Intent doesn't really... matter, is my point. You are still furthering the idea that hey, its ok to make fun of these people, which can fuel others' bigorty inadvertently, and that's not okay. I don't care how well you mean. I'm not saying you're a racist bigot or sexist or whatever for making a rude joke. You're not really helping, either, however, and the onus is not on me to be able to discern between your ignorance and malice so your feelings don't get hurt. To put that above the well-being and lives of legitimately oppressed groups is the worrying part. I don't care how mean those darn SJW types are. e. but yeah i'll take a chill pill and peace right out like i had been. no idea why i decided to post again, no one likes what i got to say
She's saying there's no shortage of excuses to be mad at what people do accidentally and that when you do, all you're doing is increasing the general level of hatred. If you actually want things to change, you have to be conscious of intent. A person who unthinkingly makes a racist joke is going to be doubly vigilant to never make another racist joke. A person who knowingly, willingly makes a racist joke needs to know it's not okay to do that around you. Both people will have their behavior shaped but the approach taken must be directly opposite in either case.Intent doesn't really... matter, is my point. You are still furthering the idea that hey, its ok to make fun of these people, which can fuel others' bigorty inadvertently, and that's not okay. I don't care how well you mean.
Well, i guess the question comes down to whether or not you feel like human interaction is designed to increase understanding, or to serve you and your personal needs. If I pull someone aside and say "hey, they joke you made is not okay for x reason", then I'm not furthering the idea that these jokes are okay. And that's the situation that both I, and the person you were originally replying to, are describing as an alternative to getting mad and making a scene about it. Even calmly bringing it up at the time, in front of others, is fine as long as you are not demonizing, or talking down to the person. Just make it clear that it's not cool. ^ you know, KB summarized this much better than I did, so just read his comment in the stead of this section. I would argue that, as a human being interacting with other human beings, that that IS your job - to discern meaning in conversation. The point of language is to be understood, and the point of conversation is to ensure proper understanding between others as we share ideas and experiences. To argue that it is not your "job", or that the "onus is not on you" is just shifting the blame. That's like a carpentry teacher saying "well it's not MY problem that you don't understand how to build cabinets". No, the onus is on both people, at an academic level. The teacher must do all they can to be understood, and the student must be willing to work with the teacher until they understand. Does this occur as often as it should? no, because some teachers don't care enough, some students don't care enough, and sometimes neither have the time because of standardized testing. However, you are emotionally invested, and you have the ability to MAKE time. if a student is willing, then there's nothing you can't teach them - and most students are willing.the onus is not on me to be able to discern between that and malice