As a trans women, I feel obligated to provide my perspective.
This is an incredibly complex issue, and I will not be able to discuss all of the different aspects of it. While I do think it's important to understand that the experience of every trans person is different, generally speaking, being trans is not like being gay, lesbian, or bi. There is a lot more going on.
(There are some trans people who don't suffer from gender dysphoria, but for the purposes of this comment, I'm going to sidestep them and the issues they raise) Most people know that your brain doesn't finish developing until you are about 25 years old. To the average person, it stands to reason that the decision to undergo Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is not one that you should be making unless you can appropriately understand the long-term consequences. Since you can't really do this until your brain finishes developing, it follows logically that you should delay the decision to undergo HRT until this age.
But unfortunately, time is working against trans people in this regard, because the physical effects of puberty have long since made their mark by this age.
What may seem like wonderful, normal, or perhaps mildly annoying traits for cis people can be a source of crippling, incurable stress, anxiety, and/or depression (more often referred to as 'gender dysphoria') for trans people. This can, and frequently does, lead to suicide for trans people.
But this treatment, and its availability, can have unintended consequences. The social repercussions of delaying puberty can be very serious (teenagers can be really mean), and unsupportive parents can use puberty blockers to buy more time for them to try to convince or coerce their children into taking a path that they will later regret. Providing children with unbiased information about gender dysphoria is vital in that it builds confidence in trans children who are not confused or in denial about their gender dysphoria, which helps them get the treatment they need by standing up to adult figures who would claim to know better and suggest alternative treatments.
But it is also vital to helping children who would otherwise fail to recognize their symptoms. Information about gender dysphoria needs to be provided repeatedly, both early on and later when children are on the verge of starting puberty, because confidence is a hell of a thing that can take a lot to build up, and denial is a hell of a thing that can take a lot to overcome. Trans people, and their parents/guardians, can struggle to come to terms with the fact that their gender dysphoria is a symptom of a disorder that can only be treated with HRT. This is especially true in light of the fact that gender dysphoria is something that virtually always worsens with age; This is why you see older people transitioning instead of simply continuing to cope in other ways. I say this as someone who had OBVIOUS dysphoria as a child and teenager, but failed to recognize it until the age of 22. I was able to do this only as a result of the information I found online through /r/asktransgender on Reddit. I suffered many consequences as a result of my denial, although I should count myself lucky in that I did not commit suicide despite a frequently overwhelming desire to do so. Many trans people are not so lucky. Tl;dr: Puberty can be DEADLY for trans children, but puberty blockers should be a last resort for children who are still unsure of their gender identity after repeatedly receiving information about gender dysphoria. Parents/guardians and doctors should not casually consider a treatment that undermines the feelings and social development of children that are already struggling to comes to terms with an extremely difficult decision.
It's important to realize just how devastating this can be for some trans people.
Biological females can develop wide hips & breasts, and will have a smaller rib cage. Biological males can develop broad shoulders & facial hair, and will have a larger rib cage. These traits will be finished developing long before the brain does.
Some of these effects of puberty cannot be reversed without undergoing extremely expensive, and potentially unsafe medical procedures.
These procedures are considered "cosmetic" by virtually all insurance companies, which means you must pay for them out-of-pocket. Many trans people cannot afford them.
Other effects cannot be reversed at all with current medical technology.
As coffeesp00ns mentioned, puberty blockers can delay these effects to give the child more time to seriously introspect and weigh their feelings against the reality of transitioning.
The Louis Theroux documentary 'Transgender Kids' really opened my eyes on this issue. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to learn more.
Looks like I have NO idea how the formatting works on this site. Sorry, everyone. I just started using this site today.
Thank you for the personal insight in to this. I just learned a lot and I appreciate it. It sounds like there is no simple answer for how a parent to should help their child through this. From what you can gather from the video and the NPR article, do you think these specific parents are taking the right approach? Edit: Also, welcome to Hubski! Glad you found us.Most people know that your brain doesn't finish developing until you are about 25 years old.
I actually didn't realize this. What does it mean that it is "still developing." Physically, what is still happening up there? How does this effect our gender identification?
As far as I know, the part of the brain that develops in your 20's is the frontal cortex, which is responsible for 'executive mental processes' (i.e. long-term planning).
Kids can say and do things for reasons that adults tend to overlook. A child who seems very happy that their parents are involving them in non-traditional gender roles & activities might simply be reacting positively to the extra attention. In that same vein, a child who seems upset about their gender might simply be reacting to newly discovered gender stereotypes. If they were mocked or told off because they were participating in non-traditional behavior, chances are they were given an explanation along the lines of "because you're a 'insert sex here''. But kids don't really understand what that means, or how vast its implications are. They probably think that it's merely an arbitrary rule that is limiting what they are allowed to do. Gender roles are understandably frustrating, but they alone are not a reason to transition. For example, a young boy who likes to play with dolls and wear skirts might end up transitioning, or they might just end up as a man who likes to put on makeup and wear dresses. It's really hard (impossible, I think) to distinguish between these two possibilities at a young age.
I checked out the NPR article, and I think that the parents in that case, and in any case, should treat lightly, and possibly even reconsider their decision to switch pronouns and names. That is a huge step that can reinforce an identity that might be based on superficial, childish feelings that will not carry on over time.
This is why recognizing gender dysphoria is so important. It's usually a much more outwardly obvious symptom that adults can diagnose, and I think it should be the deciding factor in determining whether or not a child should transition.
I just remember all the weird stuff I told my parents when I was that age. There's no way that kid understands the ramifications of transitioning. Nothing against transgender people but I really hope they don't do anything permanent until the kid's old enough to make that decision.
I met a 4 year old whose grandmother brought them to the Trans support group I was going to. They repeatedly, over and over, insisted they were a boy. I don't fall into this narrative, I figured shit out later in life, but I've known kids of a variety of ages, and they all knew who they were very, very solidly. there was no "wishy-washyness" The difference between what you told your mom and dad, versus what these kids are doing, is Sustained behaviour. This is not one day I'm a girl, one day I'm a boy, it's behaviours like pressing down to hide genetalia, it's repeated, consistent insistence on "girl" clothing, or "boy" clothing, and several other indicators. (specifically the quoted text from the DSM-IV on that page) Do they understand the societal ramifications of transitioning? No, it takes experience to learn that you're going to be hated for something you can't change about yourself. But they do know who they are. As it stands currently, the only thing that can be done until the age of consent (16-18, generally), is to put a child on Puberty Blockers. All this does is stave off puberty until the child is of legal age to make the decision. If the child decides not to transition, then all they have is a late puberty - no fuss, no muss. Up until puberty, kids look pretty similar, so generally no action is taken except to let the child societally present as the gender they prefer.I really hope they don't do anything permanent until the kid's old enough to make that decision.
Thanks for giving your opinion, I'll be the first to admit that I'm ignorant of their plight My opinion is not so much based on issues with transgenders right to transition, but trepidations on children being allowed to do things they could regret that are not repairable. I didn't know about puberty blockers, that seems like a good compromise. Thanks for writing all that out.
That's a really interesting way of looking at it. Like there's always kids out there that want to be fire trucks or attack helicopters or something that's just overzealous, and I thought that gender identity with this was the same thing. I figured that it was just them going "I'm a boy!" and that's about it. I never knew that some had sustained behavior that made what they wanted something they actually believed - rather than a phase that they went through. I think the puberty blockers are a pretty nice middle ground. One one hand, if they realize that they didn't want to transition, they wouldn't have to try to reverse everything. On the other, if it's what they actually want, they can just go ahead with it when they're allowed to consent. Something as life changing as transitioning shouldn't be something that people just wake up one morning and decide "Hey, I'm going to be a guy from now on." There's social ramifications. There's years of treatment. It's not like going "I'm going to be a cyclist." - it's a lot more serious. As an adult, you should be trusted to think through your actions, but I can understand why you wouldn't want a 15 year old to make such a large decision while they're that immature (yet, we plan their whole lives over the decisions they make at that time period). If you put the decision off, while keeping them, essentially, a blank slate, it can help then think about their decision without having to force them through as much misidentity (from themselves).