a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by ButterflyEffect
ButterflyEffect  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: September 28, 2022

Well I’m continuing to talk to and will be seeing girl who lives far away. Going on a date, hopefully, with another girl who’s a guide for a local/very well known mountain guiding company. So there’s some people out there for me.

I’ve been feeling like I numbed a lot of parts of my personality towards the end of my last relationship. I’m finding myself making more of each day, listening to music louder, staying up later, burning the candle more. We’ll see how long I can do this, but I am feeling more extreme highs and lows which is something I’ve gravitated towards over the last 10 years of my life. I wouldn’t say in a bi polar way, but I also wouldn’t say it’s a normal, necessarily healthy thing.





Foveaux  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Happy (though unsurprised) to hear there are some people out there for you!

Do you think the more extreme spectrum experience is backlash from numbing parts of yourself? Maybe you'll find that middle ground once you get through this period?

ButterflyEffect  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No, I don’t think it’s related as the extremes thing predates the relationship thing. I have for quite some time experienced or sought out relatively high highs and low lows, and also get very very passionate about something. Used to be radio and music. Still love music. But now it’s mountains. Those passions have always been my compass in life.

Foveaux  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·  

My brother follows a similar trend. If he's into it, he is into it. Currently it's hiking and long distance running. He has hemophilia, so this is quite the feat on it's own. Honestly didn't expect him to gravitate towards movement being his focus, but I guess after years of restricting himself he's found he loves it.

ButterflyEffect  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hah! I am also a distance runner (trails, 50km), and am extremely anemic (working on this with my doc) so can very much relate to your brother in those regards.

Foveaux  ·  791 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Whenever I head up the island to visit him (like recently, he has a newborn son I was yet to meet) we take turns beating each other up. He drags me up a hill for a run, I drag him into the gym.