Hi Hubski, new here and I grew up when the internet was booming and porn was prevalent. I've always wondered what people's first exposure to porn was and if they felt that it has affected them in any way. I finally decided to create an account here and ask since I feel like this is a much more mature community to ask these types of questions.
I commented on the first part of your question here in the thread, Ask Hubski users that hit puberty pre-internet: Do you remember finding your first "porn?". As for the second part of your question, I think that in some ways it really skewed my idea of what a baseline of sex between real people should be like, at least before I actually had sex. When I was about 20-23 I was a bit disappointed that most of my partners weren't as confident in participating as what I was used to seeing in porn, but as I moved away from girls of that age range and into the mid to late 20's and beyond, I found a shift in the confidence and participation of my partners and certainly in their requesting and directing the flow of the sex. That said, I still look at porn all the time. I know for many it's a cliche that guys are always thinking about sex and that many men don't operate like that at all, but for what it's worth I am one of those guys constantly thinking and fantasizing. Most of my girlfriends haven't liked that about me and I can understand where they're coming from. Generally this abates when I make it clear that I prefer the reality to the fantasy.
I believe I was 12 or 13 when I first viewed porn on the Internet. There were of course some shameful instances where I was caught by my parents - I was smarter after that. It wasn't too bad of a thing when I didn't have regular access to a computer, more like an occasional treat. But once I got my own laptop I started using a porn a lot more. Not having a girlfriend for a long time, nor much romantic contact, meant that porn was practically my only source and outlet for my sexual energy. I started using it every time I wanted to get off. I didn't think too much of it. A year or two I had an encounter with someone and had some trouble, functioning, shall we say. This got me to thinking and I found r/NoFap. They're a little dogmatic for my taste but they introduced me to this wonderful video on the brain and porn. I figured something was wrong and here was some evidence. It's not a proven science but it makes sense to me. So I quit watching porn about a year ago and haven't looked back. Honestly I haven't had much trouble quitting it, even with constantly having to be on my computer. Unfortunately I still haven't had much luck in the romantic department to finally see if quitting has helped me out. Still, I feel porn is fine for some people but I think it has had a negative effect on myself.
Thanks for sharing that video: I hadn't seen it before. We may not be able to find a perfect control group (men who have never seen porn), but we could probably find imperfect groups based on society's norms. For example: we could compare people who watch one-standard-deviation or fewer minutes of porn to people who watch one-standard-deviation or more minutes of porn. Like all psychological research, it's challenging to isolate the biases (lots of people lie about their porn habits; if it's true that addiction takes place - as I suspect that it is - then many of them probably don't even know they're lying!), but it's still a starting point. I'm an occasional porn user. I certainly wouldn't say that I was an addict. But I'm older than the average person on Hubski, and I'm aware that this probably makes a significant difference to how much pornography I had access to, and how early. When I was in my mid-to-late teens, Internet pornography involved slow downloads of mediocre images over dial-up modems, and video? That involved squinting just right at encrypted cable channels! Despite being a "geek", I didn't see Internet video porn until my late teens - and even then, we're talking about tiny snippets of low-quality video that would fit into tiny animated GIFs of today. Again; thanks for sharing - great video.
Like BrainBurner, I was quite young as well when I was first exposed to porn and I believe it really has made quite an impact on me. I can remember exactly the first pornographic picture I was exposed to (a picture of pornstar Sky Lopez squatting wearing nothing but a pair of clear stripper heels). I feel that picture has shaped how my definition of sex and sexuality. I will ask my girlfriend to wear a pair of heels whenever we do anything sexual. I love to buy her heels and we always "break them in" by having her wear them while giving me oral. I also find porn itself as sex if that makes any sense as I will be taking pictures or videos everytime we're doing anything sexual. I have an encrypted hard drive full of pictures and videos of her.
I'm not sure that it's as simple as that your first pornographic experiences shape your sexual interests thereafter, as you imply, but I'll agree that there's a correlation. I just think that human memory is a fascinating and complex thing. I can't remember the first "porn" I saw. But imagination is a wonderful thing; and I can remember "near-porn" things that I saw in my early teens that could be considered to be influences on my later sexual interests. I remember seeing some film, at about the age of 11 or 12 (with my parents, no less), in which a woman (riding cowgirl) tells her male partner that he's not to get off until she does, and thinking it was incredibly hot. In hindsight, it's easy to argue that this may have had an impact on my sexual interests. But on the other hand, perhaps I remember that particular scene of that particular movie (whose name I've never been able to recall) specifically because it appeals to me now, as an adult. Memory is far more malleable than we are capable of understanding - or comfortable comprehending! There is no science in asking people what porn they first saw (i.e. first remember seeing) and how it affected them, because they're an enormous cognitive bias. Who's to say that we don't simply best-remember the sexual experiences that most-concisely fit with out current mental model. It's certainly the case with other areas, studies on memory show. But whatever the case, I have a great attachment to giving my partners satisfaction as a priority. Contrary to the clip I remember, and in support of my memory hypothesis, this applies regardless of the gender of my partner. This is especially relevant as, at age 11 to 12, I was not remotely convinced of the possibility that I might be attracted to men as well as women. In short; I'm not sure it's as simple as you'd like to think. Memory is a tricky beast, as my story shows.
I always remember in seventh grade (10 years ago) when my friends would talk about masturbating to porn. I never quite understood what they were talking about. Stroking my third leg in between my legs didn't quite seem like something I was interested in. But one night, when I was watching some late night Comedy Central, a Girls Gone Wild commercial came one. I got all excited and what not and decided to give it a whirl. Thus, my first exposure to "porn." From there I explored around on the internet, but I wouldn't say it's had a heavy impact on me. I've been in a very involved relationship for about 4 years how and haven't looked at porn more than ten times since. I remember hearing a story once of a man who couldn't climax during sex with his wife unless looking at Playboy. That story, whether true or not, scared me into not ever wanting to become addicted to porn.