I think that it's accurate that I had to learn not to trust my parents growing up.

This is like, hella accurate (describing me as the dumper)

often the first clue the about-to-be-dumped have that something is wrong is the avoidant’s move to break up with them

Now I am wondering if my habit of beginning to reveal Terrible Secrets About Myself to people as we begin to get involved is a part of this attachment style - or is it honesty? I have always felt I am trying to be honest about who I am when I tell partners things about my past that I feel would alter their opinion of me. I have always felt I would rather have them know now, than be unpleasantly surprised later.

Another article says that this attachment type inevitably finds themselves disappointed with their partners and so ends things. This is true for me. I often feel that no one can live up to all my expectations in the long-term - inevitably, eventually, I am disappointed. I realize these expectations aren't always reasonable and - gee let me stretch my memory - I honestly try to suppress the unreasonable ones, but I think the other half of it is that I don't discuss the disappointments or expectations with my partners. Like instead of saying "Hey you haven't had a job and you've sat on the couch and smoked weed every day for a month now, can we work on this?" I will say "You're not doing anything to help yourself? I'm out."

I'm not interested in mothering a partner and unfortunately I know several couples that have that dynamic so I'm sure my adversity to it is reinforced.

I want someone who is a motivated self-starter with their own goals who makes motions towards achieving them. That is what I find impressive. That's what I admire.

Sigh. All of these are interesting things to think about. I think I'm more emotionally aware than the average bear but I don't like talking about it at all. My bartender the other day was talking - kind of about what kind of a relationship would be nice - he was saying it would be nice to have someone you could just chill out with, and talk to, and have a good time with. I had had three drinks by this point, and it was only then that I was willing to say - and speaking slowly to carefully phrase my words - "It would be nice to have someone" [pause] "to hang out with."

Woo hoo emotional disclosure lol.

kleinbl00 we've unlocked the secrets to my being