I realized today I sure picked just a great week to get clean. Turning down friends for some fun today was pretty hard, but I know it's the best choice. I've gotten into some pretty heavy shit recently, and I realized last weekend that I had to cut back a lot if I wanted to avoid a much more serious problem. So, I'm getting clean. Like really clean, not even booze or weed. I know I will probably use them again in the future, maybe even regularly, but I think I basically need a total reset to get away from weekly use of harder substances. But today was hard, especially because the nicotine withdrawal hit it's peak today. But, I've got to get a job soon, so I need to get clean anyways, which makes for a good excuse for casual friends I don't want to explain substance abuse habits to. I have a lot more decisions about quitting than I thought. What all should I quit? For how long? If it's not regular, is it okay? What about Prom? Graduation? What do I do with my friends? Do I even keep the same friends? Is this trivial on a larger scale or should I maybe consider meetings? All the same, it's pushing me in some new directions. I've started praying again. I got over my reservations about asking a girl who doesn't really party, and now have a great prom date. I can start writing again. That last one is really strange, because one of reasons I started messing around with psychoactives was to have new experiences and view-points I could apply to my writing. But then it ended up stopping me from being creatively productive. In other news, I should start studying for AP tests. I also need to make a college decision by next weekend. Which is terrifying. My dad and I are trying to figure out costs, and I can barely comprehend the numbers because they are ten times the amount of money I have ever handled in my life. Not just at one time in my life, but all the money through my whole life. Before, I always told curious friends that I really didn't get stressed. But now, I'm pushed to my limits, and there's no way I can't call this stress. Absolutely terrifying, paralyzing, religion-driving stress. But I'm getting my shit worked out, and it hasn't been as bad of three days as I thought it would be.
I was in the same boat as you with the college thing just two months ago. Just know, once you settle on the college that your heart and your financial reality can agree on, once you've finally committed, it's easily the most satisfying weight off of your shoulders that you will ever feel. Good luck! I also got clean, been about a month now. Well I still drink every now and then and I'm working on cigarettes, but I was deep enough into the greenery that it was an accomplishment, "clean" enough for me :D I had no trouble dropping it, and once I explained my decision to my friends they were awesomely supportive, and still are. Just today I joined a circle of friends for a massive 4/20 sesh, and not a single person asked me twice when passing the Percy Jointson. Not being buttered all day isn't so bad. Again, wish you the best of luck, remember it's all temporary as fuck.