I was out sick yesterday, and came into work this morning to find out that one of my patients passed away over the weekend. That's my second one ever.

Sorry to hear that, man. But you're right: life goes on. Don't drag yourself any deeper because of something you didn't cause, sad as it may be.

The problem is that I need to stop putting myself in situations that I know I won't enjoy because I think I'm supposed to enjoy them.

I learned that it's okay not to like something, even if people around me do. I'm not them, not do I have to strive to be them. It won't make me more appreciated: just less of myself. I know what my interests are (and you seem to know your own).

Maybe you'll find peace in the knowledge that as hellish as it all may seem to you, you're still a person, and that means - you're a unique story just waiting to be told. As a storyteller, this is why I appreciate people so much: every single one of you has something to share that will astonish or excite me, or even make me learn.

Basically, I'm telling you that you're a unique snowflake, and you may take joy in that.