About a week ago I finally met the author that inspired my thesis research topic in person. It wasn't the first time we talked — I'd skyped with him a while ago — but between then and now, I've done a lot of work that builds on his. So I made an appointment to meet and took a train to his university last week. Like many interesting professors, he alternates between enthralling mini-lectures and stern-faced inquiries. Near the end, I asked him what his motivation was behind all this research of his. He went on for a few minutes about everything that's wrong with our current models and how a fundamental rethinking of our tools was well due. "In other words, a blunt tool in the right direction is better than a sophisticated tool askew?" "Yes, exactly." A few days later I wondered if that was also the case with Tesla's Autopilot. As part of a visit to my uni's automated driving research lab, a bunch of us got to test drive a few Teslas with a rep explaining its features. Despite knowing almost as much as the rep about the car, I haven't driven one before. As far as cars go, it's not a bad sedan. But it's also not the top-notch quality I hear people raving about. The interior especially felt kinda cheap for such an expensive car. That touch screen is ginormous, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it's just an upsized $300 Android tablet. I don't know if this is the default, but when the car knows a speed camera is coming up it makes a loud, jarring WEEOOWEEOO sound that I would expect from a kids toy, not a high end car. It's downright insulting when you look at the price tags on these things. It drives okay, although it is much wider and heavier than you might expect. After testing its acceleration on an office park (not bad!) we drove to a 70 kph road to test the Autopilot. (That's 45mph in Freedom Units, fyi.) When I was behind the wheel it seemed to do a pretty good job of driving. It's a bit weird at first, but I got used to it very quickly - in seconds, not in minutes. In case you didn't know, the dashboard shows you not just your car but also shows other cars and line markings while driving. So in addition to paying attention to road conditions and to what the car is doing itself, you can check the dashboard to be reassured that yes, it's seeing that Ford one lane over. It handled a traffic light intersection without a hitch, coming to a full halt behind another car and continuing to drive 70 without any input from me. At one point the road was still wet, so a puddle made the car wobble a bit. But the general impression that I and many others got, was that it can already drive itself. Changing to the rear passenger seat I could pay more attention to what the dashboard showed. I was surprised at how often it doesn't recognize lane markings. It also showed curbs as obstacles a few dozen times. When you're driving, you can't pay that much attention to the dashboard because it really is a more difficult and attention-demanding driving experience. The two other that got to drive it noticeably struggled with it. One guy just got his license. The other can't be more than ten years from retiring. Neither of them knew anything about how the system worked, and both managed to override it multiple times in the ten minutes they each drove it. I already felt conflicted by Tesla's approach to automated driving, and that feeling is not reduced one bit. I mean, it is very cool that it can steer itself under the right conditions. It represents a future that I would drag to the present if I could. But on the other hand I'm now more convinced that it is a terrible idea to unleash this the general public without proper instruction. It's distracting or confusing at best, but dangerous at worst. The only way to drive this responsibly is to know how it works and know when it doesn't. You can't do that without at least some sort of training. If it were up to me, I'd make it a requirement to get an annotation on your drivers license before you can drive something like this on the road. In my opinion, it's a blunt gimmick by a company perpetually in crunch time.
I GOT A CAT! A three-month old kitten from BARCS--Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter. I couldn't've hoped for a better personality: social, cuddly, doesn't seem to get into too much trouble with wires or drapes, is getting more independent but is still curious as, well, a cat. She's absolutely hysterical and I find myself laughing aloud at her antics while I'm home doing work. School Two weeks left in the semester. School has been a pleasant challenge but in response to a ramping up in difficulty, I've abstained from drinking for the last few weeks. It's been such a positive influence that I'm thinking really hard about abstaining for the entirety of next semester. Partly because next semester may quite literally require twice as much work as this one, but also because I'm hungry for a big personal project and I've enjoyed the experience, I'm seriously considering a four-month commitment to teetotalism. As it was, I spent at least 24-48 hours a week recovering from hangovers. Abstention would allow me to focus on school, soccer, and gymnastics. Speaking of which... Gymnastics One of the highlights of 2017 was getting back into the sport. I've increased my flexibility and skills with just four hours of practice a week since September. Today I finally managed a giant--a 360° swing around the high bar. Bryan Caplan An economics professor of mine is a graduate of George Mason University which is home to a number of world-renowned economists, like Tyler Cowen, Robin Hanson, and Bryan Caplan, the latter of which is publishing his book on the economics of education in January of next year. An earlier book of his, The Myth of the Rational Voter: Why Democracies Choose Bad Policies, has been the most stimulating book I've read this year, and if this new book proves to be half as interesting I think we're in for a treat. I was explaining Caplan's work quite enthusiastically to my professor. Afterwards he surprises me by sharing that he's friends with Caplan and that he's going to see about inviting him to give a lecture on his book next semester. My jaw dropped. That doesn't happen every Tuesday.
The GMU Economics department is an interesting creature to me. At my undergrad university, we had two ECON professors from GMU. One of them convinced Alex Tabarrok to come to campus for a keynote and short lecture, and I got to have lunch with him. Which was wild to me because I'd spent the past two years reading his (and Cowen's) blog, Marginal Revolution GMU is also known for its donations from Charles Koch. Without going into specifics, it was common knowledge in the ECON department at my own school that both GMU-alum professors were on accelerated tenure tracks because of the funding they brought with them from their connections to the Koch Foundation. Of course, both professors were excellent teachers in their own right, but there's a strong norm of procedural justice among academe and this violated it so badly that it was an agenda item in the faculty senate for 3 years in a row. One of the profs wrote a letter of recommendation for my master's program, so I hope it's obvious enough that I hold no feelings either way about what choices they've made in their academic careers. But, like I said, GMU is an interesting creature. I've been speculatively following high-level graduates of the ECON department for the past 5 years now and researching alums (I'm very familiar with Cowen, Hanson, and Caplan - recommended Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids to my wife). If anything's true about that department, it's a tight network of alumni.
I am one with your observations. GMU's economics department is an interesting creature indeed. When my professor, a GMU economics PhD by the name of Howard Baetjer, first seriously suggested I apply to a Charles Koch Institute internship, I was confused. I had never heard a real life person speak with anything but contempt for the Kochs, let alone their nonprofit or advocacy groups. I had listened to an interview with Stephen Dubner and Charles Koch on Freakonomics and knew that some people sincerely conceive of Charles Koch as merely a billionaire uber-libertarian with small government fantasies intent on unleashing the productive capacity of the everyman, that Jane Mayer's criticisms were off-base, etc. That said, whatever the Kochs' do believe is of vast importance. Their political network is mind bogglingly well-funded. After spending $250 million in the 2016 election cycle--though neither for Trump or Hillary--they stated their intention to spend as much as $400 million in 2018. From Politico: The honorarium that my professor would pay Bryan Caplan to come speak at my college? Paid from a donation made by the Koch Foundation. That said, I have an enormous respect for Cowen, Hanson, and Caplan. I've seen Cowen give one of his "Conversations" in DC. I'm genuinely geeked to see Caplan next semester if he agrees to come. I'm pretty well convinced of some of the broad libertarian arguments--the negative effects of things like operational licensing, the supply and demand distortions in the Affordable Care Act, etc. I am wary of the libertarian movement, though, since their arguments are so easily co-opted by don't-give-a-fuck greedy, crony corporatists. So, like you, I observe from afar not without some interest.Koch and his brother David Koch have quietly assembled, piece by piece, a privatized political and policy advocacy operation like no other in American history that today includes hundreds of donors and employs 1,200 full-time, year-round staffers in 107 offices nationwide. That’s about 3½ times as many employees as the Republican National Committee and its congressional campaign arms had on their main payrolls [in November 2015].
Maybe you should read Nancy McLean's "Democracy in Chains." My buddy just finished it and read quite a few passages to me. It's a pretty bold condemnation of George Mason's economics department amongst other things. I haven't read it, my friend was impressed by it.
Have you read "Dark Money"? I liked it - I'll give "Democracy in Chains" a go too. Koch funding at my alma (as I mentioned) was very contentious. There's an English department faculty member there who hosted a book club for a few months this fall semester, and I think they covered both books along with "Sons of Wichita". From what I understand, it went over about how you'd expect: very academically political, which is arguably the worst kind of political.
If you post a picture of your cat, I guarantee I'll go "aww!"
Curled up while I'm reading. I like to think she's holding up her head while snoozing.
Cute animal photos are one of the few positive things that run rampant o’er the internet. I’m all in favor. Sometimes when I need a lift I cruise to r/aww or, on twitter, accounts with such apt names as “Emergency Kittens.” Maybe the internet’s overwhelming love of animal photos is evidence that we can still believe in the good of humanity. At least, I am grateful for the counterpoint it provides.
And the dense conversation above about politics and dark money garnered 1 share. You can't beat a cat photo!
Unsure whom you're apologizing to, but none necessary. Even our little internet refuge here is still a social media site, and social media generally is horrible and frustrating at times. I delete my Twitter app often, only to go back eventually. I think taking a break is healthy at times. I took a several month hiatus from most of the internet after the election, and I'd say it was generally good for my well being. Hubski has the unique feature of changing your username to "user-inactivated" (which I don't care for--we all should have to be responsible for what we put into the world), so it looks like a protest rather than a hiatus. I'd encourage everyone to take a break from time to time, but maybe don't inactivate your account. Just log out. It's that simple and also that hard.
I am glad to hear I am not alone in the cadence of deleting social media apps for a time, only to install them again (and sometimes, repeat). When I really really want to stay off Facebook, I change the password to a random long keyboard smash of numbers and letters. Yes - I can get back in again - but it forces me to go through the password reset process first, which is both annoying and takes a little time; it’s a good barrier to entry.
Facebook is the one that I have the easiest time ignoring. I just find it so banal that I have no interest. I keep my account active purely for the invites and messages. Twitter is my bugaboo. I hate it, because it's such a moronic echo chamber, but I love it because it's such a moronic echo chamber. How many times can I read 500 comments about what a vile rapist Roy Moore is? A lot. Until I can't anymore. Then I can again.
The username should stay. After all, that user said that thing, and therefore the username needs to remain to maintain the attribution. A good comment by a deactivated user is still a good comment. You shouldn't be able to upvote or badge a comment by a deactivated user, but you should still be able to see who made the comment. (My $0.02.)
I think I've deleted Twitter (entire account, not just the app) three times. I technically have an account now, but I only use it to ask questions of businesses. It's been over a year since I wiped my last real account, and I'm never going back. Facebook was purged once, and I never went back. The only one I still use is Instagram. I have one friend who posts text statuses, just screen shots of Facebook, but otherwise the limitation of needing a picture makes it so much more tolerable.
Hey Pubski. The Makers 46 on the rocks with a touch of bitters hit the spot last night, so let's keep those rolling in. When I'm down to a finger get another one set up... So... Headlines... Community. Turns out there has been a secret network of women keeping a list of "bad men" (assault, rape, creepiness, etc.) in my community for several years. Over the last week, this has entirely toppled an arts organization I am very fond of, and has ousted quite a large number of people from the community. I've checked in with the women I have had interactions with over the last decade or so, and they have all given me the gold star. So I'm apparently one of the "good men", and not in danger of being ejected. Instead, I am leaving on my own. I have done what I can to help, listen, witness, and speak of how things were handled when I was in a leadership role, and why certain things happened the way they did. But, in every case, I can do no right. In fact, even not-doing is failing to do the right thing. So I'm tapping out. And that's probably a good thing. I am a straight, white, middle-aged, porky, married man. I have little to offer this particular community any more, so I have decided to spend my time elsewhere... Weight Loss Since I'm gonna be 50 in less than a year, I figured I'd go Keto to begin the weight loss, then yoga for flexibility, and finally do a little muscle toning through minor weight lifting and aerobic exercise. Started on Monday. Stats: 268 lbs, 5' 10" tall, sedentary lifestyle and work environment. My BMI chart says I should be 160-165lbs, which is funny, because I was 175 in high school when I was wearing jeans with a 27-inch waist. So realistically, I can probably get around 220 and hold it there, healthily. So that's my goal. 50lbs in 11 months. Fuck Everything. Man... my life is good. Great marriage. Great home. Great job. Great pay. Great benefits. Great dog. Great family. Even have some savings and a 401k. But my country is an utter embarrassment, and everything I have worked for and put my heart in to throughout my life - basically, let's just keep our nose out of other people's business, and let them get on with their life in their own way - is coming tumbling down under the forces of idiocy and small-mindedness in the world. Yeah, I am completely insulated from all of this, and will be fine no matter what happens. But it just bums me out that "my fellow Americans" are such a bunch of dicks. Time to delete all the social media, and let the world burn. I have no rat in this race. Bleh.
Something happened in my hometown community recently which caused a metric splashton of drama and rape accusations and drama and SJW bullying of small business owners who happened to have the misfortune of employing someone who not only had never been accused of misconduct while on the job, but who was being called a rapist when all the accusations against him, despite being unsavory, stopped far short of rape. For a while I surfed the Facebook sea where feminists, vitriolic status-posters, band-wagon-ers, concerned citizens, and happy pitchfork-sharpeners engaged about these events all at once. At one point, it was suggested (by a person of one of the above groups, to a person in another one) that my local female community should keep one of those lists, or start a secret Facebook group, and so educate each other and keep each other safe by sharing the names of men who were sexually dangerous. In theory it sounds like a sound notion. And in fact, if I am at the bar and I see certain men who I have had very bad experiences with - really, if I see those men attempt to approach women I consider friends - yes, I will walk up to the lady/ies in question and alert them. There is one man I so detest I do not even bother warning his targets privately; I will say in front of his face that he is a creep, and advise "you don't want to talk to him." In a way, that's your list in action. In practice, especially after seeing such a flipping mess of a monsoon of accusations get hurled about over Facebook, many of them coming from women who self-admittedly had always felt rejected by the social/music/band circle in which this guy had 'power,' and several of whom did not only not currently live in my town but hadn't come through for years before to boot (some of whom no longer even lived in the same country), this idea left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. It is very easy to throw out names of bad people behind closed doors. And we know; the internet loves its pitchforks. A forum to discuss 'bad men' is a forum to feed drama, create turmoil and gossip, and I strongly feel would be far more prone to abuse than provide help to innocent young women. And you know what? A list of names does nothing to help women except point out specific people to stay away from. It gives you nothing. What I think women should do, who are concerned with predatory men in their social groups, is - yes - band together. Talk amongst themselves. Educate themselves. But not with single names of single people who are transient and also, possibly capable of change. Get together and read books like The Gift of Fear and Why Does He Do That and start to discuss red flags that men (or people of any gender) exhibit when they are predators. This could also be a place for survivors to share their stories, be supported and heard. But if you tell a person a name to stay away from, you are not giving that person anything useful in the long-term. You are not truly helping arm them against the truth of how people are, or how bad people can be. Form a group, establish a code and a telephone tree, and make yourselves a network so if a girl is out and feels unsafe she can contact the network and hopefully, somehow, the network can reach back and help her - either someone showing up at the bar where she is in person, or someone calling her an uber, or providing support or advice if she feels in danger, or even up to calling the cops if her life might be in danger and she cannot. There are so much better ways to make and use a network than by feeding it concrete names of specific people to stay away from; feeding it, essentially, a list of poisons in disguise as full-body cleanses. If you are going to band together and protect each other, do so in a way that will last after the group has disbanded. do so in a way that is permanent, and based off of shared experience, knowledge, observations, and grounded information and tools -- do so in a way that is positive. not that limits oneself to hiding in a dark room and keeping a list of men who at least one someone said was undesirable, and in a way feeding into a chasm that is endless - and which always leaves its spit on you even though it usually will not swallow you in whole.Turns out there has been a secret network of women keeping a list of "bad men" (assault, rape, creepiness, etc.) in my community for several years. Over the last week, this has entirely toppled an arts organization I am very fond of, and has ousted quite a large number of people from the community.
Yes to all of this. This, though... this is where the usual internet yes/no, good/bad, dichotomous thinking does a disservice, and a more nuanced, phased, approach is preferable. It's like the seven stages of grief. The first thing that needs to happen is that the very real experiences of all these women need to be HEARD. Everyone needs to have their chance at the mic to talk about the thing she has experienced, how it made her feel, and how it has affected her life ever since that day. Then a reckoning needs to take place. The serial abusers, the genuinely bad apples, need to be outed and held accountable for their actions. They have lived in the comfort of knowing that "Women don't talk about these things," so he has been safe from public accusations, or being held accountable for his actions. Shit, just look at what a rape survivor has to go through just to be believed! Then the community needs to move into a phase of dealing with the structure of the problem. Why does this happen? What about our community needs to change to make this type of behavior unacceptable? And then the practicality comes along. Do we need a blacklist? Are abusers/gropers/rapists irredeemable, and never allowed to darken the door of our events again? What type of behavior warrants ostracism? Creepiness? Inappropriate pinching? Hugging? Groping? Bad behavior when drunk? Rape? Where is the line, and why is it there? The community is moving through the phases now. The stories have largely been told. The names have been named. And the worst have already removed themselves from the community. Tonight a meeting is taking place about what steps the organization and the community can take to move forward and create a community/events/spaces where there are repercussions for bad/abusive behavior, and the bad ones are weeded out at the gate. I'll be at the meeting. I already know what will happen: Everyone will want everything, but when it comes to people raising their hands to participate and actually implement the plans, there will be the sound of crickets. This community loves to bitch, and loves it when other people do the work. I am not optimistic. A list of names does nothing to help women except point out specific people to stay away from. It gives you nothing.
I have suggested similar things and have been accused of victim blaming. If I want to walk the Savannah, I carry a gun. I don't ask the lions and hyenas not to eat me. Predators don't listen.Get together and read books like The Gift of Fear and Why Does He Do That and start to discuss red flags that men (or people of any gender) exhibit when they are predators.
Do you want to get in a room and talk about the problem, or do you want to get in a room and talk about how to lessen the problem? That's how I feel about it. Grassroots groups of women (or any gender) can't really effectively find the predators and make them stop predating (legally). That 'solution' isn't an option. But educating yourself and others is. You can't fix the people coming after you, but you can try to prepare for/against them - it's a fact that people will predate, why should would-be victims embrace ignorance? Because people shouldn't prey on others? You can argue 'should' until you're blue in the face but if I am going on a battlefield I will put on armor, whether we should be at war or not. edit - we agree, and we know we agree. I think we are united in our distaste for this other set of people. So to confirm...we are ranting together here :) edit 2: as for me, disparaging superior commenters who had no real life knowledge of or engagement with the situation being discussed (on FB) enjoyed dismissing me as a "brainwashed idiot so subsumed by the patriarchy i couldn't even see how wrong I was". which i'll take this moment to ask, why is it that when you're a woman and you disagree with a radfem, their immediate response is typically to rob you of your agency and any independent thought by declaring that "the only way you could possibly have that opinion is because men made you do so! with patriarchy! and structures! huaaah!" like it's quite ironic, it's only the self-professed ultra-insane-feminists online that insist, when another woman disagrees with them, it can't possibly be because said woman has formed independent cogent thoughts.
Maybe the problem is that when you point out that wearing armour is a good thing you don't actually know what that looks like to somebody else. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to be one of the only women on this site who will throw out my personal experiences with this bullshit and believe me I'm holding back. Maybe that means I just have more experience with this and my armour looks different. So it's fine and all to say we should wear emotional armour but don't try and dismiss other peoples problems as if you know what that armour looks like for them. Maybe you've got a nice little suit there but the rest of us are pretty fucked up from just trying to live our lives. We will continue to fuck up our relationships, pass up opportunities at work, and in general live an isolated existence from anything we perceive as potential harmful that won't even flash on your radar. Basically you've got no idea what sort of battlefield other women have navigated and a little empathy for them goes a long way. It's pretty damn rude to tell somebody to just throw on some armour when you have no idea what they've already got. Many women are being dragged down by the weight of it and would actually benefit from learning to trust a little bit more. Edit: Whoa, didn’t read your early messages. That’s how gangs get started.
Hmm. When I was speaking about "should" I meant something more like: most people who can afford to talk about what "should" or "shouldn't" happen in real life are removed enough from the realities of what they're discussing that they can spend the time on a theoretical/moralistic/ultimately abstract argument. AKA people suffering from the effects of war are usually more preoccupied with surviving than with talking about how the war shouldn't be happening. Should or shouldn't, c'est la guerre. I did not mean women should wear emotional armor, but that when a person(woman, I guess) is facing the reality of a situation, and not a theoretical discussion about what 'should' be happening or is 'right' or 'just', -- well, if I am that person, I am going to choose to wear amor if it's available to me. I'm not going to talk about how I shouldn't have to wear armor. It is a personal choice. It is harder to put armor on over fresh wounds. I don't have any of those, I just have old marks. Like callouses. They are not interesting.
Sure, but at the same time the people who are relatively removed from the topic by and large won't actually understand what needs to be done. I doubt those lists where intentional first steps, if we are going to talk about the things that happen to us we basically have to have a "no names" rule if we don't want to end up with a list. Which is a joke lets be real, that meeting would end in shouting the second Cindy chimed in to tell somebody not to use the name of the man who hurt her. It's more likely that the lists start organically with simple looking out for each other and then fester. And my response to that is so do I, we don't really have a choice not to arm ourselves against harm as it's a very natural reaction. The problem is that people who want to parade around that they make this choice to wear armour are almost always looking down on those who choose to talk about solutions and how they shouldn't have too without ever considering that maybe it is possible to do both. We all suit up, some of us just take a little extra time to try and talk about solutions and maybe that's because we have more to guard ourselves against. I mean would it be okay for somebody who lives in a gated community to look down on somebody from the ghetto for trying to talk about solutions to violence to just say "pfft, there are bad people in this world you just need to accept that and learn to protect yourself like me" well, if I am that person, I am going to choose to wear amor if it's available to me. I'm not going to talk about how I shouldn't have to wear armor. It is a personal choice.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ edit oyster, I thought about this discussion more over the course of the last several days. I don't know if these thoughts will necessarily resolve our cross-points, but I think they are valid thoughts that might also lend clarity to our discussion here. If it seems like I'm picking up an aged discussion to needle you more about it, that's not my intent and feel free to disregard entirely. The opinions I've expressed here are really driven primarily by the one incident I describe through a couple comments in this thread, and I will assert that, in this specific scenario, at least as far as the idea was presented on a public forum by one impassioned individual (who was also the one bullying local business owners via open "call outs" social media, phone calls demanding an employee be fired, and basically trying to blow shit up without giving anyone a real chance to have a discussion before the outrage) really was driven first and foremost by the idea of creating and maintaining a digital list of names to be shared via a private group to other women in my local community only. (I will pause to note this person also happens to live about 2k miles from my local community and has for years now. I really feel strongly about this person's intent wrt their involvement in the described drama; I do not believe this person's primary concern was in learning the truth, or in protecting others, or in acting constructively in any way.) So when I speak here, all of my opinions are really being driven by one very recent, vivid, dramatic real life event where I do believe there were bona fide foul players masking themselves as concerned, woke victims, allies, or community members. In short: the intent of the proposed group which got me so mad truly was to simply establish a list of names of accused persons, with nary even a mention of being a support group or sharing knowledge or helping others heal or grow or feel heard. However, when you speak about these same ideas here, I feel you're speaking much more generally and broadly, about the potential of support groups in general. I feel like, in all honesty, you are speaking about actual support groups while I am railing against would-be 'support groups' that, from their founding, would really be more like cesspools of negative energy easily prone to manipulation and abuse. I do agree a support group such as the kind I initially described (reading books like Why Does He Do That? and such), or like I believe you envision, could be great places for victims to share stories and gain support, as well as advice. I do agree if a bunch of women began gathering on a weekly basis to share, in part, their stories of being abused, that yes, naturally, names would percolate in the group. It would be unavoidable, and I agree that it would ruin the group intent and probably dynamic if some Authoritarian Annie got it into her head to shush victims when they name-dropped or chastised them. I am in total agreement with you there. However I disagree these discussions would de facto create lists of names of predators. I took a while to ground this idea and why I feel this way. I thought a lot about AA meetings, their code of anonymity outside the meetings, and how that structure of support group works. My boring, probably-too-practical conclusion relies on some precepts: - any social group which meets as a public forum open to all in search of a certain kind of support is likely to be full of individuals who only casually know each other, if at all, outside the realm of the group - it's not very likely a group of 20, united across one vector, all of whom chose to opt in to the group, will all move within one or even two or three tight social circles, out of which all local abusers operate; - attendance at these sort of groups tends to be fluid; unless all members retell their stories of abuse at every meeting, (and for some of us, to name all our names we would have to tell many stories just on our lonesome), OR unless someone is truly keeping a literal recorded master list and sharing it at every meeting, it's highly unlikely that even most group members will be present to hear all stories, not to mention remember the names of the abusers mentioned in those stories (as if I were in a support group to listen to other women, the details of their stories would matter more to me than committing to memory the names of the villains) - and not to mention as well that while of course it's common to refer to people, villains or friends, by their real names when telling real stories of real events, it's not common to trot out full names and it's even less common for listeners to remember full names -- let's call this the "john factor," as in, "yeah, his name was john, i remember, but how many johns do you personally know?" - i would think, similar to AA, these groups would benefit from an amount of guaranteed secrecy/privacy and/or anonymity; while I am not saying they should be locked down to "what is said in the meeting doesn't leave the meeting," I am certainly saying that, while warning others about the men named in the meetings might be admirable, I would fervently hope no one was repeating intimate stories of awful violence other women suffered to the general public (or to their friends of friends) without the original victim's knowledge and consent; (and i suspect victims would prefer their stories not get tossed about as cautionary tales like that) - not to mention the whole "if you are seeking legal action against a person, it's exceeding inadvisable to talk about your legal case publicly/openly to others before it has gone to court," -- while yes it is reasonable and probably good for trauma victims to discuss what happened, if they are pursuing any action in a court of law with a decent lawyer I am sure the advice will be, "if you must talk about it, please change names and some identifying details to protect your own self/case, as well as prevent threats of being sued for slander." I do agree with you in that some extent, I'm sure lists of names of men would organically arise from these groups. But I think they would be short and partial lists handed down orally to trusted members who had become engrained in the group dynamic as a whole. And yes I still think those situations are rife for the potential of abuse by bad actors seeking to smear or "get revenge" or who are just plain crazy narcissists, etc. You would have to build and maintain a very good group with a lot of trust to avoid that risk. -- on to your other point -- It is possible to do both - wear armor, and feel feelings, and have impassioned discussions about how you shouldn't have to wear armor, if this world were a better world. I get that. I agree people shouldn't have to wear armor - but to me that statement is so moot to my life it is not worth discussion. I suspect we agree in this: when people wear armor habitually, it becomes easier and easier to look at those who don't, and witness those people making decisions, choosing to trust, etc, and getting hurt or taken advantage of as a result -- and scoffing at them for wanting to believe that people are better than what we (the armored ones) have personally experienced. And even sometimes blaming those optimistic, bright other people for being victimized when they chose to trust/believe people are good - because while our armor would prevent us from making those same trusting choices, it would also prevent us from becoming victims in similar circumstances. And that is both terribly sad and wrong. As a pretty strict personal rule, I do not hang out with men one-on-one. With certain conditions (is it dark outside? does he want to go to his house? is it after hanging at the bar? etc) the rule becomes even stricter. I don't feel safe. I do not think it is a good idea, and I do not do it. I live with my sister and she does all the time. It kind of amazes me. Sometimes it makes me think I should trust men more. I should try. Then I shake my head and am like "Nah. Absolutely not, lol." While it amazes me that she would make these choices, if at any time she was taken advantage of or coerced or violently forced to do anything, at all, by a man who she was hanging out alone with -- that would still never be her fault. It would be a tragedy, and she would in no way deserve it. Sometimes, though, do I have a shadow of the thought, you're asking for it, when she tells me about her adventures? Yes. I do. I bite it back because it is terrible. I think you and I would agree that it is the wearing of armor which makes that thought come so easily, so uncomfortably quick. Yes, there are problems with wearing armor. It becomes easier to blame others...but if you truly blame others for becoming victims...that is because you have not yet come to terms with having been a victim yourself. That is because inside, somewhere, you are still busy blaming you. I am sure armor can be a way to hide this blame and even self-loathing for some people, as much as it can be a comforting protection. If a magic fairy came along and guaranteed me 100% that I could safely hang out with any man, whatever man I wanted, one-on-one for the next 5 years, and I would never be threatened, fearful or victimized, I still wouldn't do it. This is way too long anyway, but one more thing I want to tack on in closing: to me, discussing why something is unfair, or unjust, or "shouldn't be happening" in a "decent society" is not a discussion of solutions. And it is those discussions which I feel tend to be the luxury of people who are not living the experiences which they are hand-wringing over. gated community, ghetto, both people should want to solve the problem of violence within their community, and they should both discuss solutions and actively work towards them. rich white person saying "it's your fault you don't protect yourself" isn't a solution, it's a judgment, and it's a removed judgment. but, rich white person or victimized ghetto dweller -- either of them can say "violence like this shouldn't be happening" and that's not a solution either. and discussions about what's broadly wrong with our entire society or w/e that spring from comments about should or just or fair are not solutions either, they are distractions that removed rich gated community dwellers would prefer to spend their time visibly discussing with all their friends so they can feel better for caring about Issues without taking any action to solve them at all, but maybe get a pat on the back from all their friends for being so vocally woke. it is those sorts of discussions about theoreticals and shoulds and hand-wringing I was trying to call out in this discussion. I shouldn't have to feel unsafe hanging out with dudes 1:1, but I do, and once I hit that conclusion I feel the rest makes a very uninteresting discussion. Because it won't change no matter how much or how many times I have to justify what I feel to other people who want to argue with me that I'm being sexist or paranoid or untrusting for doing so. People who want to exhaust me; people who are making the argument just because they want to feel Right on the Internet, because intellectually they disagree with the technicalities and impact of my decision -- while I, if I indulge keyboarders with no expense to the discussion for themselves but rabble-rousing and some nice flares of adrenaline as they see their orange-reds light up -- I have to relive, rehash, and re-defend myself (which means first, re-doubting myself again, and again, and again), grinding my emotional gears into my emotional trauma which will continue to be trauma and provide me pain without end for as long as I grind into it. that is why discussing my past trauma is not worth it to me. also bc as i said, at this point, it's mostly very boring: i have done my share of telling, to friends, to bad actors, to therapists. i don't have any questions left. i don't have any handwringing. i think they call this acceptance. i think sharing with others is a vital part of processing trauma. however i also think my trauma has done been processed. lots and lots. it is more helpful, at this point, to listen to stories other people are compelled to share because they are still seeking or processing or hurting or something -- way more helpful for both me and others if I sit back and listen - than it is to speak about my own experience. --- anyway whew wonder how many pages this is -- thought about sending in a PM, fuck that imma be brave and post this shit if a single one of you tries to argue with me about hanging out with dudes one on one, we can bypass the reply, you can send me your address, and i will come for you in person. and is this comment necessary, even on a nice place like hubski? the answer, from my own experience, even if i limit that experience to 'actually happened on hubski' vs. obviously happens everywhere else on the internet -- is undoubtedly, 100%, absolutely - YES. ps ok i admit there are some few rare exceptions to the no 1:1 rule but we are talking like 95% of the time here so just allow me to state it as a rule. if i hang out with you as a dude 1:1, a) you're in that 5%, b) 75% chance a transaction involving marijuana of some sort is involved, c) 90% chance i've known you for a year minimum, d) 50% chance at least one of us considers the other more neutered than a gender
Do you feel like there's anything you can do, on a more local level, to help out? You're experienced, charismatic, and resourceful and those are all very valuable traits. Now is the time where your work, wherever you choose to focus it, can be more meaningful and have a greater impact. Just something to think about.
Thanks. I know I have skills/abilities, etc., that are generally useful. And I will find a way to apply them again. For now, my role is to listen. Witness. Be present. My inclination is to drop this community like a hot fucking rock and run the other way, but... that's always an option I can exercise later on. I can't always be present and hear the conversation and stories, so that's what I am doing now.
Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be with the same groups you're working with now. Food pantries, housing solutions, environmental stuff, whatever inspires you. The sad thing is there are so many issues out there that need attention, but the inspiring thing is there are also so many ways to help and so many people and institutions out there ready and willing to help you help.
What will be the boiling point for this froggy? How will you know when to pull the chute? I'm genuinely curious, I dropped out of this area of discourse a long time ago and have only seen benefits.My inclination is to drop this community like a hot fucking rock and run the other way, but... that's always an option I can exercise later on.
I'll know it when I get there? I hope? Maybe the boiling point comes after it becomes my turn to talk? Very long story, short: I was in a leadership position years ago. After making a very public announcement and taking action, it was brought up to me that the winner that I had awarded was actually a rapist, and had raped a friend of mine. My friend was pissed that the organization had "sided with her rapist". This was LONG before any of these conversations were being had in public, and I secretly hoped this would sort of "go away" if I didn't do anything. And it did. So as I have become more "woke" to the everyday existence of women, and the shit they have to deal with on a daily basis, I realized how wrong my decision was. Not only did I "rehabilitate" her rapist, and deny her experience, by choosing his side and hoping she would take her problem and go hide in her hole again... I also inadvertently empowered other predators in the community, by showing that you could even rape one of the women in our community, and not suffer any consequences. And I lived with that for 8-10 years. It has eaten at me, in the back of my head, for all that time. Only recently have I come to find the words that express the role I played, and why it still stuck with me so long after. ---- The kicker is that, this week, I found out that none of it is true. She wasn't raped. He wasn't her rapist. The information I had been given - and had been holding as a "shared secret" between me and her - wasn't true. And when it came up in a mutual conversation she and I were having with other core people in the community... she completely melted down. She went from not being raped, to being held up as an example of how rape has been treated in our community, in the past. And it destroyed her. She went ballistic. Completely hysterical. All the pressure of all the recent revelations, and stories, and problems, all came to a head at once... ... and I found out that I have been beating myself up about my role as an enabler or "broken-stair" for close to a decade, and it wasn't even true. But now, by "outing" her like that, I HAD become the problem. Oh the irony.
My first encounter with the public side of all this was when a very gentle, very shy, very kind friend (who happened to lift a lot of weights) was written up by an ex on DontDateHimGirl.com as a physically violent stalker. He had in fact broken things off when the accuser faked a pregnancy in order to pressure him into marriage (by her own admission). There was no recourse. She had done it purely to damage his reputation at his church, where he had a leadership position. The site didn't even respond to his communication. It was up for six or seven years, coloring every relationship he had from that point forth (small town, word gets around), even after she bailed back to Canada under inauspicious circumstances. Despite the fact that she had a reputation as a liar and instigator, there was always that 'what if' hanging over him. I'm sure the website - and other devices like it - were created with the best of intentions. And hopefully one of the side effects of #metoo is we acknowledge accusations in daylight where we apply the normal standards of credibility and intent that we apply to everything else. When things are under shroud of darkness, accusations are enough because we assume due process is denied the accuser because of the environment; it's true often enough. But for opportunists with no scruples, it gives cover for women with made-up problems to make things less safe for women in real jeopardy.
I have my own Twitch emote now, lol: Meeting one of my favorite authors tomorrow, (Arjun Basu)[https://twitter.com/arjunbasu], most famous for his 140 character stories on Twitter.
Yo, misplaced the curve and square parentheses with each other in the link.
Day 15 in the new job. Got to MC the company wide meeting. It felt good and I've already received some positive feedback. I really need to figure out how to work Hubski back into my daily regiment. I really, REALLY miss you folks. Ethereum has been a really weird roller-coaster as of late. Magic Internet money is weird. I love you all. Stay gold pony boy.
Wake up 15 minutes earlier and march through those global posts like a muthafucka? I don't know you or your regimen, but you seem like a genuinely good person to be around, and I'm always up for helping with a solution.
Isn't global already a conglomeration of all the posts on Hubski? Show that clock who's really ticking in this house.Good call though - I just need to carve out some time.
Some very localized cheer. I can't stop knitting these fucking christmas ornaments. I'm up to around 3 a day now. Also on the "tree" (which is a rosemary bush this year): 2 silver stars that came with the tea-based advent calendar I have, and a CVS snowman from 1998. I brought this all the way from home over a year ago. My siblings and I always got a new ornament every year when we were growing up, usually some little handcrafted thing or a pretty sculptural doodad. In 1998, my mom had 3 little boys, and was pregnant with a 4th kid, so she was a touch preoccupied. My dad got these on Christmas at CVS when he realized he forgot the ornaments (or rather, when I realized and started crying hysterically). There's something about it I find comforting and oddly charming. ----------- Other things are happening, mostly related to moving, but I'm pretty happy on the whole. UPDATE: Made a Hubski ornament, if anyone wants it, let me know. Happy to send it to you, just cover the shipping. Will gladly make more if others want one.
Is knitting a form of relaxation to you? I would love a new hobby for home that keeps my hands busy. I bite my nails or play on my laptop, neither of which I need more of in my life.
I knit and crochet. It has many uses for me: relaxation, something to do with my hands so my brain can focus on watching a movie/tv/stuff like that, the satisfaction of making something with my own two hands, being able to give very special gifts to certain people who will appreciate them. I learned to crochet a long time ago and it took me several tries to learn to knit. There are a lot of different ways to hold the needles and yarn, if you want to try, I suggest watching a few different videos, throwing and picking styles, to see which feels more comfortable.
Mostly, yes. I started it at the end of college, and just knit scarves. It was totally mindless, and worked well to help me focus. I've always been antsy, which is why I make so much stuff. If you like making stuff with your hands, odds are you'll like knitting. My suggestion would be to get a big, thick ball of cheap yarn (not too dark or it'll be hard to see the stitches), find a pair of needles, and knit some kind of rectangle. Don't worry about following a pattern, or counting stitches, just get a feel for the tactility of knitting and see if it works for you. Tomorrow's my day off, I'll upload some links to tutorials and stuff - YouTube is how I learned to knit, I found the visual nature of it really clarified the techniques for me. Personally, I find knitting very satisfying, and a nice combination of several of my interests. Math, design, craft, hand stuff. It's now something I'll usually do instead of reaching for my phone - not consciously, it's just naturally more interesting to me most of the time. I'm really good at knitting in near-darkness now because I knit while I'm sitting guard during naptime at the pre-school. There's something very meditative and immersive about just counting stitches with your fingertips, feeling your way along the row. There's a movie theater near me that has $4 tickets, and I go see a random movie a few times a week and just knit as well as I can in the darkness. I usually end up with a somewhat lumpy scarf or blanket at the end of it. Anyway, I think it's a good way to spend your time. If I could play video games, make music, or read while knitting, I would probably never leave the house again.
I started off using books and I was easily able to get to the knit stitch but it wasn't until I quit trying to learn from a book and started watching videos that I finally figured out how to purl, so I definitely endorse the YouTube method of learning to knit. My mom taught me to crochet when I was a kid so I can easily learn new stitches by reading instructions now so I thought I could do knitting the same way, but nope. I do other making (jewelry, etc.) but fiber arts are my favorite because I can take them with me easily. I have little projects all over the house, in my bag, at work. They make lighted crochet hooks... I wonder if they have needles as well? You couldn't do that in the theater of course, but naptime they might be useful.
I knit too, and have dabbled in most of the common fiber arts, if you're ever curious or want to get started or what-have-you. Knitting + TV time is wonderful. I often feel sick of myself if I just marathon TV idly; it's so unproductive, and physically stagnant. But if I am knitting, I can enjoy television a lot more. Plus it is functional, and once you're sick to death of scarves for yourself, you can just start giving scarves to friends. I am the opposite of Dala, knitter first and that is where my strength lies as opposed to crocheting. I have a very difficult time keeping an even row when I crochet. Or used to have, anyway, haven't bothered in a long time.
I think I shared a picture of this WIP with hubski but maybe I didn't and if I did for sure it was a long long time ago and there were no knitters around to appreciate. This is the craziest WIP I ever started and don't think I'll ever work on again, but can't ever bear to throw out or get rid of. Because just look at it, yo. The needles are unmarked, but I think they are 00 or 000.
long whistle I would not blame you at all for just finishing that up with a lot of stockinette. Heck I wouldn't even fault you for ending it with garter and just calling it a day. I don't know that I will ever be that ambitious, but it looks beautiful! Eta: disregard deleted comments. Kept telling me it didn't post my comment, but did. Heh.
I've never really had much holiday spirit of any kind - was never very against it or for it. Just basically indifferent [insert sob story about growing up poor with giftless Christmases, boo-hoo] to it all in a way that I've not been very good at articulating. I'm a terrible gift-giver. I just can't preemptively imagine what other people want materially-speaking, and I Scrooge-ishly explain that away by claiming I'm fundamentally uncomfortable with the commercialism/religiosity combo that is modern American Christmas. Sales, discounts, pre-orders, layaways - it all skeeves me out. I'm not very festive. Christmas lights are a lot of work. I hate the combination of green and red. Christmas movies and songs are repetitive. I'm a real grouch RE: Rudolph & Co., Kris Kringle & wide-eyed children, Christmas miracles & mangers, &c. predictably. Last week, my wife showed me The Grinch with Jim Carrey for my first viewing ever. It's been her favorite holiday movie for years, and it's the first time that I've memorably identified with a holiday movie. I watched the cartoon right after. Altogether, it was a real breakthrough, and I think I've finally found my niche in all the seasonal joy and hoopla as "a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce." I've finally got some (anti)-holiday spirit, and it's never felt better.
My mother is crazy, also alcoholic, also a narcissist. Christmas was always terrible because about two weeks before Thanksgiving she'd decide it was the worst holiday ever and full of materialism and hate hate hate and she'd get drunk about 5pm every day and fight with everyone and hate hate hate and we're not celebrating christmas and we're not celebrating new years and hate hate hate and I never loved you and I hate everyone and hate hate hate and then usually about December 23 it was why is everyone so glum this is the happiest time of the year cheer up buy things love love love love love love love love love drink drink drink drink drink So the rest of us developed a bit of a bunker mentality towards Christmas. It sucked. Early on I got in the habit of buying a branch on my way home from school. They usually had them for wreaths and shit. You can jam one of those in a cinderblock and put a jar under it and it's sort of a tree. I think I was eight when I bought some lights at the hardware store. So fuckin'A it was Christmas in my room even if out there in the rest of the house it was fighting and professions of hatred (for some reason the longer the nights the better my mother's ability to harangue people through multiple dawns). And early on I learned which "christmas" music could be played without causing armageddon. So my holiday playlists are unorthodox. Christmas was also the only time of the year my mother baked. That was when she made her "favorite" cookies and also made them for her siblings that refused to bake because they didn't like working with lard. There were three cookies in the pantheon: Lebkuchen, which takes three fucking days to make and is badly misinterpreted by my mother (the germans fuckin' chocolate dip that shit whereas my mother just lets the dough dry out), Biscochitos, which are to "cookies" what "churros" are to eclairs and date pinwheels, which are a joyless nihilist's take on the jelly roll if they were out of sugar. Making these cookies always made her mood worse, and making these cookies involved the whole goddamn family so we were pressganged in to sitting there grinding fucking anise by hand in a goddamn hand-crank coffee grinder that only came out once a year to hand-grind fucking anise, while we listened to her harangue us about how much she hates Christmas. I found a recipe for bourbon balls way in the back. It involves crushed nilla wafers, karo syrup and cocoa powder. And whatever booze I could steal out of the liquor cabinet. I started making those when I was maybe eight. Nobody else ate them. I still make them. Nobody else still eats them. They're fucking delicious. My father, meanwhile, loves eggnog. He's also allergic to eggs. So Christmas was where he made seriously boozy eggnog to escape from his (now ex-) wife and then spent the season piss drunk and on the crapper with the liquishits (a dual escape, if you will). That probably kept me from drinkin' for a good 10 years. But I don't live in that house anymore. I have my traditions. My wife has graciously invited them into her traditions. And Christmas is a very different thing. And every year, I talk to my parents less and less, and every year, I enjoy it more and more. End-of-the-year holidays are about spending time with people we love in the close quarters we're required to take when the weather turns cold and uninviting. The important thing is to make of it what you want, not what is required of you. Finding your balance and fighting for it builds inner strength, which shelters inner peace, which creates outer calm. If emulating the Grinch is what gets you there, do it. After all, his small heart does grow three sizes that day (straight out of fuckin' Dickens). In a similar vein, you might enjoy a little Murray/Goldthwait as well.
Fuck, this is too familiar. Maybe I'll sit down with a drink tonight and write some of my own dysfunctional Christmas tales. To be honest, that doesn't sound too appealing, so I don't think I will - hope you understand. I'm not sure of your age, but I think you're in your 30s-40s. My wife and I are just starting our holiday traditions (both early 20s). We're a bit behind you there, but I think The Grinch is going to be part of the tradition now. We'll memorialize a few more memories on our trip to London too. This is good shit. I appreciate it, truly.Finding your balance and fighting for it builds inner strength, which shelters inner peace, which creates outer calm.
That you have a loving wife and that you're starting your holiday traditions puts you a good ten years ahead of me. Mine remained bleak until my late 20s. I think I was 20 when I came home for my last Christmas; I refused to duck and cover and cower behind the door when my mother went crazy so she emptied four 2L bottles of diet coke on my shoes (then threw two more at my head). What makes them not bleak is contrast. Find something fun. Do it twice. Cuddle with your wife. Tell her how nice it is. Then tell her a story of the way it used to be and let it go, like a dark bird finding another perch. I'm pretty dispassionate about this shit these days because I've let most of the crows out of the cage and all I have is doves. There remain dark birds aflutter but the bright ones crowd out the dark ones.
I think getting married and having a family to avoid my own family on holidays would be a real positive. But since I assume family always makes their families miserable, that isn't high on my priority list. It's a bit of a catch 22.
I thought Christmas sentimentality was a forced sham. But it's grown on me tremendously. I think what's helped, at least in regards to Christmas music, is to choose when I listen to it. If I'm walking around a mall, I'll resent the hell out of it. When I'm home cleaning the house? I'll put it on blast. Except for Mariah Carey. I never liked her. Favorite holiday movie: National Lampoons' Christmas Vacation. No Christmas is complete without it.
"Hey, wanna hear me squeal at a frequency usually reserved for sirens, thereby destroying any sort of appealing timbre usually found in the human voice?" "No, Mariah. I really don't." "I bet I can hold it for a looooooooooooong time..."Except for Mariah Carey. I never liked her.
I'll be damned, I finally moved to Germany. It's a bit unreal. If anything this is all worth it for the doner. My god is it delicious. I'm headed to a Christmas market this weekend, I'll try and post some pictures
It's become a popular fast food dish in Russia, as well, called shawerma or döner interchangingly. It's been a growing industry for a few years. There's at least one of those movable box-cafe döner place on each major street even in this middle of nowhere.
I had a rather long discussion with two Israelites after they ordered shawarma and received döner. Apparently there's a big difference.. not that I could tell, or they could adequately describe. Either way, I'm surprised the trend has yet to hit the United States. It is really the best late night drunk food
I was talking to my groupmates about visiting other countries recently. One just came back from Italy, another's going to work&travel in the US in the summer, and me... "Well, what if you get to move to Germany?" Ever seen how intense Henry Rollins gets when he touches upon something important to him? That was me: "At the first opportunity. As soon as I get the chance, I'm moving. Out of the god damn way". I'm no kleinbl00, so no stories to share. Just — good on you, yo. Proud of your move. How come you're there? What brought you there? Was it easy to apply for the temporary stay?
It's worth it man. At least for me, just escaping the states has been incredibly refreshing. I.. I like Europe quite a bit. Maybe I just like the change? I have yet to see. Well should you come to Germany most definitely let me know. There's no need to be kleinbl00, we already have one of those. I came here for work. It's a rather long and complicated story, but the application was mostly taken care of for me.
Splendid. Hope you have a good time in the original Eagleland. I will. Cheers.It's a rather long and complicated story, but the application was mostly taken care of for me.
Well should you come to Germany most definitely let me know.
I'd be thrilled to learn you liked what I had to say, but it's not nearly good enough. Stories are awesome. Mine's just well-composed.
Fun fact: in the past 8ish years I've had 9 addresses. Of those, 3 had the street numbers: 37; 137; and 1370. I am p sure a total of 5 had street numbers which consisted only of some variation of 0, 1, 3 and 7. Ain't life funny? Or at least, ain't our pattern-recognizing lizard brains? Impromptattoo. Dat fresh ink. QWEAN
Spent two days learning how to use a rose engine. Now I know how to use a rose engine and you're all "WTF is a rose engine!!!!!???" Actually, you have no fucks to give but I'm going to pretend you care: It's hard. It's easy if you make extremely easy shit and extremely easy shit is super rewarding. I spent two days doing the hardest shit I could because I wanted to test my own limits. As such, I kinda hate my shit. But several people were really impressed considering it was my first time out. So. That was pretty cool. Today I put the top down in 33 degree weather and bombed 80 miles north on the Interstate to get the Porsche looked at by my race car cousin and his race car buddy. It was fucking sublime. Consensus is that the back tires are pure garbage and the alignment might be off, but the back tires are definitely crapola done. They tried to assert that I am also a shitty driver that needs to get used to a rear-engined sports car but then my cousin goosed the thing in first and shot it hard to one side and said "those tires are done" and that was that. I had a Suzuki samurai with a soft top in college. I have a soft top now. That's like 20 years I spent without a soft top, which was a dire mistake. Never again.
Things aren't great, but it could be worse. Looking forward to the new year.
Abiding. Work is still a drag, but I'm trying to re-align my own expectations for myself. I still want to be doing something different, something more, but I'm trying to cut myself at least a small amount of slack. I also bought a Switch earlier today as my Christmas present to myself. I need a little more pointless fun in my life. Meds mean I can do more Serious Thinking and what-not, but they don't mean I can't still tire myself out, and that signal is harder to read than it used to be. So I'm kind of giving myself a break for the rest of the year, trying to do more creative stuff (found an art tutor locally and am going to write more), and play some Zelda. (And Super Mario Odyssey once Amazon brings it to me.) And that's about it. Books are still fun, TV is still fun. What can I say?
What are you reading? What are you watching?
For watching, mainly Mr. Robot as new episodes come out (season 3 has been awesome overall), as well as going back through The West Wing when I want some background noise. That and random nonsense on YouTube. Reading: Bleak House, Foucault's Pendulum, and Steppenwolf.
What's good about Mr. Robot? I found it difficult to get hooked on the first episode. I also hear the hype, and now you're saying it's above just "good".
For me it's an awesome character drama, while the broader events are also really cool. It dramatically increases in scope in later seasons, and if the first couple episodes are a little slow, there's definitely a payoff.
Thank you. I'll check it out again. I remember Breaking Bad being slow in the beginning and taking off like a train after a while.
Yeah, and at least for me Mr. Robot didn't take as long to do so. I posted briefly awhile ago (shortly after joining hubski, in fact) about the show.
I'm three episodes in. Took a break after the third one because the story got grim fast, and I don't handle grim topics well. Had to consider whether to continue. Had to spoil myself of the further development to do so. Sounds like the story's only getting more intense further on. Exciting, what they've done with the main character's mental health and, subsequently, perspective. I'd like to see how it's portrayed. I think I'm going to continue watching. I think it's important for me as a writer to explore things like this. Strange how the morbid could be so enticing; that's human nature for you, but more so the writer's nature.
I'm glad you're liking it, and hope it doesn't bum you out too much :)
I'm supplying a small community game giveaway, meant to go through December till Christmas. At one point, I'd found myself with a big number of keys that I'm never going to use from Humble Bundles. An acquaintance of mine — a game tradesman by night — had decided to give one of his game keys away. I saw the message on the server and decided to double the reward from my own stash. Then two other persons joined with the same game, making it a quadruple giveaway. I looked at my keys list and told the guy: "I'm all in. Make it a month-long thing". He's so excited to see his small act of kindness grow exponentially within the day. Now, he writes giant announcement posts for each giveaway as if he's giving away Fallout 4s, even if it's Ultimate Chicken Horse. It's a joy to see someone being so happy — more so since I made a contribution to that, no matter how small. I'm starting to figure Rosa out, slowly and steadily. Can't share much just yet: idea in the baking.
For the moment I am entirely preoccupied with this album release on Friday. I’ve been running around social media trying to do a bit of promotion and junk, but I can’t expect all that much for returns on it since no one knew it existed until five days ago. Predictably the results are modest. Still, it’s kinda fun trying to manufacture popularity for your work. I also did a synth soldering kit. It’s a cheap Arduino-based unit, but it was lots of fun. I think I’ll be doing lots of soldering after the holidays.
I have to write a buisness case and I keep thinking I've done it, but I keep getting told I just wrote a pitch. So now I have a template and I'm trying to be really specific with my plan. It's difficult because it's so clear in my head, but when I explain it other people just don't get it. It's pretty frustrating to not be able to convey an idea. I'm listening to adventure zone (OftenBen) and I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it. It's not really edited and can be kind of meandering, but it's also an insanely creative story that's a lot of fun to listen to. At least it's making me redesign my game, which is a great side effect. Lastly, I just bought Black 2.0. It's the mattest black paint, the cousin of VantaBlack. One of my friends is planning on using it to paint a miniature which I think will look awesome.
Business case: ("A demonstration that this idea for a new business is a good one.") You must demonstrate how your idea will make money, and where the landmines are that surround you. You are mapping a way to profitability through the minefield. Business case: ("Making your case that buying this thing is a good idea for the company.") How much does the thing cost? How much money does it save, today, in a month, in a year, and over the 3-year life of the thing? Does it save time, as well? Whose time? How much? What could that person/people do with those extra hours you have just saved? That's pretty much it. I do a shitload of this kind of writing, so if you wanna send the thing to me, I'm happy to take a gander and provide edits/comments/feedback.
No, that's a good question. So the training platform is for clients. The theory is that they stop being our clients because our platform is confusing and if they don't learn it they don't see the value in it. With a real training platform we can teach them more efficiently, (or run reports to see what training they did or didn't get) and gain insights into what makes people churn.
"Customer retention" "Reduced churn rate" "New customer acquisition costs $X.XX. Retaining N customers pays for the software." The company I work for has a better than 99% customer retention rate. When you get to an impressive number like that, it becomes a big lever for sales and marketing to use. So customer retention could be a goal in and of itself. On the other hand, if your platform is so hard to use and counterintuitive, then maybe the effort/money is best spent on solving the root problem rather than just putting a band-aid on the symptom. It may be that after your research and cost/benefit analysis, your idea doesn't stand up. Gotta be ready to let it go, if the math doesn't work.
I've pointed out the fact that training efficacy goes down as system complication goes up but they say they're intent on fixing both. I have been specifically tasked with building out the training program though, so I think they're bought into the idea so long as I can make it work.
After a few episodes they kind of clean things up a bit, but it stays wild the whole way through. I would say though that it's a very realistic depiction of what casual DnD looks and sounds like. Not every party is SUPER-SERIOUS-SAVE-THE-KINGDOM oriented. Some people prefer more silliness in their fantasy, and it's hard to begrudge them that. If I was actively trying to run a serious campaign I would restrict it to serious players only.
Spent Monday and Tuesday at home vomiting, most of wednesday in the hospital. Yay chronic Gastroesophageal Reflux. I fucked up, ate too much carbs/sugar, paid for it dearly. Back to work today with a few new prescriptions (I didn't know that they MADE oral lidocaine. FYI, it tastes like alkaline shit.) and a still soured stomach. Today I am tasked with my normal duties PLUS translating the results of three research studies from Doctor-Speak to 6th grade reading level english for the purposes of general distribution in a patient newsletter. I have swiftly learned that even phrases I consider patently simple are far too much, and my end results feel really patronizing as a result. Whatever passes by the IRB I suppose. Here's the most interesting paper, we've established some associations between some SNPs and specific drugs causing liver injuries.
So i just had to play Secretary of Defense in advising the National Security Council on authorizing the CIA to use enhanced interrogation techniques on a guy who may or may not have information on a series of possible suicide bombings around the American embassy in Jordan. Long story short, I had to advocate that we break a bunch of laws because I had to offer a Jacksonian approach to the problem and that’s how I had to do it. My side won and I got the only A in the class. Proud, I guess, but not happy :S I’m sorry Abdul. I hope you make it out of this with most of your fingers.