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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3112 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Dear Hubski, what language do you speak?

I thought you were still living in Hungary.





goobster  ·  3110 days ago  ·  link  ·  

No. I left Hungary more than a decade ago. I'm in Seattle now.

user-inactivated  ·  3110 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If you don't mind me asking, why did you leave?

goobster  ·  3109 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Lots of reasons... Hungary was joining the EU, and residency requirements were going to be much stricter. I was self-employed, so didn't have an employer (and their lawyers!) to advocate for me.

I'd been there for many years, and was missing my family back in the US.

And my Hungarian fiancee had just left me, so I was feeling dejected and lonely, and kind of done with Hungarian women.

And finally, Viktor Orban was changing from being the heroic young leader of the rebellion against the old Communist apparatchiks, into a serious nutcase right wing fascist.

All those different factors came together to tell me it was time to sell and get out. Go do something else. So I left.

user-inactivated  ·  3109 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Those all seem like right reasons to leave, except the EU requirements one.

How was life back in the US after years in Hungary?

user-inactivated  ·  3108 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.
goobster  ·  3108 days ago  ·  link  ·  

A disaster. Five years of feeling utterly lost and unconnected.

I was no longer "just an American," but I wasn't a "European" either. I was something in between, and it took me a LONG time to find my feet again.

user-inactivated  ·  3108 days ago  ·  link  ·  

But you've found your feet, didn't you? How did that go? What made you feel more belonging to the US again?

goobster  ·  3108 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I did. It took a lot of flailing around, heavy drinking, alienating several girlfriends in a row, buying a motorcycle and just riding around the country for a month or so, and finally finding a job I could really commit myself to.

I also learned not to talk about anything other than America. The fastest way to stop a conversation with an American is to express the fact that there may be somewhere outside of our borders. Their eyes will glaze over... they will cock their head to one side... and then kinda wander off in a daze.

I actually use this when I am annoyed by someone and want them to go away. I just start talking about living overseas, and what life was like there, and they promptly leave. "Right? I know! When I was living in Budapest I had a washing machine, but no dryer. So I had this wire clothes rack I'd hang my clothes out to dry on, and put it up in the living room, and... oh. Ok. Yeah. Good talking to you! See you later!"

user-inactivated  ·  3107 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I also learned not to talk about anything other than America. The fastest way to stop a conversation with an American is to express the fact that there may be somewhere outside of our borders. Their eyes will glaze over... they will cock their head to one side... and then kinda wander off in a daze.

Jeez. May it be the circle of people you find yourself into? Quite disenchanting would be to learn that most people in the US are like that.

    It took a lot of flailing around, heavy drinking, alienating several girlfriends in a row, buying a motorcycle and just riding around the country for a month or so, and finally finding a job I could really commit myself to.

Quite a ride, that was. I hope you're doing fine now and nothing like that touches you again.