Just to be clear, you are talking about forgiving yourself for past behaviour, not forgiving others for wrongs done to you. You ask some good questions B_C and it's nice to see you in this space again. It reminds me a little of Step 9 of AA's 12-step program that involves making amends to others and understanding that making amends is not exactly the same as asking for forgiveness. It's also about showing intention to do no further wrong. (Mind you, I'm not an AA expert. There's lots to learn from AA programs and writings on line, and they offer some answers to your question: "What does it mean to forgive?") You say If those people still love you, perhaps they are waiting to hear from you. It seems to me that it would be hard to sincerely forgive yourself without first acknowledging to the other people an awareness of the pain you caused them and a realization that they may no longer trust you. Your hope is that they will one day see that you have changed direction and are worthy of their love and trust. What does it really mean to forgive yourself? I'm not sure we ever really can or should totally forgive ourselves. But I think we can and should acknowledge wrongs done and take a new path. Edit: We forgive ourselves by realizing that when the wrongs were done, we were the person we were. We had the needs, the pain, the awareness that we had. Now we are addressing our past deficits. We may not totally forgive ourselves, but we accept our past self, a self reacting to everything we faced; and move towards our reconstructed self, a self that considers choices before reacting. I'm not sure if that is as clear as I'd like it to be. May edit again. Sentence yourself to some kind of community service as a way of showing the sincerity of your new path. It depends on what one's current relationship is with one's self. What is it like now? Do you give yourself a LOT of leeway? Do you make a million excuses for yourself? Would you trust you?but I've really done some nasty stuff that has hurt a lot of people, including those nearest to me.
and now you want to forgive yourself and unblock those chakras.How does that change your relationship with yourself?
You make some really great points, as always. I'm under the impression that forgiving oneself would be similar to forgiving another, but I could be wrong. I sort of answered your question of would I trust myself in the previous paragraph, but I'll answer it more explicitly. Maybe. So long as I feel the guilt of what I've done, yes. But living with that isn't worth it, and I'm coming to realize that. But in light of the previous paragraph, yes. I trust myself. I know I will not do repeat those actions. Positive thinking. Thoughts create reality. My fiance recommened the book The Untethered Soul and it has done wonders helping me realize how to move forward. It's not your average self-help book. It really is enlightening.If those people still love you, perhaps they are waiting to hear from you.
Those who I love most have already forgiven me, which is the strange part. They've forgiven me but I have yet to do so for myself. It's also about showing intention to do no further wrong.
This is a tough one. I've been using the guilt as my defense against doing further wrong. Sometimes I feel as if that's what's preventing me from repeating my actions. Although, I have been getting to the root of the issue and working on healing that part of myself. But it almost feels like I'd be jumping off of a cliff if I were to be in that situation again and had forgiven myself. But maybe that's where it is. To be certain I would make wise decisions regardless. To be so utterly confident that it wouldn't happen again. Hmm...that may have been an internal revelation.
B_C -This above quote raises questions as does this one: We forgive others so that we are not personally weighed down with resentment for their past behaviour. We forgive others because sometimes we can see the bigger context of their behaviour and perhaps see that we too had some part in it. We forgive others because we love them and want to continue a renewed relationship with them -- we forgive them, but we are a little more cautious in our dealings with them. We learn to protect ourselves. So yes, forgiving others is different. How do we forgive ourselves? (and I too have done foolish bad things, so:) By "community service" - what I actually mean is doing more good than bad, actively going beyond the comfortable to help others, making amends perhaps indirectly. Daily. Consciously moving in the direction of goodness. What's done cannot be undone, as Lady MacBeth says. Sadly, there's no liquid paper for bad behaviour. Unblock those chakras with good deeds. Does that make any sense? I'll check out that book.I'm under the impression that forgiving oneself would be similar to forgiving another, but I could be wrong.
Those who I love most have already forgiven me, which is the strange part. They've forgiven me but I have yet to do so for myself.
I think forgiving others is very different from forgiving ourselves.