So, Hubski, who are you going to be next? Who do you want or plan to be in the future? Who would you wish you were if you could start over, start again, start from the beginning? A different profession or a different persona? Would you be a dude or a lady, maybe both or neither? A tree? Would you raise 5 more kids, 2 less than you do now? Yes, you can be anybody in the next life.
Again I won't elaborate because my eyelids wont let me. you guys are gravy, carry on :)
Aftermath Edit: 3 Gilded comments ITT! Thats what I'm talking(typing) about!!
This is gonna be one of my rare longer posts, I think. When I was flying back from Hong Kong, we had a transfer on Dubai and had to wait a couple of hours. Everyone had just had a long 8 hour flight and the foresight of 6 more hours in the steel cage that is long-distance flight meant that everyone felt tired. It was in that foggy moment that one of the teachers, probably twice my age, asked two questions that I've been thinking about lately. "How did you stay so interested and active all week, veen" and "what are your ambitions?" The first question surprised me. Looking back, I was always active. I've been running around a world city for a week, only releasing my fatigue when my bed was in sight. Why shouldn't I? Spending a week in an amazing place halfway across the world, if that doesn't give you energy I don't know what will. Similar to that Bill Watterson quote from a few days ago: the mind is like a car battery, it recharges while running. But then it struck me: I was one of the few who enjoyed all of it. For instance, on one of the last evenings I got some people to join me to go to Mong Kok. The neighbourhood was a festival of neon / led lights, busy beyond measure and as lively as it gets. We got some dinner in one of the small, family-owned restaurants there. I enjoyed the fuck out of that. Not just the first half hour, like most of my peers. They liked what they were seeing as much as I was, no doubt about that, but it was a state of wonder that faded away. No, I wanted to enjoy every moment because I knew it was a unique experience. I might never see this again, at least not this way. And I think the same goes for life in general. It's a unique experience, and I want to make the best of it. I want to be interested, fascinated, enthralled, because I know it won't last. And it gives me more energy to enjoy life, to have amazing experiences. Maybe the difference between myself and my peers was a strong sense of appreciation. I asked one of the others what they thought of the city. He said that it had become normal rather quickly. I understand him, it's in human nature to adapt quickly to new environments. I purposefully resisted that urge, giving myself a mental slap in the face every now and then: you're on the other side of the world looking at a vastly different way of living and enjoying, look around and enjoy it! I couldn't have enjoyed it if I didn't continuously realize how interesting and amazing it all was. The same goes for my 'regular' life here. But it's much harder to appreciate it all, as it seems so normal to me. Yet I could barely be more happy than I am now. I study in the field that I like, enjoy an honorary programme for some more challenging courses, have multiple great groups of friends and live in a nice apartment. But back to the airport. While the first question was asked to me, the second one he asked to the group. Some of them shrugged. Most of them didn't really have a plan but a short term one. Improvising their way through life. It is a very practical approach, but not one that gets you very far, I think. Daniel Burham, the American urban planner, once said graciously: Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever growing insistency. So I want to become the best version of myself that is possible. I want to make the large amount of years that lie before me the best that I can. Every year a better than the last. While I know that is influenced by tons of factors outside of my control, it doesn't stop me from chasing every opportunity on my path.
This is something I feel strongly about, but isn't exactly private either. I'd also love to hear your experiences and opinions. I'm not "grown up" quite yet, at least I don't feel like it. I'm in that awkward phase where I could drive across the country and start a new life if I wanted, even though I have one still ahead of me here. I struggle with school work, but I also struggle with loved ones. I've talked friends out of suicide yet sometimes I've found myself in that position as well. and I can't tell what I want. I don't know what I want to be, I don't even know if I can handle living the "conventional" life it seems I was born into. Maybe I've having a "mid-teen (age 16-19)" crisis, but it really seems like I've felt this way as long as I could form thoughts that stuck around. I want to see the world, not for it's tourist traps and exaggerated representations of reality, but for it's people. People are so magical with our social interactions and our emotions. Without humans, the earth would still be extraordinarily complex, but significantly less so. Sure, you've got your 5,415 species of mammals, the tens of thousands of plants, and so on; but you don't have anything as complex as the feeling of being cheated on, the feeling of being with friends, the feeling of having too much work to do and hating your job, the euphoria of sex (although dolphins would still be around for this), or the feeling of achieving something great, knowing you did something to change the world for millions. Then I always remember, even if everyone suddenly stopped giving birth, and you somehow were able to meet one new person per second, it would still take TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY ONE years to meet them all. Well beyond your lifetime. Not to mention theirs, as this is assuming no one dies anymore either. After all, your life is just one in seven billion. Whatever joy you feel, pain you endure, it's only one in seven billion. That makes me infinitely sad. Then I remember this and I get even more sad. And as a result, I feel lost. I don't know how something so insignificant as the human life, specifically my human life, can result in happiness. So many people I'll never meet, I really just want to get out there and start meeting them now! Instead, I have to think about College, then getting a Job, then maybe get into a mutually-beneficial relationship with no love involved, then I'll never have time to meet my old friends (if I still remember them), and so on. Wording it that way, it makes me wonder why we don't wish for an earlier death. So sorry, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up :( And sorry for being so depressing. What I can give however, is my biggest fear of "growing up", although it is just as depressing, if not more, than what I wrote above. It's how weak the human capacity for thought and memories is. Hit your head too hard, and you're a completely different person. If you're really unlucky, you may just go crazy. I know this having talked to too many people who've had TBIs. The former comment about going crazy is a reference to this NFL player who killed himself, leaving a note mentioning how much he felt he'd gone mad from all the head trauma, and begging the NFL to improve helmet design so the pain he'd gone through doesn't ever happen again to anyone else... It's an extremely sad story. Everything that makes us, well, US, is as fragile as muscle memory and a few synapses in the brain. Everything we know, every skill we have, the knowledge of everyone we've ever loved and the love we've felt for them, all of it is one bump away from being gone forever. In fact, even decision making isn't the result of your "soul". Maybe some of you once decided to divorce your SO, or maybe you once had to decide whether to keep a loved on on life support. Well, those decisions did not come from the heart. They came from the knowledge and experiences of our life UP TO THAT POINT, and that knowledge and experience ONLY. With that in mind, it makes me realize, that no one is truly evil. Sure no one is good either, but it still is comforting knowing every man or woman who has ever hurt me, hurt you, or hurt anyone only did so out of their nature and their nurture. It was bound to happen, because the universe is just an infinitely complex chain of causes and effects. Most of the time it doesn't even take a bump. Guess what, ageing also does that to you. That's why I'm so afraid of "growing up". It's hard enough to accept that we'll, say, never be children again, or how we'll never re-experience playground adventures or our first kiss (here's some comedic relief; want to know something embarrassing? I've yet to have mine.. :P) but let alone the thought that said memories of the experiences are just as fleeting! Then what? We die? The end? That can't be all there is to life right? Everyday, this seems more and more to be the truth though. Maybe I have more reason to be scared, maybe I'm just paranoid. Once when I was very young (under ten years old), I was on a trip with my parents in Mexico. It was my first time out of country, and from what I remember it was super fun! However, saying "from what I remember" isn't just for dramatic effect, or that it was a long time ago. It was also because I had my first and only TBI myself while on this trip. My Dad took me on a ride along as he played golf, and decided to take a shortcut to the next hole. Now, I love my dad and all, but this was one of his worst ideas. He took the golf cart to a hill that was extremely steep and drove HORIZONTALLY on it. Aaaaaaaand... it flipped. Aaaaaaaaand, my head cracked open. Well, kids heal right? I healed right? I think I did, but almost all my life, I've suffered from severe OCD, depression, and social anxiety. It was never a huge problem for me, as with the help of therapy at a young age and meds to this day I live (what I assume) is an entirely normal life. What worries me is that none of those illnesses run in my family. None of those plagued me before my injury either. And some days, when I forget to take my SSRIs, the fear returns that I ought to do all I can now to enjoy life because one day I'll find myself psychotic, not knowing reality from hallucinations. Some other days, I worry I already am. Maybe you guys don't exist, maybe you do and you guys are all laughing at me behind my back, maybe everyone else is plotting against me to make my life as miserable as can be, maybe maybe maybe maybe. I take my meds and everything is fine again, but it's all too scary for me. Some people worry about their legacy. I'm still here wondering what to even do with my life. Wow, geez sorry for writing all that out but.. wow.
Did it feel good? Writing it out? Writing things down has power. It makes things incarnate. Ursula LeGuin made the conceit in the Earthsea series that you can't do magic on someone or something unless you know its name. The name you're looking for is "fate." I wish I knew everyone's nickname All their slang and all their sayings Every way to show affection How to dress to fit the occasion I wish we all waved… You will walk a tiny percentage of this earth. You will meet a vanishingly small percentage of those who walk it with you. But you will see attack ships on fire of the shoulder of Orion. You shall watch sea beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. And all these moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. So make it count. Those jelly beans of yours. Why make them worry-flavored? You've gotta eat 'em or they'll get stale. Pick the tastiest ones. Because that video of yours? It's a lie. You don't have a limited number of jelly beans. You have a limited stomach and if you choose wisely, your gut will explode from sheer joy of all the delicious jelly beans you consumed. Choose poorly and you'll give up after a couple handfuls of snot-flavored jelly bellies. Fuck that. I firmly believe that you will always regret the things you don't do more than the things you do. Know what? I've never cracked my skull open in a golf cart in Mexico. And maybe that puts me at an organic advantage over you but muthafuckin' fate, yo. It's a river. We all ride it. It bumps some of us up more than others and some of us are goddamn surfing. A lot of it is luck of the draw but a lot of it is determination. Li'l secret: I was deathly afraid of losing my mind until I put a social worker through grad school. She spent her days bouncing Alzheimer's patients from nursing home to nursing home. Her perspective? "Yeah, it sucks when you know you're losing it but after that, Alzheimer's is a great way to go. The people who really suffer are those around you." So hey - maybe you go crazy. At least have fun and go crazy. beats the shit out of moping in fear and going crazy. There's only so much you have control over and worrying about the shit that's beyond your abilities does nothing but cause ulcers. People who are old enough to know better say "high school is the best years of your life." Lemme tell ya - if that happens to be true for them, they fucked up but good. Your future is an unwritten book. You can partition it out into how many jelly beans you spend pooping or you can recognize that we spend so much time feeding our pets because pets are awesome. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, beyotch. Put pen to paper and write yourself a life. Do it up right - you deserve it. And don't worry what anybody else will think… …because they really don't care.
I am essentially going to copy and paste what I said to flagamuffin, so don't get mad! Thank you so much for these words. This poem is especially moving, and your attitude is one definitely worth adopting. This is really the reason why I keep coming back, to have my viewpoints opened so widely. What you've written is motivating beyond belief, so thank you.
LOST LONG POST TO DEAD LINK FRUSTRATION Too Long, Can't Rewrite: There were four points. 1) Not that big of a deal you haven't had your first kiss, have known people in the age range of 24-26 who just lost virginity and just started dating. These people are still good people. 2) That head trauma thing and the mental illnesses? It doesn't matter if that's what caused them. You cannot change the past. You can only deal with the cards you have in the present. Maybe that is what caused them. Maybe it's not. You're probably never going to know. Honestly, knowing you have no family history is reassuring in a way if you ever want to have kids. Think about it: You are pretty sure your genes aren't blighted. You are pretty sure you're not cursing your kid to anything. Isn't that better than knowing, say, you still have 3 years before you know for sure you're not schizophrenic, let alone any potential kids? 3) Forgotten. Whoops. Actually, point #1 was point #2 and same with point 3. Point #1 was "I have been there and had that kind of existential crisis too. Try talking with friends or therapy." except longer and boringer. 4) "Don't sweat the small stuff" but it's not all small stuff. It's all important stuff. Just don't sweat it so much. Emotions are good and exploring yourself is important. Find out what makes you tick and feel a certain way. I called my emotions "stupid" to someone recently and they said: "Stupid does not equal insignificant. Most of what hurts us or flusters us is stupid...Don't tell yourself your feelings are stupid. There are some that need to be parked/packed sooner than others, but they're your heart, one way or another." When she told me that I cried (JUST A TINY BIT GUYS I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS) about something that'd happened a month and a half ago for the first time. It's okay to feel. Just don't let your feelings ride you.
Hey, I just figured out that if you have a dead link and go a page back and hit reply again, your post is still there. At least on Chrome it is. Worth a try the next time you encounter the deadliest of links. edit: you do have to copy-paste into a new post though, but the text is still there.
Just saying, when I get dead links, I click the back button, find the comment I was replying to, and click reply again. With chrome, all the text entered is still there. Seriously. I'm not lying.
You forgot one... -- You know something weird? The first part of your post, about the practically infinite numbers of people out there, the limitless encounters we can all have with each other, the uniqueness we bring to this planet? That makes me so happy. Not sad, not even close. Almost euphoric. In the same way I can't handle thinking about the space beyond space, I really can't even imagine all these people and their fascinating lives, and thank god I can't. I'm glad there's always more going on, no matter how bad (or even good!) things are around me. The collective of humanity is the most fascinating thing ever; I hope you can sort of see my point of view. People are magical -- so celebrate the ones you know and will know, don't mourn the ones you'll never meet. Can I share a semi-relevant poem I wrote once? Fuck it, I'm sharing a poem. Their conversations so varied are lost to my hearing as they turn distant corners So in my mind I tell their stories for them Across the street a sad-faced foreign man selling gyros from behind a shadow He won't make it in time to tuck his children into bed tonight -- he never does Perhaps he won't go home at all, just wander the damp streets lost in dreams On my left a bored policeman, existing only for tourists' pictures I don't like his smile, his shifty, sweating smile -- he won't meet my eyes He knows he isn't doing his job but can't admit it to himself By my side a platinum lady, in heels and clingingly sequined, laughing too much I don't know what she's laughing about -- what the world is laughing about Maybe I'm not in on the secret because I haven't had enough to drink I continue through the lavish square, such a grand dichotomy of lifestyles It makes for interesting stories -- to me I imagine what it means to the people I pass To the street vendor, it means a childhood spent barefoot among the alleyways To the officer, the constant possibility of action -- and failure To the stumbling socialite, selfish in her youth, it means nothing To me? stories, material, memories ... the children of my mindIt's how weak the human capacity for thought and memories is. Hit your head too hard, and you're a completely different person. If you're really unlucky, you may just go crazy. I know this having talked to too many people who've had TBIs. The former comment about going crazy is a reference to this NFL player who killed himself, leaving a note mentioning how much he felt he'd gone mad from all the head trauma, and begging the NFL to improve helmet design so the pain he'd gone through doesn't ever happen again to anyone else... It's an extremely sad story.
The brightly-lit faces of the passers-by are illuminated by the city lights
Thank you! Just hearing your thoughts on this makes me really happy. Being alive truly is a gift, and I didn't mean to make it out to be all negative, it's just to someone really just getting a taste of what's out there, it can be quite overwhelming. In these past few years, I really have had my first few tastes of loss, rejection, failure, but it really is overshadowed by all the joys life has to bring. The negativity is not so much about life as it is now for me, but rather uncertainty of what the future has to bring. Threads about later stages of life really get to me the most. For instance, Askreddit threads asking "Older members, what are your regrets?" or "What do you wish you could experience again the most?" and other iterations. Life is not all bad at all though! The phrase "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel" is more flexible than we think, and it really is a powerful concept. Those threads specifically poke for people's regrets, but what we're not hearing are the memories they remember fondly! We're not hearing the joy of seeing their children speak their first words, the joy of a lifetime's worth of arts and books, and so on. Honestly, what I want most from futurology is a better, more consistent, more complete way of experiencing the life of another individual. A machine that allows me to instantly relive the life of someone else, in all its glory. Feel all their pain, sorrow, and regret, but also all their excitement, pride, laughter, etc.
Hopefully all within the matter of seconds in real time. I think understanding each other and recognizing everyone as a beautiful part of nature (even if you'll never meet them) is the key to peace; sometime I can't fathom people who are self-centered to the point where they don't even acknowledge others as equals. It doesn't anger me, it just confuses me. This machine would work infinitely better than biogrophies, books, etc. and I think it would be one large step to world peace. Or, maybe it'll make people go mad and make them feel infinitesimally worthless. I don't know. Thank you for your words, and the beautiful poem.
You know, I'm good. I work for me. I've got an aeron chair and a 36-fader control surface with three monitors and a DK Jellyfish and I make hundreds of dollars per day mixing Youtube cartoons. If I wanna take off at 2:30 in the afternoon and skateboard to Redondo Beach I totally can. And I have a retirement fund, rental income, a beautiful wife and an adorable daughter. And none of that looks like it's gonna change any time soon. Given my 'druthers I'd sell the novel for a gajillion bucks and move the fuck and gone out of LA but the only thing stopping me from doing that is the fickle taste of the marketplace and the aforementioned Youtube cartoons. Just haven't had time to edit shit in like four months. So really, unless I can pick "me, with an extra 20 hours a week or so" I gotta say my cup runneth over.
you do realize I live in RB right? You do realize that next time you do this you must now swoop me up, carry me on your shoulder and throw me into the ocean so I can live a little more than I currently am. edit: also, I too have a skateboard so I can skate next to you if the shoulder thing ain't your style. edit 2: I have rye. Or had. It's almost gone. edit 3: also i saw your old comment from something like 30 days ago (not on here) featuring your daughter and it was literally the most adorably badass thing I've ever seen. You are lucky guy and she definitely is your daughter. Totally going to grow up to be as feisty as you. Watch out.take off at 2:30 in the afternoon and skateboard to Redondo Beach
Warlizard is awesome. I approve of your internet personality obsessions.
You can't stalk KB until you get your ass to LA! So hurry up. It was 80 degrees today and yesterday!
I did not know that. I myself am in PDR. Redondo is a "almost always" on the bike and a "hot damn I'm cruizin'" on the 'board. I will warn you. It's a longboard. Worse than that, it's a pintail. Worse than that, it's an Arbor. Still worse, I stand-up paddle. So ride next to me and be virtually assured of mockery from Will Rogers to Torrance.
The only time I've used a pole it was a simply a big ass stick. I wish I had a photo of me using it but alas, I only seem to have this one. Have you ever been stand up paddle boarding on the ocean? That is one of the greatest things ever.
We have two down on the boat in RB. You and the wife and child are more than welcome to use them whenever. It's a lot more fun when kids are a bit older and can really understand all the sea life. Watching a 5 year old discover seals or sea slugs or seaweed is a really fun experience. "It barks like a dog but it looks like a whale! I don't know what to do with myself!"
The first time I started to truly warm up to the idea of children was at the Monterey Aquarium. I was having a killer time but I realized I'd be having a more killer time with a kid around… Thanks for the offer. Might take you up one of these days...
No, those things are dork-tastic as hell. I built my own pole based on some of the findings of the Silverfish guys. It cost me like $25. I ride a Pin Bamboo. Kahuna's boards are like, amazingly shit. The trucks are loose, the bearings are crap, the wheels aren't round and the board itself is like a 2x4. They're really crappy and uber-expensive for what you get. Arbor costs, like, a lot but they're made in San Diego, their headquarters is a short bike ride away in Venice and they're about the most eco-conscious skate/snow company out there.
that's cool man, good on ya. hope i end up in a similar situation, even if I end the day wishing there was an hour or two left.
Hoo boy. I'd love to become a bartender (or so I think). I'd love a job where I can alter my appearance any way I want, cover myself with tattoos if I want, and no one bats an eye. Right now I want a lip piercing but I know it's not a viable option in this job, in this company, in this industry. That's okay. But I still think I'd rock it. I've thought about what it would be like if I were a dude. If I were a dude, I'd be a DICK. I really don't think I'd be a nice person if I was dude although if I was a dude from birth I'd be a totally different person so I don't really know, you know? Like maybe all the ways I would take advantage of people if I were a dude are in part due to my frustrations of being a lil lady in a man's world and the giant chip on my shoulder I've had at various times in my life as a result of that. (Chip currently small and adorable. Chip not adorable when it is giant. Smallness of chip a good thing. We must accept who we are in life. And while it is interesting to think about being a dude, I'm not interested in trying to become a dude.) I think I'd be a jerk and I think I'd mostly be a jerk to those of the female persuasion. It's always nice to think you'd be a player in theoreticals, though, right? Who knows? Maybe I would have been a really awkward dude. ANYWAY, it's all fun and games to think about. I find it interesting that you, not-pablo, would be interested in becoming a minority against which there are many and deep-seated prejudices (although you may already be a minority or a double-minority or anything, really)! My choice would be the opposite: GIVE ME ALL THE PRIVILEGE. I RESENT NOT HAVING THE PRIVILEGE. I WANT IT, NOW. (But I like being a lady. Being a lady can be pretty tits in some regard. Go ahead, take it literally.) Who am I going to be next? Hopefully someone with less debt and who gets a decent score on the GMATs and who can go and get her MBA. Is an MBA my passion? No, but I think it'll be a challenge and it'll increase my marketability. It's a wise/smart choice, in other words. Plus I like school. I like to be challenged. I guess the MBA is my 5-year plan. My boring, Real Life, Real Job, Decisions That Aren't Always Fun But Are Good plan. (My yearly bonus? Going towards debt and savings this year. wooooooooooooooooonotreallywoo at all.) - Who would you wish you were if you could start over, start again, start from the beginning? As some of you may have noticed I don't usually spend time thinking about this sort of thing. I view the past as the past, irrevocable and unchangeable. I much prefer to look at who I am now and say "Do I like who I am now? Yes? (On good days, pretty damn much?) Well great. Everything that's ever happened to me, that's made me into who I am, even and especially the shitty stuff. So I wouldn't change a thing." So this is hard for me to answer. I wouldn't unwish any of the difficulty I've had in my life; it would literally make me less of a person. I wouldn't unwish the way my parents raised me, even though it made me weird and left me with some hang-ups and issues. ("They fuck you up, your mom and dad.") I mean, like it'd be great if I was born into a rich family and never had to work a day in my life but then I'd be a brat. I don't want to be a brat. I wish I had worked in the service industry at some point. I could get a second job and do so but it would seriously impinge upon all the nice perks that my corporate job enables me to have. Which is why I like my corporate job. I think working in the service industry gives you a different and valuable perspective on humanity as a whole. I think it's important. In the highly-theoretically, "this is my dream" sort of world. I would be getting my MFA in poetry. At a well-regarded institute where I was good enough not to have to pay. (Scholarships.) I'd be a lot more secure in my poetic skill and GOD DAMN IT I'd hear back on my poetry submissions on a fucking TIMELY BASIS. I would be able to get by somehow on poetry and some kind of flexible job like a lot of my peers, even though the pay is shit and there aren't any benefits. I'd be an "artist" emphasis on the "douche" - I mean "tist." Or I would have followed up on that job on the hydroponics farm in Hawaii. (Who knows if I would have been happy there though? I would have been lonely. It is expensive in Hawaii, too.) Oh, those, those are just some thoughts. I'd be writing. For my job and it would pay. I wouldn't have to be famous but known, by some people, that would be nice. A book published instead of an on-going "Hey will you illustrate my book for me so I can self-publish? Oh you'll only do it if there's a potential romantic relationship between us? Well damn." (I can't entirely blame this person for that, really. It's not like I was offering to pay him. He liked my poetry book, he was looking for inspiration, I said you know what if you illustrate it I'll put it up on Amazon under both our names and we'll both get some publicity. We stopped seeing each other and I think he was a little mad at me. His response is actually entirely reasonable. But it's one plan that's not going to happen for me, and by damn I liked his art style and thought it was perfect.) So many of my dreams and desires and futures are nebulous. Is that a bad thing? Am I not driven enough towards goals and futures? Or am I just not attached to them/what happens? I "have world enough, and time." Or that's how it feels.So, Hubski, who are you going to be next? Who do you want or plan to be in the future? Who would you wish you were if you could start over, start again, start from the beginning? A different profession or a different persona? Would you be a dude or a lady, maybe both or neither? A tree? Would you raise 5 more kids, 2 less than you do now? Yes, you can be anybody in the next life.
ref, if you regularly go to bed before 4 a.m., bartending might not be a great fit . . . Daytime bar can be good, particularly if the bar is in a place that does brunch (huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge moneymaker). Those shifts can be tough to get though, as they're desirable. A day bar shift in the winter? Probably not even worth going in for.
Lol. I can be either a morning person or night person; I've been both. I think I could be flexible. My job and refusal to get stuck in rush hour traffic means that m-f I'm up before six. I value 8 hours of sleep because I've lived in a world where four or less became my norm. When I get sleep deprived it's very easy for me to hallucinate or hear things. That's why I go to bed so early. If my job changed I expect I could adjust although it would take some time. I just need my sleep on a very literal level. I get very ugly when I'm sleep deprived.
I love that i can follow this in a perfectly natural progression to the point that it feels like im just reading the wanderings of my own mind. For the record, i fancy being a minority because i dont like the feeling of associating with the masses too much, it makes it harder to pretend im an independent and unique individual. Also i can already relate to the cultural dynamics of a persecuted people, because as an Armenian i was taught from an early age to never stop crying about the Armenian genocide of 1915. Why do i say this with cynicism? Because unlike the motivated african americans that fought, stood strong and suffered for their civil rights movement, Armenia has collectively done fuck-all besides telling its youth to openly hate modern-day Turks with absolute confidence that they are Satan's (massive, economically capable and culturally flourishing) ballsack. point is I prefer not being ashamed by the mentality of my own people. Victim mentality is cowardice in this case. I digress. Yikes. Get the lip ring. Get one for your boss too. Youre too cool to not do the cool things you want to do. And yes, I dont often throw blame on others, but parents are the most infuriating people ive ever owed my life to. Also, I would love to have tits so if you ever get bored, we could totally switch off on the weekends or something. Depending on when the meetup happens, I have something very very special to show you regardjng poetry in the city. Bring inspiration. Edit: my new years resolution is to collect my thoughts and express them in an organized manner. Wish me luck.
Feel free to come back tomorrow! I always appreciate your two cents. Good luck today and remember, if your boss is giving you shit to an insufferable point, someone out there (me) still has to ask to go to the bathroom.
Good luck with your big important day. I have one of those today too. See ya on the flip side of what I hope is a great outcome for both of us!
Wow, this question is a lot harder to answer than I thought it would be. Truthfully, I really don't know. I have always been one to feel like I had everything figured out. I used to know where I wanted to go to college, what I wanted to major in, what career path I wanted to take - it would occasionally change, but I always had /something/. About 6-8 months ago something changed though. I stopped listening as much to what other people told me they thought I should do. I started to realize that the things I thought I wanted all along aren't really what /I want/, but rather, what I thought /I should/ do. So since then I've been stuck having no real direction in life other than wanting to graduate high school. But the more I think about it, the more I'm okay with that. I think that not having such specific goals allows me to be more open to trying out new things, and maybe eventually I'll find something that I truly love and want to pursue. So to answer the question, what I want to be when I grow up is someone who has had many different experiences, someone who doesn't regret the things I did, and someone who never let an opportunity slip away.
University undergraduate advisors offices are FULL of people who want to change their major, then change it again, because someone told them that they HAD to be a something or other. On the other hand, nowaypablo and you in your last paragraph make good points. It's better to do as much as you can and learn as much as you can with passion and intensity then to do nothing. I hope you are interested in a lot of things. The universe is full of awesomeness.I stopped listening as much to what other people told me they thought I should do. I started to realize that the things I thought I wanted all along aren't really what /I want/, but rather, what I thought /I should/ do.
Bonjour: know this. Therapists offices are FULL of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50 etc who did what other people told them they should do.
Thanks for the response! I know someone who is in that exact predicament. They are mid-forties and just now realizing that their career isn't really what they wanted in life and it hasn't been rewarding them the way that they feel it should. So now they are searching for something that will, and it's quite a struggle. I don't want to end up in this situation. I hope that whatever it is I decide on pursuing will make me happy and let me enjoy life without holding me back. That being said, I also think it's important to know that people's wants/needs do change. So whatever fulfilled you 20 years ago, may not be the same as what you need to fulfill you now. I just want to keep an open mind and never stop learning about things that interest me.
A good point, and one I was going to make if you didn't Your good friend probably felt OK in his job for a long time before he got to the point where it no longer was enough for him. (One hopes.)That being said, I also think it's important to know that people's wants/needs do change. So whatever fulfilled you 20 years ago, may not be the same as what you need to fulfill you now.
You and i are in th same fight then. If i can offer any advice that has improved things for me, its to pursue all those different interests and niches fully. I mean, if something, substantial or not, catches my eye enough to make me dig deeper, i encourage myself to dig straight down to the goddamn bottom. IF i dont like it in the end, i know i understand it and am aware of it. And if i truly love it in the end, which hasnt quite yet happened to me, then i will dedicate myself to contributing to it in my own way. This is a principle of life i hope to uphold in the future. Good luck bro, we'll be out of here soon:D
A business owner, a mentor, a great great grandfather.
Im sure youll be a great great grandfather indeed ;) Edit: first time trying mobile this could be dangerous
Ha. I have really come to like using mobile. If you have any feedback for mobile, be sure to let us know and thanks for the kind words.
For a while, I thought that all I wanted in life was freedom and for a while I was about as free as a modern person could be: no debt, no real obligations and no significant financial barriers to things I was interested in doing. However, that degree of freedom meant that I wasn't really invested in anything. I did make some great friends and see and do some incredible things, but eventually for lack of a better description, I got bored. Now, I'm working toward being a person of substance. For the moment, that entails working toward another degree in a field that I feel is important and that I would be happy and possibly well-rewarded in. I imagine that on the way a number of opportunities will arise and those are what I'm really after. If it doesn't work out, then it'll be time to change again. If that happens, I'll at least have more life experience under my belt and another perspective on the kind of life I'd like to lead from then on.
Many people in the situation you say you want to be in are there because they're striving for what you say you're now bored of. I think the fact that you're open-minded in the different circumstances you live your life in--free in the modern sense, substantial to the society, and everything in between-- is a very brave and valuable thing. What opportunities are you looking for exactly?
Well shucks . . . thanks! I don't know that I can pin them down very well at the moment, so I'll have to speak a bit broadly. The field I'm interested in going going to grad school for is organizational psychology and more specifically, conflict resolution. I like conflict resolution because conflict pervades our lives at every level. Most people tend to think of conflict as Conflict, as in wars or border disputes, or other big, bad events, when the truth is, deciding on where to go to eat is also a conflict. Resolving conflict is generally not about compromise (which tends to be a situation where neither party gets what they want) but rather about finding ways for both parties to get what they really want, which is most often not what the parties state what they want. For example, if you and a friend are arguing about where to go to eat and you want to go to one place because you really like the fries there, but he wants to go to another place because he wants to get spaghetti, a possible resolution might be to go get the fries first and then go to the spaghetti place. Some of the opportunities I'd like to find are ways to use my previous experience with working in an international setting and combine that with conflict resolution. With all the trade that goes on between international organizations, whether it be businesses or in peacebuilding, I imagine that there are a lot of ways that conflict resolution can be used to great effect (and hopefully it will pay pretty well). Also, in grad school I'm sure that there will be more opportunities to meet driven and interesting people, especially given the field. I also imagine that I will come into contact with professors with a great deal of personal and professional experience who can help me refine my goals and connect me to people or organizations that will be able to help me to find meaningful work in the kind of capacity I'm interested in. Then of course, there might be opportunities to work with other practitioners of conflict resolution and I'm sure that will have an effect on how I view things as well.
That seems to me likle a quite broad but vital field,. To be honest im just glad someone is investing themselves into something they can apply to themselves as human beings, as opposed to professionals in just that field. Though this is a bit long term relatiely speaking, id be curious to see where that road leads.. If i stick around hubski ling enough for you to get a degree, then keep me posted! :D
I have a lot of conflicting thoughts for this one. I want to work at a professional brewery or as a manager in an operational excellence group at just about any place that isn't in the Gas/Oil industry. I want my day job to allow me to continue with my all the other time job, which is the record label (which is going pretty swell as of late). As far a family, I'm very interested in having one, maybe two kids. Definitely not more than that though. I want to live in a city, directly in one, preferably one like Boston or Portland, Maine. Someplace that has a cultural scene, a vibrancy to it and is on/near a coast. As for the far, far off future I have this weird dream of retiring somewhere and taking up small scale farming or gardening and trying to live a quiet, peaceful, and subsistence based life. Edit: You know what, I really just want to be like Lee or Samuel Hamilton from East of Eden at some point in the future. It's difficult to describe beyond that at this point in time.
What? Why? Oil and Gas dudes make bank, though the jobs do seem like they suck ass. I know a guy who worked on a rig for a year and then traveled around the world doing whatever for the next few years. The thing about jobs is, they don't last forever, but people (usually people who haven't had much work experience) sometimes think that getting a job in one field means staying in that field forever. It doesn't have to be that way, but it can be hard to make a change, which is where I'm at right now . . . Let's say you worked oil and gas for . . . I dunno, 5 years and saved as much as you possibly could. That would be enough money to open up a dive shop with a little guest house and/or a little cafe attached to it, somewhere in the Pacific.I want to work at a professional brewery or as a manager in an operational excellence group at just about any place that isn't in the Gas/Oil industry.
I've already worked in the Natural Gas industry and hated it. I couldn't stand the work or the people working in that industry. I need a job that I like to work, regardless of the pay. The type of work and the location are two very important things to me. I would rather take a few more years and enjoy what I'm doing as opposed to grinding out every single day and dreading waking up for work.
Because if you're a college graduate from an o&g focused school, like me, that's five of your best years, gone. It's a dull, dull industry. However, since I became addicted to the Mr. Money Mustache blog and realized I'm going to retire when I'm ~32 if I continue being intelligent -- I've gotten over my general sadness.Let's say you worked oil and gas for . . . I dunno, 5 years and saved as much as you possibly could. That would be enough money to open up a dive shop with a little guest house and/or a little cafe attached to it, somewhere in the Pacific.
The blogger's absolutely killer argument is that no one really gets to raise their kids anymore. What good is a high SOL if you're too busy scrambling up the ladder to get to know your child? (Which is why what kleinbl00 said above is so apt in my opinion. I respect the hell out of him, not for having a ton of money or something inane like that, but for having a flexible job that means he sees his daughter.) But if you retire in your early 30s... suddenly you can actually have a family. That's an unbreakable argument. Don't get me wrong, traveling is what I most enjoy in the world. I'd be better set up financially if I'd never been out of the country. It's all about tradeoffs...
And humanodon too of course as he's throwing in on the discussion. But the point of the blog in general is as a money-saving budgeting sort of thing? I was initially interested, having heard (read) you speak (write) about it. However, seeing that his main argument is an early retirement so that you can raise your kids - I totally get how that would be very interesting and desirable for those who want kids, but currently, I don't. So that means the blog in general may end up being less interesting to me. After all, theoretically if I did retire at 32 - what would I do? You still need ways to spend your time. Raising kids is a great way to spend that time, if that is what you want to do. Frankly, I think I'd end up still working in some way because a totally idle life doesn't appeal to me. So, learning this, the blog becomes slightly less interesting to me. Does that make sense? Like, in part I was following this conversation because I saw you mention the blog, I'd seen someone (I think you) submit a post about it, so it was coming up a few times in my periphery. It's still a great goal to be retirement-ready at 32 even if I chose not to retire or to start a family, I'm not trying to knock the purpose of the blog or the value of what you're doing. But if the blog is pretty grow-up-and-get-a-family-focused, I lose interest.
Never said that was his main argument! It's his clincher, from a certain point of view. I bet a ton of society's problems boil down to parents not really having time to truly raise their kids anymore. Vicious cycle. Retire at 32 and travel. Retire at 32 and start your own carpentry business -- your dream -- as opposed to a shitty software job, like the blogger did. Retire at 32 and move somewhere completely different to start a new life with the knowledge that even if you somehow couldn't work at all, you'd be fine. Or retire at 32 and spend 30 hours a week with your 3-year-old son. Keep reading, trust me. If you want you can skim the occasional bits where he says, "ha, I spent six hours in a creekbed with my son yesterday while you were at work," but in my opinion we all need the reminder that work-to-live is a necessary evil, not something we should blindly accept. Skim that stuff and get to his financial advice -- index funds -- or his transportation advice -- bikes or if you must a used Honda -- or his lifestyle advice -- nature isn't something to look at, it's free entertainment -- or his;; anyway.
Yeah, but you can shift the focus for you. For example, if you retired at 32 and didn't need to work, you could spend the days writing or figuring out a way to finance personal travel or something. It's an appealing idea to me. I am very, very frugal, but when I spend money, I really spend money. If I didn't love my dog, I would have some. Fun fact: on some airlines, if an animal (with shots and papers of course) weighs 25 lbs or less, it can be hand carried on an airplane to the US for no additional charge. However, my dog weighed 28lbs at the time and the carrier was very . . . I'll use the word, "insensitive" and so I had to ship my dog as cargo via a pet shipping company. Not only did he arrive in America on a nicer airline than I took, but his ticket and cost of travel cost more too. :(
Is that internationally only? Trying to figure out why I haven't seen a lot more cats on airplanes.Fun fact: on some airlines, if an animal (with shots and papers of course) weighs 25 lbs or less, it can be hand carried on an airplane to the US for no additional charge.
I'm only an amateur producer right now, but I have a lot drive and passion. I'm currently enrolled at Full Sail University networking my ass off, producing day and night. Trying to better myself in every relatable aspect. Along with a successful career I'd like to cultivate a lot more zen habits and attributes into my life, such as mindfulness, meditation, and awareness. Honestly I just want to be successful enough with my music to live off of it. As long as I'm blowing minds and melting hearts I'll be happy. My dream job would be to start my own independent label focused on talented up and coming genre benders and boundary pushers.
Who am I going to be next/ what am I going to be when I grow up? A musician. I'm at a point that I can't live without it. If I could start over? I'd talk to a doctor about my mental health and possible gender issues a lot earlier, and I'd start playing bass a lot earlier. Maybe I'd be a lady bassist? who knows. I hope you can expand on your awkward feeling when you feel more comfortable about it. I'm curious, and miss you when you're gone. I miss you by your walk, and your talk... * pop music reference? shameful *
|lady bassist That would be so hot I forgive your heathenous mainstream ways, and that's really cool of you to say, but I'm not going anywhere yet. Who knows, maybe you'll figure me out if our paths cross on my other username;)
My friend lizz is a hot lady bassist. pretty sweet.
Tell her someone you met on the internet said she's hot and high five her for me when you get the chance
Haha sweet, let me know if it makes her laugh\destroys your relationship. Just kidding of course, take care homie
What do I want to be? Honestly I have only vague ideas about that. I think I have a much better idea of where I'd want to be. I'd want to have my own bit of land. Maybe it doesn't even have to have much on it. A glorified shed, maybe, but with room to expand. Space to make a house, with high ceilings, and a big kitchen. A garden. A place where I can build a permanent brick oven for bread and pizza. Space where I can make a place for a home gym with a power rack, adjustable bench, and oly pad. Space where I can keep a bunch of brewing equipment and make a storage room for bottles with walls of bottle racks. Maybe places to put solar panels or even a freaking windmill because windmills are cool. So that maybe one day the land would be very cheap to live on. Kids maybe. Most of all I think I've realized that I want to be something that enables me to do that.
Yeah, but what's the point? I'd be happy if I never had to set foot in that hell hole again. I'm attending a wedding in Austin in the summer, which I'll do, because it's my cousin whom I love. But if it was anyone else I wouldn't bother. Edit: Apologies to all the Texans on Hubski. Most of my problem with it comes form the time I had to spend there with my ex-girlfriend's mother, a dreadful woman. Well, that and the heat, which my thick Northern blood just boils in.
If everything goes according to plan (Which it won't, and that's ok) within 5 years I'll be, Graduated from school, Gainfully employed somewhere that I don't hate, Looking for a plot of land somewhere to invest in and, Building a self-sufficient homestead somewhere cool. Probably throw a girlfriend in there somewhere too, but that's really just up to chance. I date a lot, but very few girls stick around. I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Everybody between the ages of 19 and 23 is incompatible with everyone else in that age range. I'm only sort of joking. People's rate of personal growth/change is through the roof at that age, and almost every major factor in their life be it school, work, finances, social group, etc is in a state of heightened flux. It's a tough age for two people to link up and want to stick around each other for a sustained period of time. I've found that as I get older, my relationships lasted longer and longer as I got better at sorting out what I was looking for and my longer term goals settled into place allowing a longer term relationship to have a foundation to rest on.I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Hey man, if it was easy it wouldn't be any fun. stay classy:D I dig the plot of land, ButterflyEffect just commented a similar idea. Funny how we see settling in, retirement etc. as a return to a simple house and some dirt to work with.Probably throw a girlfriend in there somewhere too, but that's really just up to chance. I date a lot, but very few girls stick around. I'm trying to figure out if that's because I'm picky, or because my personality is just incompatible with most women between the ages of 19 and 23.
Holy shit i love what just happened. OftenBen i think your pong just ping'd.
I agree, but a lot of people don't realize that eventually you have to work with (not against!) your partner to get to the good stuff that comes with a relationship on a longer timeline. It's like everyone enjoys the honeymoon phase then tries to turn the plane around when its time to fly back from Hawaii.
I'm not even sure retirement is the right word. I just had this dream of 'The Cabin' growing up, somewhere I can fall back on if it all goes tits up, and as I get older I realize the only thing standing between me, a stop at home depot, and a cabin, is figuring out how to buy land, and make sure I can buy it and keep it without having to keep paying someone else for the right to just live. And dating, I just don't know. I feel like I've been through every phase of trying to be something else to get girls, (Including a brief period as an 'asshole' which lost me my virginity and a lot of self-esteem) now I'm just very direct, I try to be as sweet and thoughtful as comes naturally. (I'm a, long stemmed rose on the first date, kind of guy, and bouquet's when I remember them)
Preferences are preferences. You'll find someone who likes what you offer. (For the record, I'm a "flowers never" kind of gal.) I started a first date this fall by saying "look, I'm just going to be me, and I hope you're just going to be you, because if we pretend to be other people we are just wasting each other's time." I come with warts as do most people. Instead of hiding them I try to be up front about them because maybe some day I'll find someone who can deal with them or even finds them adorable. (Unlikely but a gal can dream!) pretending to be someone else wastes everyone's time... And as you said, can even damage your own self esteem as you try to live up to tropes that don't feel "right" to you. It's hard to get to this point. And it's not easy to stay there either; it requires a brutal self honesty and a willingness not to censor yourself regardless of who is watching, which is often where I personally run into trouble. But better to be alone than have to pretend you are something you are not in order to hold on to someone, right?
A: I'd be black B: I'd be a Buddhist, C: I'd be patient (see B) D: I'd carve neat things out of different kinds of wood, especially bamboo E: I'd look dapper as fuck in my robe F: I'd organize the NYC Hubski meetup/cure world hunger
Why would you be black? What's stopping you from being a Buddhist?
A vast majority of native African people I've seen and met have been the most beautiful, interesting people I've encountered. I love African culture and, let's face it, I'd get all the traits of a black dude ('just stereotypes' my ass). I mean like monastic Buddhist. I want to live in the mountains of India and meditate, learn to become virtually ascetic. I find that to be a more valuable discipline than pulling 3 jobs or joining the army- both situations I respect greatly. Edit: Come to think of it, the only thing that would truly keep me from doing so would be my desire to have a family. Edit 2: The bit about black culture was bullshit I just really want to be black ok
Honestly, it seems like an interesting thing to do. I should elaborate a bit though. Generally people who do this, do this when they are quite young and it is seen as a sign of prestige for their families. I'd guess that people who are of working age or "marrying age" don't really do it so much because being a monk or nun might cut down on what are seen as the "prime" years for working and starting families. However, if neither of those things are of concern, then it seems like a potentially great experience.
I may be in the process of becoming a practicing Buddhist (Secular Humanist rather than reincarnation) and my family is less than thrilled. Christianity, specifically Apostolic Lutheran Christianity (TM) was a really big thing for my parents, and it tore them up when I told them that I didn't want to go to church any more. Definitely worth looking into though, just practicing simple mindfulness (as often as I can) makes a massive difference on my quality of life, and my mental health. It just seems to make sense.
I used to be an animal control officer outside of Detroit before my wife and I relocated a little over a year ago. I just recently managed to get a job at a city animal shelter as a kennel tech which pays surprisingly well. However, I want to be an animal control officer again. There was something about the job that just resonated with me. So that's what I will be when I grow up.... again.
I still don't know. I'm pretty conflicted at the moment, and I'm 17 years old. It's a very confusing time for me.
I know that feel man. I'm 17 too and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing in my life. We're in this weird transition phase between being a child/teenager and adult. Everyone's telling me that being an adult is harder than anything I've experienced and I'm just like ugh can I not grow up please
Especially since I want to be an infantry marine, but with all this drama with ISIS (well, more than drama; people being beheaded), my mom would rather I join the air force or the navy. Such a confusing time for me.