I'm more open to discussing this article than I was with Lil Ms Duke
Thoughts?
Also, he mentions this briefly. If you haven't seen it, it's extraordinary. Violent, sick, voyeuristic, poetic, strange: http://www.pornmd.com/live-search
Isn't the she you're referring to actually a he? Or am I confused? Also, I get what the author is trying to say but some parts of this came off as condescending and talking down to the reader. Such as every single sentence where this appears: Other instances of feeling like I'm being talked down to: I've seen things like that search before and it's always interesting to see what kinks are being searched....you hate us...
It's fine, not all emotions have to be based on facts. We're human beings, after all. I just wanted to make sure you knew it couldn't be factual.
... But listen. The facts? You're going to have a hard time with them.
... Okay, let's just skip that part, I already went over it, and I don't want to tire you out by repeating myself.
... and so many more. Overall I didn't enjoy the tone of this article, not that any of these articles are great in that aspect.
I hear what you're saying, but I think that the writer was correct to bring up the fact that a lot of people might not fully understand their own feelings about porn or by extension, sex work in general. There are a lot of non-profits out there that collect data on sex workers of all kinds, but I think it's easy to accept that data as "true" even when we don't question why the data was collected, or the mission behind those non-profits. Sex is complicated stuff and it's not easy to understand why someone might want to profit from their own sexuality from an outsider's perspective. Yes, some people are coerced into sex work, or tricked into starring in porn but to me, that's a very compelling reason for sex work to be treated like other professions so that people who work in sex industries can be sure to receive legal and social protections from predatory agents seeking to exploit people. Of course, that's easier said than done.
Sorry I was reading two articles and the Duke girl article. I think I was confused. I didn't find the tone overall that condescending because I read it more as a conversation with an imaginary audience rather than a conversation with me. The writing style irked me a bit and I wish there was more focus on the emotions and struggles rather than these short sentences / statements / questions and jumpy transitions.
Holy narcissism, Batman. See, it's not like there's a mystery here. The bookkeeping of fornication goes back to Ur. Because a child born out of wedlock is at dire social disadvantage, women willing to risk such progeny make hazard pay. And because women are willing to make hazard pay to flaunt societal norms, they are accused of opportunism and social deviance. That's the framework. That's what it's been for ten thousand years. Yeah - for three generations we've had reliable birth control and effective hygienic measures. These have had the effect of laying bare the underpinnings of the social contract - in pretty much every culture that has ever walked the earth, sex is sanctioned with people you're building a life with; sex is taboo with people you're uninvolved with. I'm a romantic; I'd argue "sex with love" is preferable to most people than "sex without love" but I won't belabor the point. No matter how you slice it, sex has been a part of the social contract since cuneiform. Porn workers flaunt that social contract. Doesn't make 'em bad people, doesn't make 'em villains, doesn't make 'em victims. Makes 'em other. Here's that quote again: Let's parse that. "Alex" could fuck however many dudes he wanted for fun BUT HE DIDN'T. The author could fuck however many dudes he wanted for fun but in his mind, he didn't.... BECAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY FUCKING OTHER DUDES FOR MONEY. I'm a remarkably conventional person for a guy who dated two bisexual wiccan strippers at once. Suffice it to say my circle of friends ran to the exotic while my needs don't go much beyond lingerie. And while there isn't a thin white line betwixt they and me, there's definitely an important difference: how well you distinguish between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter." Those who tend towards unconventional sexual existences can bifurcate between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter." The better they can differentiate the two, the healthier their relationships tend to be. You see a bunch of parameter mismatch, though - if there are three people in an overlapping sexual relationship, they better all be at about the same level of differentiation or there will be hell to pay. So here's this guy, who clearly has zero issues separating between "sex that matters" and "sex that doesn't matter", dating somebody who has at least one. And I guess he's never seen Pretty Woman. So obviously, it's about the latent hatred society feels toward his avocation. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that society can't differentiate between sex and love as cleanly as he can. 'cuz if they could, he'd be out of a job.Alex and I weren't exclusive; he was allowed to be with whomever he wanted. I was, too, although I rarely slept with anyone else because my sexual docket was full from porn. But he swore up and down that he'd never had sex with anyone else.
Alex and I weren't exclusive; he was allowed to be with whomever he wanted. I was, too, although I rarely slept with anyone else because my sexual docket was full from porn. But he swore up and down that he'd never had sex with anyone else.
I don't "hate" porn stars. I simply wouldn't want to date one, for a host of reasons. Higher disease risk is one. Yes, I know they get regularly tested, but shit still happens. But mainly because sex is intimate. Even a one night stand with a stranger whose name you never learn can be incredibly intimate. And sex is private. Even casual sex with a casual partner - even, perhaps, sex at a sex club or orgy - has a degree of privacy. Porn is neither intimate nor private. It's partly acting, yet it's real enough for arousal and ejaculation, and it's very, very public. Its whole purpose is to be public. So if a single person wants to do porn, great. If a single person with a very open or tolerant partner (or another adult actor) wants to do porn, then great. But I think it's fair enough that the average person probably doesn't want to date a porn star.
Thanks! It was gloomy and I had work shifts 12-3 both days this weekend. This lead to having no excuse to not lay inside, reading articles online, in my pjs. It's been glorious. I've also read two books. I feel like a lazy fuck - but at least I'm an intellectually stimulated and relaxed one.
Unfortunately a lot of folks like to have sex/fantasize about with people they hate. The popularity of the Paris Hilton sex tape was not just about people really admiring her. Hence all the abuse and rape porn and real life rape and abuse.