No problemo bb. Complicated subject, many thoughts and feels, and appreciate the validation. It just felt like you were telling me I didn't have to explain (which you were) and I was like "Oh but, I think part of this is that I want to!" IRL if I tell a casual friend or family member I don't want to have kids because I think I'd be a shit mom everyone is just like "OH NO YOU WOULDN'T" and then they coo about it, and I'm like "Dude, you guys really do not know who I am, and you're saying that because you think that everyone wants to be a mother and a good one at that." It's similar to my mother telling me I just need to raise my dating standards while I sit and think, "maybe I really am not looking to find anyone to settle down with; aka I make the dating choices I do because I am not interested in anything permanent."