got the flu, got the blues

big hugs to my american friends, if the past is any indication we're probably not too far behind you here is canada. Justin's fallen out of favour and grasping at the straws of power hard.

Bought an apartment, I am moving in a month! Living the startup life, hopefully to break into Product Management soon as the first real career I'm actually interested in pursuing. Had a commitment to the promotion in a month as well - it's gonna be a wild December! My whole life fell appart 2 years ago - I spent one year soul searching and recovering and another one working hard towards my goals. Would really like to find love and be more active, but with the 2 above items I've been to overwhelmed to give it the energy it deserves. It's the next thing :) Feeling optimistic, things have been going well even if it's been stressful and hectic.

Did my class for a pyrotechnics license today. Keeping an eye out for the display fireworks one next. Applied for my PAL (guns) 2 months ago. Feels like i'm on a little license collecting streak. Maybe it's to compensate for my jobby-job. It's a startup, which doesn't feel too bad but in my entrepreneurial brain somehow it feels like a failure to actually enjoy a 9to5 like I am. Working through that cognitive dissonance while I learn as much as I can to become a Product Manager and earn the big tech buck, at least for a little while. The jump from the non-profit more than doubled my salary, and I'm on the lowest end of the payscale. It hilights how what we value in this world is so misaligned with financial incentives sometimes. This new job feels easier and less useful to the world. But better for me and my mental health. I gave myself the goal to stick it out for 2 years and see where that gets me, what paths it opens up. Feeling optimistic but also overwhelmed.

Been working my new tech job for 4 months now , and working on myself. Overall things are good. Something about right now feels like a new chapter. Onwards!

I had wet spot access for my post-event ranger shifts, but never actually went out of laziness. Got a shower during Gerlach patrol Monday and that felt great! What do you do to get wet spot access out there?

Still there, finally leaving tomorrow morning. Stayed post event for some rangering, it’s been a blast. My best year yet.

Let’s do this!

How did it go?

Sick! I’ve also just signed a contract for my new job at 2.5x my old salary. I like this theme. Never had this much money before, I’m tempted to sign up to all kinds of evening classes I could not afford before but can’t decide on what to pick. I want to do everything from juijitsu to coding to learning Spanish to ceramics to singing classes… an exiting problem to have!

The makerspace i was at definitely was a toxic place. My first replacement lasted 1 month, the second just quit after 8 months. There’s one employee left doing my past role and they are hiring 2 more people. Granted, the project is growing and they might just need more HR but I also remember how demanding the role was, without any sort of support. I had expressed how I felt unsupported, but they could not manage to find time to give me ONE 2h meeting a month, while I was essentially running the place. I’d go months without any sort of feedback and have to run after people to answer yes/no emails that would block my progress. I didn’t work a lot at all, only about 30h weeks. But I also essentially was always on call since the place was open 24/7 and there were classes every day. So essentially if there were any problems, I was the first person of contact. My boss would blame me when I’d push back against it, but at 25$/h… fuck that. It was so mentally draining I didn’t have time for anything else anyway.

I’m glad I got out of there. Fingers crossed I find a new job soon and it’s good for me. I have an interview in 2h, hopefully it’s the one!

Still no job, but I'm getting more promising interviews. It feels like people are finally coming back from vacation and being more responsive in the hiring process. I'll send out another batch of applications next week and then take a break. There are 2 jobs I interviewed for I feel I did well - but I am waiting for a reply. Got rejected for a role I found really interesting - but they decided not to fill the role at all and hire freelancers instead. So in a way it feels okay because it's more about the company not having the budget, not my abilities. I'm hopeful for fall being a good hiring season, I have gotten some good interview practice and have understood my options a lot better. Somehow, even after almost 3 months of trying I'm still feeling optimistic and confident. And when summer is over, ramping up my search efforts will yield more results.

Decided to go to Burning man after all - i'm a bit better off financially than i was expecting and I feel it will be a fun year for me. I have the whole event week free of responsibilities as i'm not going with a camp or signing up for any volunteering. Friends have offered to make things easy for me such as delivering me a box of things and my bike directly there - so I only have my personal things to manage! And then I'm staying 5 extra days to help the Rangers - which will be a super fun experience AND guarantee me a free ticket for next year again. I'm hoping to have a blast this year, and then potentially stop going every year unless there's a completely different way for me to re-live it. After going 5 times, I need a complete change in the way I participate every time to keep the experience rewarding.

Got the real interview for the job I was super interested in this Thursday! Fingers crossed I do well, I’ll need to prepare a bit but I’m excited.

Got one job offer I declined because it lacked future potential and seemed too easy. Feels like a waste jumping through a thousand hoops to reject the offer. Nothing promising on the horizon right now - I didn't get a call back from my previous pre-interviews yet (but there is one I am very interested in. It's nice to know there are cool jobs out there I can at least get pre-interviewed for). So it's time to ramp up the CV-sending. Next week, I'm volunteering for a startup fest. for a day, which gives me access to it for the whole week of networking. I feel like I do better in person and it's more fun than CV sending. Maybe something will come of this! Being a generalist with a massive diversity of experiences gives me confidence in my abilities but also makes it hard to pass the HR filtering.

Meh. It’s like wishing your local coffee shop was as popular as Starbucks. We can definitely handle more traffic, but also don’t think expansion is on the horizon.

I think the perception gap I need to close is between my professionalism and competence.

Had my first interview that came out of the job search today. I feel like I bombed it while also being over-qualified. Like the interviewer was talking down to me in certain moments. I definitely need the practice to appear more professional and on point to score interviews in higher level jobs and communicate I can do them effectively.

Congrats!

Looks like there's a theme here this week! I've applied to a job today, so the hunt is on. I think my resumés are looking good, the cover letter wrote itself today. Feeling hopeful i'll find something cool. I'm in dire need of money after my trip, so the balance between aiming high and finding sure things that will pay bills is gonna be tough. It's my first time going through a more traditional job search process, i've always just made my own companies or been hired through word of mouth before. Fingers crossed this torture won't last too long. Looking to completely change industries and roles so it might be an uphill batte at first. The north star is becoming a PM at a tech company. But that might take some years and also I might change my mind along the way. It feels like a really basic career aspiration honestly, but I want to dial back the weirdness a bit to find more traditional and secure employment for now.

Flying home on Saturday! I’m counting the days now, miss my friends and lover and home and I’m running out of money. I’m hoping this trip will have a lasting impact on my resilience - the ability to persevere through discomfort. It’s not quite the same as waking up at 6am to bike 10h but applying for jobs is going to be an uncomfortable grind I’m gearing for.

It’s good to be at the point where I’m tired of walking around exploring sights. Now I’m aching to work and be productive making things and projects.

Made it across Larkhe La Pass 5160m trek in Nepal! Gave up on the daily meditation halfway through - but had some amazing moments uptop a hill, listening to the sounds of birds and avalanches before that. I feel my hiking got much faster and stronger, got closer with my travel buddy and saw some truly beautiful views. Can’t wait for the hot shower and private room tomorrow. It’s been a trip of a lifetime.

We’re pretty set on the Manaslu hike in Nepal. Taking the plane tonight, starting the hike the 11th.

Got pre-rejected from a fun work gig cause I can’t work in the USA. But in the way they messaged me, sounds like I was short-listed for the interview process. At least it got me to do a nice re-edit of my CV!

Big freezing rain back at home, trees falling on cars and power lines and half the city without electricity. It looks beautiful tho.

Starting to miss people back home, but maybe it’s just that I’ve been idle in the past weeks. Once I’m in a new country exhausting myself hiking every day it will probably pass.

Considering attempting a 30-day meditation streak for the duration of my Nepali Visa and stay. Seems the kind of fitting wooowoo activity, and a good moment to give it a go. Just do a daily unguided 20-30 mins? My quick research of guided meditations only turns up shitty « increase your earning potential and self esteem » or « destress and fall asleep » ones that’s don’t feel right. Open to advice and suggestions if you have some - I’ve only attempted it sporadically a handful of times in the past, never more than 2 days in a row. I’m a complete beginner. Namaste my friends!

Finished up the bike touring - time to plan out the Nepal trip. Right now we are torn between doing the Manaslu trek and the 3 passes trek. Both have positives/negatives but in the end I know whichever one we pick will be good. I’m a little worried about being cold and altitude sick and tired from the heavy backpack and getting food poisoning and being dirty with limited laundry available. But the past month has given me confidence in my resilience so I welcome the challenge and know it’s going to be a worthwhile experience in the end.

I’m slowly making moves to set myself up for success at my return back home. Feeling motivated to focus on my career (something I have never done in my life ever) and invest into my health by exercising more. It’s finally dawning on me that by making plans and setting goals I stand a chance of getting something done. I think in the past I just never cared to, or didn’t know what I wanted well enough to try. I was happy to hop from one fun opportunity to the next, amassing experiences in the process. But now I’m wanting to leverage these experiences into something more than another funky gig. Ive always had an entrepreneurial mindset and have had moderate success in all the little projects I have attempted. But in my youthful naivety secretly hoped to luck upon some untapped goldmine in my attempts. I’ve uncovered some good plans, but they were all short lived as others start to clue in eventually. Excited for what’s to come and what the future holds for me now that I’ve chosen to make it my focus.

Mentally, I’m doing really good actually and the trip has been amazing for my breakup processing. It’s not something I think my ex would have enjoyed too much or that I would have done with him. So it’s cool to do something that I feel is my own. Still had a rough moment yesterday, hesitating between buying a ticket for a regional burn event in Ontario. We’ve always done the events together and now I don’t have a car to get there or even a tent. All common friends but also a ton of new fun people attending. I could find a tent and ride easily - but do I WANT to is the question. We’re on good very friendly terms. I can’t tell if I’ll regret going or not going more. I cried, made a pro/cons list and talked to my friend about it that offered me a spot in their camping area. Still can’t decide…

We only have 4 short biking days on the trip left to compete the Taiwan bike touring! It’s been really fun and exactly what I needed. Then we’re going to Nepal, but we’re out of luck because a new law has hat will force us to hire a guide. The law gets into effect 5 days before we get there. Found super cheap flights back, with a day stop in Abu Dhabi and a week in Italy.

About halfway through our biking trip! The last few days were flat and easy - we’re making better time and having lots of rest days because the cities are mostly on the west coast. There are harder days coming in the second part, with hills and headwind and more daily kms but I’m more confident now that it’s very doable.

I’ve been in a general good mood, reflecting about my past and future. There are still worries and regrets that bubble up but I feel like it’s getting better. Having lots of fun hypothetical conversations with my friends.

Jerome is convinced AI will lead to the end of the world within 10-20 years. AND that it’s statistically most likely we’re living in a simulation. It’s all wild and cooky ideas but he’s thought about it a lot so I don’t have any very convincing counter-arguments, just a general “naaaaah” feeling and loose ideas of why it doesn’t seem right. Mostly because it feels unlikely that the truth would align with our current zietgist of popular theories. But in the end we’re all in agreement that it doesn’t impact how we live our life so it’s just fun things to think about while we ride.

Another topic of recurrent debate is what’s “heathy” - and that’s easier to research on the spot with nutrition and stuff. Should we fast? Eat different color veggies? Is animal fat unhealthy? Etc…

We’re splitting hotel rooms, and it’s between 15-25$ per night per person. Not fancy but solid on the essential amenities like showers.

Convenience stores are everywhere with surprisingly decent food and space to eat and bathrooms.

So far, not very hilly but we’re only 1/4 done. I think the more hilly part is up ahead but since we’re not going inland we’re avoiding the big mountains. Cut out sunmoon lake because after our first few days it seemed too hard.

It’s not easy, but probably the easiest bike touring possible, perfect for a first trip.

First proper day of bike touring in Taiwan and I’m spent. We’re going about half the speed we hoped for or what is displayed on maps. So 5.5h turned into a 12h day (with stops and food). It’s gonna be brutal, but I still think it’s feasible. Maybe my sore body will disagree tomorrow. I guess we underestimated the difficulty of the trip. And I don’t remember last time I actually seriously exercised. The good thing is that Taiwan is the most convenient place ever. 711s with food and bathrooms about every 20 mins, and we can take an emergency train back anytime. So we’ll keep going and hopefully make better time by the end of it.

Got a good fortune at the temple that was very positive - that my life is on the “up and up”. I didn’t think it meant hills!

Classic timmies order is a double double (2 milk 2 sugar). I’m sure plenty people drink black. Fast and easy. Waiting 30 mins to order a black coffee at Starbucks feels dumb. I’ve often seen long ass drove through coffee lines n the morning and can’t fathom why people do it considering it’s longer and more expensive and worse than making your own… but I don’t drink coffee so i guess I just don’t understand. What did I just read, the pictures are terrible. “Here is plain joe with his cup of joe”.

Arrived in Taiwan and started to plan the bike touring! Loving Taipei so far - good weather, safe, clean and cheap here.

It’s so smooooth! Really enjoying your art you’ve posted on here.