Happy Holidays All,

With deep regret I feel that there’s something we should face. It’s becoming clearer that grandpa’s age and lifestyle is catching up with him. We need take him to a specialist and see if he’s had a stroke, UTI, or maybe his sodium is out of whack. Or, possibly worse.

Lately he’s been sounding detached from reality, saying stuff like,”They’re all out to get me. They’re making it all up and spreading these lies about me!” I tell him, “Grandpa, everyone wants you to do a great job, but you keep making nonsensical arguments and lashing out at us. Look what you said about Uncle John Dingell! That was terrible, Aunt Debbie was just crushed!”

Grandpa would have none of that though, he went on blaming these imaginary “hoaxes” he calls them as he curses into his phone.

It’s time that one of the family take the keys to the free world away from him, the sooner the better, before someone gets hurt! I’d step in myself, but I’ll be nowhere DC this holiday season. If one of you guys could get on it ASAP, we’d all appreciate it.

Grandpa’s done enough damage to our American family name already. It’s pretty clear the neighbors are over the, “ah, he’s just getting crotchety phase. Look what he did to our relatively disadvantaged Ukraine neighbors down the block! Think about it, he pushed them around I hopes of retaining his seat as the subdivision board chair.

How long ‘til he’s got that rifle,that that jerk Lapierre from across the street gave, him pointed at a delivery boy or the youngsters that play on his lawn occasionally?

Anyone willing to step up?

Happy Holidays,

Cousin Jeff