I've been under a lot of stress lately. At least, more than I'm used to. I would always pride myself with how calm I can stay under tense and stressful situations, and that people involved in an issue can look to me for support-- one of my favorite feelings ever is to know I've been there for someone, and made them feel better, or do better. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. But, as I said, lately it's been getting hard. I'm making mistakes, I'm slipping up, I'm trying to improve myself constantly for the people I love and instead become a fuck-up of epic proportions. Taking time to breathe, think/rationalize and understand is being replaced with a lot of self-hatred and a dangerously large volume of pull-ups. I don't want to be a burden on my friends, so I usually just 'deal with it' and keep it in. It's not healthy, so I'd love to know how you guys keep on ticking. I'm trying to find solace in songwriting/the piano, and listening to music.
haha wait what do you mean edit: im weird just let me livveee
Can't tell which. Regardless, I want to say this: your vague questions are sweet, but what is highly skilled and multitalented is your interest and support of other people - so keep it up. As for this: It gets easier and weirder.what do you mean
Here's what I mean. You claim to be in high school, so you probably only have 13-18 years experience living in your world. The world can be very intense and when you say this become a fuck-up of epic proportions
it sounds either REALLY BAD or you're being really hard on yourself.im weird just let me livveee
- of course. it goes without saying.
it's mildly bad, i might post about it later. I guess for my 15 years of experience on this little greenish-blue bubble of dust it's pretty bad. whatever, but thanks for caring haha. That's why i love this place. and I appreciate that. I try not to be condescending by not necessarily giving advice, and just listening. its never fun to tell someone i told you so, even if it might somehow be satisfying to you at first. I like this post. I am too tired to be sophisticated so Im just going to say thank you very much/I love it, and I mean both of those, a lot. My now-ex-girlfriend and I are/were 6,000 miles apart. shitty shit is shit. and I'm glad I go through stuff I go through, though I do kinda resent my soap opera teenagerhood; everyone likes to think they're different eh. On a random side note as my mind wanders in an emotionally twisted and sleep deprived haze, I'm much more of a casual conversationalist when it comes to these things in person.. typing seems so cold at times, at least when I do it. I say this only because your blog is so warm and genuine. Also,I may not have made this up, but I haven't heard it ever before from someone else. I always say, "If life was easy, it wouldn't be interesting." If we fulfilled all our goals pursuits and desires, we'd have no more a purpose to be alive. You can switch drugs to a better high once you've reached its peak, can't switch lives. Enjoy the pursuit of happiness by stopping to smell the roses. by the time they die, you'll know the scent and be able to pick it up later along the way. whatever the hell that means.
and if you don't know this song with a similar message you absolutely must listen. It is brilliant. It is my alarm every morning and frankly it is a great song to wake up to. Then when I am going through tough times I listen to it as well.
oooooh snap! The second the vocals opened I recognized the song!!! I've heard it before as a sample in some hiphop track. Would you mind if we start waking up to the same song?? This is brilliant :D -but sad :( I have so so so much music to share along the lines of 'getting through'... we need a meetup STAT! Edit: this is my lazy morning track, my lazy afternoon track, and my sleepy nighttime track :) I'm breaking ground into this 'old' feel of vocals and crispness in the instrumentals-- not like the sharp and clean vibes of today. I did hate it for a ong time though, so this might not be your style (yet!)