Do child-free women of a certain age face much social turbulence regarding their choice?
I've caught some shit here and there, but nothing too bad. It's mostly people saying I'll change my mind, however, I have been called "selfish" once or twice-which I am totally unable to wrap my head around.
Would anyone else care to share their thoughts or experiences? Does this letter seem thoughtful or patronizing?
As a woman who does not want children, I would hate to hear this. While more often than not, I'm told I'm either being immature or that I don't know what I want yet for saying I don't want children in my early 20's, I also don't want to get pats on the back for standing up for my autonomy. This whole thing reeks of gross self-congratulation.
I read into it as her thanking us for realizing that we aren't responsible or adult enough to fulfill our child-bearing duties. I agree with the "self congratulatory" way you saw the blog. I'm just not sure that in 2013, with the large extant swaths of disadvantaged children, why it's considered a "duty" to reproduce.
IMO it's extremely presumptuous to thank someone for that. You likely haven't a clue to the complete situation (maybe they were abused as a child), so no, you shouldn't thank someone for not having a kid. That said, it should be perfectly fine with everyone should a woman or a man not want to have kids. Not everyone wants to be a parent, or wants all that comes with that. That is perfectly understandable.
I think the entirety of the thanking someone you don't know for a basic life choice is incredibly patronizing and presumptuous, and makes you look incredibly self-serving. I've never known a war veteran who has appreciated when you 'thank them for their service'. It's vapid and empty, and it only serves to show your own opinions, or every less. It's for the person saying it, not as an actual extension of appreciation.
I started to read it as the author "congratulating" me for realizing I could never hack it as a parent. Why is reproducing seen as a "given?" It's 2013, shouldn't we have moved slightly beyond biological imperatives at this point? I once read a study that said art criticism is more a reflection of the viewer than the artist. Perhaps congratulations fall into the same category.