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It's so beautiful how you share your feelings and what's really going on in your life, both the outward events and the inward responses. I love how you recognize your sadness and that love is at the deepest root of your sadness, Lil. It's beautiful to see how you are journeying through this part of your life with both your eyes and heart so open. I'd like offer that there is holiness in that love and that sadness too.