think that's common knowledge. I don't know how many would refuse to date a short guy or how common it is for girls to explicitly express this preference on dating sites, though. According to this article it happens a lot.Steve Penner, the previous owner of a Boston-based dating service, says he heard it all the time. "It is common for many women to insist that any man they date must be "at least" four to six inches taller," he says.