I think I have an important bit to add here. I must say I understand what you're saying and I've quite surely been there (of course ,I don't mean I know everything you're feeling exactly, but from what you're describing we have similar mindsets), and this is a very real, valid thought. But after a short while, especially after I really got deep into philosophy- particularly existentialism and things similar- I think I've climbed and now crossed All-This-Shit-Sucks Mountain. A lot of my friends have been telling me that I am very easily amused nowadays. This may seem funny/stupid but in reality I think it's because I've become intensely appreciative of certain things. Details. Fleeting moments, a specific stroke in a painting or the eyes of a girl that meets mine. The smell of fresh air after the rain, and the saturated tone of a leaf sticking to the wet ground. A single note or riff in a song can send shivers down my spine, and people/things that are usually ugly at a first glance catch my attention and sometimes leave me staring. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I got high for the first time last month, and it was on a very concentrated form of dabs. That helped, but it certainly isn't all it. I think it's easy to complain. It's easy to hate, it's easy to want to die. I'll be honest, we have every reason to die. But while you're living, while you're here, taking a moment to love and appreciate what you already love and appreciate really, really helps. And from there, you can start to find other things to love as well. I love tricep muscles, piano key mechanisms, the intricacy of gothic cathederals, and girls in sweatpants. I guess what I'm saying is, find everything you love, not just one thing, and stick to that shit.
Mind posting some links? I've hit a roadblock recently and would like some possibly new material to look at. I'v never been high and never plan to. Though your comment reminds me of other people who get high and then comment online. That little snippet read similarly. I was thinking the exact opposite. Most people seem to be happy-go-lucky and like literally anything I show them. If I think it sucks or is okay they'll usually love it. If i show them what I particularly like they either think it's the best thing ever or completely hate it. As for death, I don't think most people want to die. According to surveys, most people have never had the thought cross their minds. And I personally don't want to die, just be somewhere else. I don't really "love" anything. Never have. Lusted, sure. Enjoyed, totally. Liked? yup. Never loved though. Not one single thing. Be it person, experience, or thing. I threw around the word a lot when I was younger, but I realize that I didn't actually love anything that I said it towards. It was more of an immediate want/like. As I just mentioned I have yet to find anything like that. But things I enjoy are few and far between as well. Most things are obscure. My music I like have 10-50 listeners on Last.FM. The anime I watch is a bit more popular. As for just general things I like/would like to see more of, they virtually don't exist. Only in obscure places on the internet. And that's if I'm lucky. A lot of stuff I enjoy can't physically exist due to the laws of nature. I've surrounded myself with stuff I enjoy. That doesn't seem to be the problem. The problem is boredom. And socializing. I've grown tired of the things I enjoy, as they don't bring me anything new. And I can't discuss my thoughts or opinions with people as most people don't seem to care to. And 99% of the time I open my mouth (to anyone mind you) I'm ignored.especially after I really got deep into philosophy- particularly existentialism and things similar
Maybe it's because I got high for the first time last month, and it was on a very concentrated form of dabs.
I think it's easy to complain. It's easy to hate, it's easy to want to die.
But while you're living, while you're here, taking a moment to love and appreciate what you already love and appreciate really, really helps.
And from there, you can start to find other things to love as well.
I guess what I'm saying is, find everything you love, not just one thing, and stick to that shit.
Have you tried creating something on your own? If so, and if it hasn't gone well, you should really try again. You have ideas of things that appeal to you, even though as you said they might not exist, or aren't reachable. I think someone like you has the perfect potential of original production, especially if there aren't many people that you know that are like you. I dont necessarily mean art, either. I would love ;) to see some stuff, no matter how big or small, you might've created. Also, I will get you those links on philosophy, my club's facebook group has some great stuff.I've grown tired of the things I enjoy, as they don't bring me anything new. And I can't discuss my thoughts or opinions with people as most people don't seem to care to. And 99% of the time I open my mouth (to anyone mind you) I'm ignored.
Yea, I've definitely created quite a bit of things. Mostly just a lot of small test things. As I mentioned in my comments, I'm quite interested in video games and anime. And I've been this way since I was young as well. I was maybe 5 or 6 when I first started getting into computers. Around middle school I started learning how to program. And in high school I made a couple of (bad) games. More recently I've gotten one of my creations out to market (I worked with a small team). I have the link in my profile. It's a game called Q-Bitz and it's a puzzle platformer. I mostly just worked on the code (we had a single artist, and the idea was somewhat fleshed out by the time I joined). I've also made a few android apps. That's what I've been told, haha. There's an idea I have that I've been wanting to work on, and I've made a few failed attempts at it. But that idea is the reason why I stick around and work towards what I do. I'd like to see it completed :). yea.... I'm really bad at art. I don't know if it's just that I don't have the patience for it, or if it's a technical skill I'm lacking. I can come up with the image in my head, but can't get it down on paper. My little sister is good at drawing though. She constantly impresses me with stuff she drew. Awesome. I've mostly just been digging around websites and youtube videos and then finding similar content or expansions on certain ideas that came up. Thanks :)I think someone like you has the perfect potential of original production, especially if there aren't many people that you know that are like you.
I dont necessarily mean art, either.
Also, I will get you those links on philosophy, my club's facebook group has some great stuff.
Q-Bitz looks awesome :D Great concept. Keep creating, and be as proud of your failures as whatever you find to be a success, take it from Miles Davis, "There are no mistakes" ;) (this will not make sense if you don't know Miles Davis, going for a long shot here haha)
Perhaps that's part of the problem? Life does not exist in comfort, but in overcoming or resolving conflict. For me, surrounding myself with stuff I enjoy very much is the problem. I used to live a very comfortable life and in the end, it was boring. There are some days I wish I hadn't given it up, but I am working toward something new. I am working on changing the world I live in and not just for me, but so that it's a better place for other people too. Change is painful and not always a good thing, but in this universe we really have no choice. I disagree that people all secretly hate this place and want to escape. Why escape when one has opportunities to bend the world to one's will? The opportunities are not easy to find and not easy to take, but taking chances in life and following threads to new places is where the excitement is. If you're being ignored by the people you are currently interacting with, perhaps a change in your social circle might be good too. Everyone has a need to feel valued and acknowledged and an even greater need to feel important. These drives might seem pathetic, but many of the most successful people share these traits. From your comments, you seem to feel that there must be a point, or an objective to be accomplished. This is something that I don't subscribe to. I am alive and I am here to play. I am not suggesting that you don't take things seriously, but I am suggesting that it might be a good idea to play with your perceptions. There are so many amusing, fulfilling and worthwhile possibilities.I've surrounded myself with stuff I enjoy. That doesn't seem to be the problem. The problem is boredom.
That's such an interesting perspective... I have a few questions though. I don't understand. Why would you want to not be comfortable? Isn't that what nearly everyone is working for? To not be hungry. To have a nice house. To buy the latest gadgets and entertainment? You just stated that you didn't want to bend it to your will. That you don't want comfort. So why bend it then? And to answer your question, the point would be that there's no way in hell that it's possible to change that much of the world within the 60-100 years I have. You say that as if it's simple. In the 20 years I've been alive, I haven't found a single person that I find genuinely interesting. And most people I interact with don't care for what I say. Or are communicating with me because they need to for some reason. With no point or objective, there's literally no reason to do anything. Except for comfort/pleasure, which you just stated that "Life does not exist in". You state: "I am working on changing the world I live in and not just for me, but so that it's a better place for other people too." but that lacks a why. So they can help other people? If so, then it's just an endless chain of futile pointless work. I just can't see the logic behind all this. Don't live in comfort so you change the world for people who aren't you, in order for them to live in comfort which they shouldn't, so they can change the world for the next group of people? That makes no sense whatsoever.Life does not exist in comfort, but in overcoming or resolving conflict. For me, surrounding myself with stuff I enjoy very much is the problem.
Why escape when one has opportunities to bend the world to one's will?
If you're being ignored by the people you are currently interacting with, perhaps a change in your social circle might be good too.
From your comments, you seem to feel that there must be a point, or an objective to be accomplished. This is something that I don't subscribe to.
I never wrote that I don't want to be comfortable. All the things you mention are things that people feel they do not have at that point in their lives. This is not what I wrote. If you choose to read it in this fashion, by all means. It is simple. It is not easy. Simple and easy are different words with different, though often convergent meanings. So what? There are still things you can do. It's easy and very comfortable to sit back and criticize things. It takes real effort to feel alive. That's the point I'm making. You're 20 years old. That is really young to have everything all figured out. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd much rather live my way than yours.I don't understand. Why would you want to not be comfortable? Isn't that what nearly everyone is working for? To not be hungry. To have a nice house. To buy the latest gadgets and entertainment?
You just stated that you didn't want to bend it to your will. That you don't want comfort. So why bend it then? And to answer your question, the point would be that there's no way in hell that it's possible to change that much of the world within the 60-100 years I have.
You say that as if it's simple. In the 20 years I've been alive, I haven't found a single person that I find genuinely interesting. And most people I interact with don't care for what I say. Or are communicating with me because they need to for some reason.
With no point or objective, there's literally no reason to do anything.
I like your perspective on all this. Don't have anything to add really, but I fancy to agree with you. Edit: As an afterthought, I butchered that expression. I think I shall bend it to my will. bends expression ah, now it fits what I meant perfectly.