I think the word "covet" is key to the idea Dr. Vaillancourt is trying to express. "To covet" is a vastly different idea than "to value", "to desire" or "to want" as it conveys an unsavory and darker air. I would say that sex is a drive that all sexually reproductive organisms share, but I personally think that covetousness is outside of the capabilities of something like ants or weasels. That said, I don't particularly agree that Dr. Vaillancourt's statement rings true for men in general. Naturally, men (like women) desire sex and desire sex with desirable partners (duh) but her statement seems overly simplified and a bit flip, especially when she follows that statement with ideas about power dynamics. Men use sex to gain power too, though generally in a different way than women do, because men and women have different sexual roles within their societies and often different avenues to power. Edit: I just realized that I posted this article a while ago, except the link I posted ends a little differently. All that damn junk at the end . . .
Sure, but I was making the point that men and women both "covet" sex and use it as a position of power -- which you went on to say in the rest of your post. So, very true.I think the word "covet" is key to the idea Dr. Vaillancourt is trying to express. "To covet" is a vastly different idea than "to value", "to desire" or "to want" as it conveys an unsavory and darker air. I would say that sex is a drive that all sexually reproductive organisms share, but I personally think that covetousness is outside of the capabilities of something like ants or weasels.
You're right, I did just quote myself. That was a line from a poem I wrote long ago, in a province far away. I have never ever had a reason to say it since or even think of it until I read your line above. humanodon I would so love to see that as a fortune cookie.
I don't think what you're saying disagrees with what I wrote. Sometimes "available" or "accessible" = desirable, you know, somewhat like how financial stability or a great personality can trump physical attractiveness. Desire is not a clear cut thing, after all.
Guess I'm conflating desirable with attractive. I once hooked up with a not-so-attractive woman in a ladies bathroom on the Upper East Side. I would in no way consider her desirable by the light of day, but I suppose at the time--when I was probably 15 beers deep and it was 3 am--that's what I 'desired', so to speak. Still I think desirable is a loaded word that implies something positive.
I see what you're saying. For me, desirable seems more dispassionate than say, attractive, but I think they're both right there in that zone. I think I've read that beer goggles are a real phenomenon, so yeah. I mean, if enough alcohol is added to a situation, all kinds of stuff seems like a good idea, but I think that might have something to do with removing enough inhibitions that our base urges come out, well, naked. Sometimes a body just feels the urge to stick into another person.Still I think desirable is a loaded word that implies something positive.
I once hooked up with a not-so-attractive woman in a ladies bathroom on the Upper East Side. I would in no way consider her desirable by the light of day, but I suppose at the time--when I was probably 15 beers deep and it was 3 am--that's what I 'desired', so to speak.