I really wanted to love this article, but it is almost incomprehensible. OK. Dude was in someone else's house (a neighbor?), and pushed/knocked down the wife. The cops come. He brandishes a knife at the cops. They tase him. His house explodes in flames. (I'm visualizing this happen as he's thrashing on the floor, pissing himself from the taser.) Instantly - or maybe later - the fire department tries to go in, but can't, due to the ammo store exploding and firing off rounds everywhere. And he's going on tour with Slayer on their final tour. ==== I'm just ... what? Who the fuck wrote this article?!? Who the fuck edited it?!? Who the fuck posted it to the web site?!? How did any other media outlet make any sense of the story, so they could link to it...?!?
You need to read it in the Cookie Monster voice. It's that metal. Then you can run it through the decoder ring. http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/florida-death-metal-guitarist-broke-into-a-stranger-s-house-as-his-own-home-burns-deputies-say Long story short, dude was being metal (frying out of his mind), did something metal (set his house on fire), reacted in a truly metal way (ran a half mile across a golf course and barged into a stranger's house) and then was too metal for society (hid and brandished a weapon when the cops showed up). Meanwhile his house went down metal (burned uncontrollably because of the excess ammunition and flamethrowers). The resulting metal apocalypse was so metal that it reverted news reports to a primal metal level where nobody even had time to go "but of course Florida."
