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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3586 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 28, 2015

/r/relationship advice: break up with the fuck!

My advice: I don't think you're being particularly unreasonable, nor bitchy. I have more thoughts but I gotta take a quiz, brb.

Edit: Quiz owned, moving on:

    He clearly feels like he can break up with me if I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do, so I'm fuckin' tired of feeling like I have to repeatedly do shit he wants to do that I don't want to do in order to make him happy.

Fuuuuck that noise. A girl I know is like that, as well. She would use friendship as a sort of leverage to prevent herself from receiving any constructive criticism, or attempting to do something she didn't want to do. She always wanted things to be peachy-keen with us, which meant never broaching a subject that could ever be considered negative. But you can't have sunshine and rainbows while having zero communication at the same time. Sometimes I just don't want to do a thing you want to do, or like a thing that you do, and if it's something that's big enough for me to broach the subject, I wouldn't consider it a minor issue. You can't hold a relationship/friendship hostage.

    We only hang out 1-2 nights a week, why can't he hang out with his friends the other nights? That's what I do, i don't drag him out to chill with my friends, and I still manage to see them enough when he's not around.

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ANNOYING. I had a friend who was like that, and we were the friends in that situation. We'd invite him over, he'd show up, girlfriend in tow...like, we invited you, dude, not you and your girlfriend. You don't have to be conjoined at the hip. Now we're gonna play Smash, and she's gonna harp about how games are so super super silly. Granted, she was perfectly nice when I did see her, but we literally had zero in common and it made things very awkward. You can't just force a square peg in a round hole like that, all you do is break it.

You don't need to assimilate into a Social Circle that you aren't apart of. In fact, I consider that a plus - a coworker of mine was with her boyfriend for three years, and that couple and their group of friends was very close. But THEN there was a messy breakup, everybody sided on her boyfriend's side, and she felt friendless for a whole summer. It was super crappy. It's better to keep things separated in that sense, in my opinion.

Analysis Complete. Results: Rant justified, negative feelings towards yourself unjustified. You're not being a bitch, you just want something.