Student body elections. I'm running for president against my 5-year rival. The last time we ran at the same time, we tied. There are 1,000 kids in my school. The competition is pretty much at full pace and we're a week before official campaign declarations. Speeches to each of the four grades coming up in 2 weeks, luckily that's my strong point. Competitiveness is at the point that I'm on google searching for common political tactics and how to counter attacks, how to strategize as an incumbent vs. a competitor, etc. He's already tried to pull some crazy shit that I can elaborate on later, idk if I should be firing back or not. There's no way to tell who has the upper hand at this point, but he's far more "popular" than I am. This hasn't stopped me from winning in the past, but I'm not so sure this time because the "Student Organization" we're running for ties into the entire school, as opposed to being a "Class Cabinet" presidentdoing work relating to just our grade. I'm pumped and anxious at the same time. Tips?
Wallace Stanley Sayre Student body bullshit, Election notwithstanding, is a nerfy sort of corner of politics. Y'all are basically figureheads with no real power whose main function is to build consensus and give a voice to the student body. As such, emphasize that the biggest asset in a student body elected official is the ability to work with others so that grievances are heard, so that desires are achieved and so that the students get what they want from the administration while the administration can successfully communicate with the student body. A good student politician is a talented and charismatic interlocutor, not a talented and charismatic leader. If you want to dig into it more, you want to be more like a union rep than a government official. Emphasize that your job is to get everyone on the same page and make sure that students get what they want from an administration that cannot be compelled to say "yes." You don't even need to say "my opponent is running a divisive campaign" because by showing you're attempting to build consensus you're leading by example. Smile a lot, speak honestly, and solve problems, don't make more. Student government is where bureaucrats shine, not leaders... don't be afraid to point that out, and don't be afraid to wear that mantle like it's something you're proud of doing."Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low."
Record and post one of the speeches for comments. I assume you tailor your speech to each of the four grades. Address his crazy shit with brilliant wit. "My opponent says I don't know my ass from my elbow. He's right. I don't know my ass -- my opponent, however, knows my ass intimately." hmmmm, no that might not sound right.
"My opponent says I don't know my ass from my elbow. He's right. I don't know my ass -- my opponent, however, knows my ass intimately." hmmmm, no that might not sound right.
-This is why I love pubski. I almost spit out my wine...
steve crushed a young girl's long-running dream of being our senior class president by giving a rousing off-the-cuff speech without a mic or shoes. It was an incredible thing to behold. She forgave him, and they became friends. Now steve has to plan our class reunions.
Go pabbles! My senior year student body president is still a good friend. He made this, most recently: Good stuff.
It's all very much akin to what may be the worst teen drama film of all time. Writing it out, I'm half-laughing in ultimate cringe, and half-questioning why I go to school every day. We'll call him Matt. Matt has fucked all the girls, gotten great grades, and lined himself up since freshman year as the guy who's headed to West Point. Is that last bit familiar? Almost comically, it's as if Matt and I are identical in our desires and objectives. Many people who don't really know either of us have told both of us that we're "like the same people." At the same time though, we're complete opposites. Clarifying disclaimer, I haven't fucked all the girls and my grades are okay. Matt's family is very affluent, which may contribute to him being a stunning sociopath. He dated a girl, we'll call her Amy, for about a year. Amy isn't terribly bright, an arch-dutchess of over-entitled suburban teen drama, and also a very broken person– with all the personal issues she may have, it turns out that Matt has played a direct role in them. Matt cheated on her constantly, and apparently hit her a few times as well– she wasn't the first girlfriend to claim this. She was treated badly, and was never really given the resources growing up to know how to deal with it. Amy told me yesterday that she had decided to run for president against Matt, just to get the satisfaction of beating him. This is immature and from most perspectives stupid, and I think she knew that. Nobody will vote for her, she isn't liked because of her promiscuity and being prone to acting-out (being drunk/high often) in class, etc. Also, she just straight-up admitted she has absolutely no interest in actually running the organization. She just wants to beat Matt. Ooookay. Well, today, Amy told me that Matt had talked to her and asked her to "encourage" me to step down and run for VP. Amy decided to tell me this with, again, a comically dramatic text that read "meet me in the stairwell of the science wing" where nobody goes, where I got to keep from bursting out laughing in her face as she sat close to me, with a jacket zipped down over quite deliberately shirtless skin, and told me that she wants to double-cross Matt. Have me run VP, support her in her Pres campaign, and work together to defeat Matt. Hm. As scary as it is that a young girl actually did this, her and I have hooked up before so I guess it isn't really that big of a deal but still like talk-to-a-counselor level of crazy and I'm still pretty concerned about it? :S So, you know, she told me exactly what Matt asked her to do and did exactly that, but pitched it as a double-cross against him. Idk. If you're saying "WTF, that makes no sense?!" yeah I'm with you. Even if she genuinely wanted to beat Matt, knowing she doesn't actually have a chance means she shouldn't be trying, let alone encouraging me to drop out of the race with boobs. I told her I'd think about it, and the next morning convinced her in a few texts that if we want to be partners then she should run for VP against the very easy opposition, and let me handle my campaign as president. She agreed, funnily enough, though I don't think it will be healthy for me to associate myself in any way with her for the race. We've been decent friends for a while actually, but if I could explain her personality and reputation, it's just no bueno. That's pretty much that. Weird, weird shit right?
Part Dos. Within 2 hours, from Amy conceding her campaign to the end of the school day today, I get a text from Matt saying "I have a deal for you, let's talk in the caf." We meet up and walk down to the caf, the whole time he's saying "I've got a deal that you can't refuse." I was 'dying,' as Amy might say. Anyway, we get there and he sits me down and explains the deal. He says, "you know I'm a little rich Jewish boy pabs, and well, I've got all the connections for West Point: you know, I've got two generals lined up to get my recommendations in for WP, I've got a colonel lined up, I've got my dad's business partners with a direct line to Senator Cory Booker. I'm gonna get into West Point like that." <Commence Pabs not being able to decide between rolling eyes and clenching fists. Pabs clenches eyes.> "I've set up my image as the guy who's going to West Point since day one freshman year. It's a great image, it's brought me much success. Well, my dad isn't letting me apply to West Point, and so I want to make you the deal of dropping out of the race for president, taking the VP spot, and in exchange I won't compete against you as another student applying to WP from this school." There has never been two kids from the same school admitted to the Academy, is his reasoning. If he drops out from applying, not that I have any way to ensure this, then I would be much more likely to get in. Well I threw some questions to him like "why does the Presidency matter to you then if not to help get into WP" and "wouldn't it be silly to drop your four-year dream for a single year doing intense amounts of completely arbitrary work" and so on. He wasn't really able to answer any of these questions. I told him I'll consider his offer and let him know tomorrow. I'm feeling a strong "No thanks" on that offer, but the fact of the matter is this: the galactic magnitude of bullshit I've had to experience in the course of these last two days has seriously made me reconsider some of the principles of human social behavior, which I thought could not be bent to allow such disastrous strangeness and stupidity. Oh well!
Like, ZOMG. For the record, my class: - got pregnant (4x) - committed suicide (3x) - got murdered (2x, but not until after graduation) - murdered (1x, not until well after graduation) - stabbed each other (1x, literally outside of class) - brought guns to school (one of my friends was very nearly shot by accident next to his locker) But this melodromatic Machiavelli mayhem? Yeah, we'da looked at each other and said "what are you, nine years old?" I didn't fully understand that all the classist bullshit they propagate on TV was real life for some people until I moved to LA. You? Apparently you go to Gossip Girl High. I mean, Dayum D00d. So two things: 1) High School is that halcyon age where children transition to adults while rubbing their genitals together and attempting inebriation via organic compounds otherwise unconsidered outside of prison. Not all people accomplish this at the same rate. It sounds as if you are surrounded by 7th graders that happen to be juniors. 2) Two years from now no one will give a shit about how you handle this except you. You are a self-aware, principled young man and if you do something you aren't proud of it'll bug you for a long time to come. Follow your conscience, you'll do fine. Oh, and take notes. 'cuz who knows? 10 years from now you might write this all up for Vanity Fair.
Man. I'm glad you wrote all this out. I think it would take me a similar number of words to describe the high school I went to, which was a charming, made-for-tv mashup of your experience and kb's. Think, like, Weeds season 1. Money, but also random pointless danger. Anyway, I'm never going to bother, so I enjoyed reading your story when you did.
Man, I wish people at my school got this into the government. I wanna play political games and build my chops getting my agenda passed, but no one else gives a shit, so I've written our Constitution and every piece of legislation ever passed, all of which passed unopposed. The closest I got to a political confrontation was a dude that repeatedly broke our laws refusing to leave our lunchroom (the only actual punishment we have), at which point I just talked to the head of high school and got him officially kicked out. Jealousy aside, has no one pointed out that Matt literally said ? So regardless of how his little 'deal' plays out, he's not gonna be competition. There is literally no reason for you to drop out of the race. Unless I'm misunderstanding?my dad isn't letting me apply to West Point
So regardless of how his little 'deal' plays out, he's not gonna be competition. There is literally no reason for you to drop out of the race.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE Douchecanoe (DC): "Hey pabs, if you don't run for Pres, I won't apply to West Point!" pabs: "Oh well okay then!" shrugs / drops out of Pres election six months pass DC: "Oh hahaha! I won the student election, and I'm going to west point anyway! Look, I fucked you twice!" pabs: ".....oh." __________ Like c'mon dude, trust people a little less here. "Two houses, both alike in infamy, in fair Verona where we lay our scene..." except it's not Verona, it's high school, and it's a pissing contest, and whoever crushes the other most is the winningest. The whole point is Matt thinks he's smart and is trying to get Pabst to drop out for no verifiable reason. If Pabst does drop out, Matt can be lying (of course he wouldn't suggest this to Pabst, but if Pabst is smart he can see this) and Pabst won't even find out for months.
In re-reading, I see where the mis-communication was in this series of comments - I was pretty sure there had to be one, because what i was reading just wasn't making any sense. You're pointing out that Matt's suggested reason for Pabst dropping out is, as opposed to spurious, completely independent of the election; that it will happen whether Pabst agrees to drop out or not. So of course, Pabst wouldn't drop out. I hadn't considered that angle but it's extremely valid. I find it likely Matt is, well, a high school idiot, and probably made up this reason, and so Pabst should disregard the offer, but you're right as well. Sorry if I seemed testy, I just wasn't "getting" it.
WTF!? Also, is everyone else in your school blind? If Matt's a cheater that beats his girlfriends with such shady morals like you describe, how can he still be so popular? I mean, maybe he's fun to hang out with or stuff but definitely not trustworthy... Is he that good at hiding it? Agreed with Galen, he literally has no leverage to make you drop out and he's trying really hard because you have a high chance of winning. Go Pabs! Crush him. And let us all know how that goes.