Consider your life as a curving line. For most of us, it normally curves slowly in one direction or another. However, every once in a while, the line changes direction quickly. Yet, for some people, it changes quickly often. My theory is that we can grow accustomed to the rate of change of the tangent of this line, and not to the actual direction, or the rate of change of the direction. I guess that means I am talking about the derivative of the tangent of life's curve? sec^2(life)? Anyway, let's call it B. when B is small, we are stable, and at peace. However, when B is large, we are out of sorts and we need to adjust. Maybe I was feverish too much lately... But when some things feel impossible or unattainable, and that didn't previously feel that way, and your situation has also dramatically changed, -I think you are ok.
At any rate, this was tough to read. Sometimes things happen where you can fully understand what happened, and yet cannot fully understand what happened to you because of it. I think she is waiting to find out, and I can see having a hard time following someone else's narrative in the meantime.