I can totally relate to this. The only two things my mother ever taught me were work ethic and a love for numbers. She still likes to act like I'm 12 even though I'm 27 and haven't lived with her since I was 14. She seems to think she can control how many drinks i have at dinner and everything. Honestly I just don't ask her for help with anything except advice once in a while. I like to pretend that of I told her that we barely talk for this reason it would probably break her heart but like others said "do what is right for you, not others". You can be a good person and still do what you have to do to be okay. My mother and even her dad are firm believers on the almighty dollar. To them, nothing is more important than having money and making everything you have look as nice as possible. They would rather I fix the aesthetics of the car than the breaks which is incredibly stupid. I relate to your not caring about money or how nice of things people perceive you to own as well. It's all about being happy no matter what your budget is. No matter where in life you find yourself you need to do what is going to make you happy. That is not to say that some foresight isn't necessary. Your parents do care about you, even if it seems like it's their selfishness that drives their actions towards you. They are doing what they know to do. It may not be what you needed or currently need but it is out of love or they wouldn't waste their time. They just only see one right answer to life. Their right answer. Hard to teach someone who needs a different answer than anything you know are can even conceive of. Never let anyone tell you that your writing is bad. Even if it is (not saying it is, I haven't read your writing yet. Will start) it doesn't matter because it's your passion and that is what leads you down the path you need to follow.
May I ask how that happened? I never thought about it this way. They must have some interest in me, I guess, even if it's misguided. What do you think I do, then? What if I have to tell them something they don't want to hear - one of those nonsensical answers of mine again?and haven't lived with her since I was 14
It may not be what you needed or currently need but it is out of love or they wouldn't waste their time.
Hard to teach someone who needs a different answer than anything you know are can even conceive of.
Well for starters I was 14 I wanted some say in what i was doing. We argued a lot. Never saw eye to eye. I was always under her thumb and needed to break free. I wanted to experience my own things and learn from my own mistakes instead of her preventing them from happening for me. So I moved in with my dad who is the polar opposite. His rules were 1 don't get brought home by the cops 2 I don't want to talk to teachers 3 don't wake me up. (That one was assumed not spoken). I did my own thing, made a lot of mistakes. Hurt a few people (not physically). But I learned a lot and I wouldn't go back.
Sometimes a different perspective is all we need.
Well that's the hard part. Only you can decide. No matter what you should always be honest about how you feel, respectfully if possible. Brutally honest if necessary. They need to know that you are your own person, that means you need to act like your own person and become your own person. And that means you can't rely on them for pretty much anything. It won't happen over night. It will be hard and your relationship may never be the same again (hopefully for the better). If you need advice you can still ask them they're opinion. Take it in stride knowing they are going to try to push their ways on you. Take what information you see as helpful and disregard the rest. Thank them for their advise and say you will give it some consideration. This let's them know their opinion matters to you without just doing what they say. Me personally, I tend to make my own way. I'm lucky that my mother is now a travel nurse so she is only in the state for a month a couple times a year. We get along much better for short periods of time. She is still my family and I still love her even if I don't always like her. I also make sure to always visit when she is in town and she does her best to keep her opinions about my life to herself unless I ask. Most of the time. She is still my mother after all and she will always want to push me on the right direction as she sees it but she is respectful and about. =p Sorry for the format. I'm on a phone and its a lot of work.