Update on the lab-drama

As some of you already mentioned, the situation was very unstable. I could feel the tension in the air, I don't know how this is possible.

So I decided to do what has to be done. Wait till monday where the new month starts (so he can't send me home right away) and tell the boss that I do not intend to do my PhD thesis in his lab. Officially, I didn't start my PhD yet, because I did not register my thesis and subject, so it counts as a research job.

Now to answer the question of what I did. I really thought about going with a bang. Tell that guy what is really fucked up here. But as some of you also mentioned, its not the wise solution. I would feel great, but I could put up some huge rocks into my future career. So I decided to tell him everything I dislike that has nothing to do with him.

When is the right time to go to a boss and tell him that you are leaving? I think there is not right time. I took the first free window to get finished with this. My heart rate and blood pressure were so high, I could hear my pulse. This happens sometimes when I am extremely nervous.

And so I went to his office. Knocked on the door, opened. I asked if he had a few minutes. He said he is busy. I told him its important. He asked if we could talk about it later. I told him "no" and went in. I didn't talk much around it and told him that I thought about it and I am not staying for my PhD in his lab.

He was steady as fuck. Which surprised me. He apparently expected this. And then he told me that he tried to keep me by making the project interesting and giving me some space. He also knew that he could not address the other problems I had with the job (conferences: he still thinks its a waste of time, teaching: he doesn't like teaching).

It went pretty smooth actually. We agreed that I will finish the experiments I have running by the end of the month and be gone in march. I hoped for an extra month, but I am also satisfied with what I got.

He now cut me out of all meetings, delegated the project to John (yay for that!) and ordered me to teach John everything I know.

Mary is still distanced. I lost all respect towards her. She annoys me now more than ever. I wonder if I should continue my literature research in her project just to mess with her. I feel bad for thinking this way, but I really don't like my trust to be used against me ><

So here it starts again. Where do I go from here? I still don't know exactly. I just know its going to be a PhD and I know how my supervisor should not be.

Thanks for the good advice last week!