There is a lot in here, Mitchell. I'm glad you didn't shy away from some of the more complex issues regarding the masculinity or the male ego or whatever you want to call it.

I was never told explicitly that I am entitled to women’s bodies, but it was communicated to me anyway. Sure, it was in the context of being “man enough,” being “good” to women (often in terms of placing women on the proverbial pedestal), and for a woman, most often expressed in terms of earning potential or physical prowess, but also in other terms of proving my worth. These were ways I would “earn” the exercise of my inherent right to “possess” one or more women.

This concept is introduced to all of us at a very, very young age and I don't think that men should ever feel bad about thinking / feeling this way. From watching Disney movies, to lyrics in songs (I swear some of the sappy country songs are worse than hardcore rap in this case), to watching adults around you interact - the world all about the powerful man role, the seduction, the flawless women on a pedestal, etc. In addition, you would be hard pressed to find a women who doesn't enjoy the game of seduction / sex / love / companionship on some level. This game, especially if you watch seduction take place from the outside, only strengthens mens' desires to obtain the women and their underlying understanding of how the world works.

Call it gender roles or stereotypes or a fault of society - frankly it doesn't matter. This is the world we are in and until we can somehow move above it, violent crimes and rape will occur. Men must come to fully understand and accept that they don't own women or deserve women and begin to look at women on equal ground. It's easy to put down on paper like it's a simple problem with a solution - but it's an insanely deep rabbit hole. There are a myriad of causes and manifestations of these underlying beliefs and so many men - even respectful men and great life partners - still think and act in ways that perpetrate these gender roles. And - what makes it even more complicated - is women still love and respond to these thoughts and actions. How can we expect rape and violence to be eliminated and men to look at women as true equals when so much of both mens' lives and womens' lives revolve around seeking and obtaining sex and love? I honestly don't think we can.

We need leave some of the more skewed perceptions that lead to frustration and violence behind us and try to eliminate violence against all humans simply because we are all humans and don't deserve to be hurt. Incidents like the recent events in Isla Vista show how far we still have to go. If we look around society and especially the internet, it's not that shocking that a lonely boy with a surprisingly common view of women and the world can get so fed up that he goes on a shooting rampage. It's horrifying and terrifying - but it's not that shocking. We all need to care about each other way more and realize that the games we play to find, love, fuck, and remain with a spouse have undeniable and unintended consequences at times. We need to acknowledge that men and women are different, power is a big fucking deal for both genders, and have conversations about it to elevate ourselves. Violence - physical, mental, emotion, passive-agressive, all of the above, is an unacceptable way to deal with any emotion. If we can somehow accomplish this, we'll be in a much better place. It should be less about the men, women, feminism, masculinity and make it more about all of us.