I think you and Wong are saying the same thing, you just don't know it. The dirt is important. It holds the nutrients and water and such that makes the tree grown, and that's what the tree turns into fruit. Your internal self is what creates your external actions. The things you DO don't just happen, they're a reflection on the you that nobody can see, the you that you have to talk to in your own head all the time (man I hope that wasn't too many yous). The Bible says your faith is shown by your works. Whether you're Christian or not, the principle applies. You can't say you're a charming, lovable person if all you do is sit in your room and never talk to anyone. Even if it's true, it doesn't matter if you hide it. That was the point of the article. Throw yourself out there and get blasted to pieces. At least the different pieces can make a pretty awesome mosaic.
I understand that and Wong's statement is perfectly valid if self-value is to be derived from successful marketing of oneself. However, I disagree with the basic premise that one's interaction with others determines one's self-value. The dirt, in my argument, is self-value since it is the purest expression of an individual. In other words, because how a person outwardly expresses himself or herself is guided by the goal of servicing other people, it will not be the most honest portrayal of who that individual truly is. The most pure form of self-value comes with accepting and being content with who you are internally, not your position in a social system.