I don't like kids. I never plan on having them. I'm nice to the kids my friends have, but I'm not around them a lot. I was also the youngest kid in my family. However, my niece is nearing the nine month mark and I like her alright. I get to see her about once a week, sometimes less. I know the major milestones that people are excited about (first words, crawling, walking), but what are the little things about kids growing up that are fun to see?
It can be examples that are super specific that might not pop up very often, I'm just curious. For example, I babysat her around the five month mark and got to witness her trying to mimic my words. I was really into jazz at the time and she needed a nap so I was quietly scatting to her and she freaking loved it and tried to scat right along with me in her own way. Or the other week when I saw her I grabbed one of her favorite stuffed animals and was trying to make it "talk" to her but she saw right through it and gave me a weird "what the heck are you doing?" look.
Funny story: Sometimes my 2.5 year old daughter will complain when brushing her teeth and will ask, "why do I have to?" to which my wife responds, "because if you don't your teeth will fall out." A few weeks ago I was brushing her teeth and asked her to stick out her tongue so I could brush it. She paused and looked at me with concern and asked, "If I don't then my tongue will fall out?" She's pretty funny these days. I love how her mind works.
That's hilarious. I am pretty excited to hear what kid logic she'll come up with.
Me too. Honestly, there is something new every day. She can communicate so much better, literally every day. It's remarkable how quickly they learn and how much they absorb.
Kids always become like obsessed with me, which is strange because I'm a mid-20s male with no huge interest in kids, nor any real experience. I think it's because I always talk to kids the same way I would talk to an adult friend. That doesn't mean I will ask them if they had productive afternoon, or ask them about the doomed American economy, but I have some dumber friends who I wouldn't ask them stuff like that either. You can talk to kids without patronizing and talking down them, while at the same time not flying over their heads. Everyone I see who does this has kids love them so much, because I think kids realize they aren't being treated like an equal when adults talk to them in a baby voice or ask them the same stupid questions like "do you like barbie/cars?". Now for your actual question on things to look forward to, I don't know since I have no experience. Although I'm really looking forward to teaching my kids everything, and trying to inspire a love of science, hopefully teaching them to ask lots of questions and question the answers and all of that jazz. On a slightly unrelated note, is it strange as a guy to hope I have girls? Whenever I picture my kids I have a daughter who I teach about video games and dolls and science and tea parties and lego and Star Trek.
I hear you on the science thing. I'm normally broke, so when I got some extra money this past Christmas I went ahead and bought her some things for the years to come. That included three dvd sets by They Might Be Giants (ABCs, 123s, and Here Comes Science). I just don't want her to think that science is automatically a boy thing. I don't think it's strange at all! My niece already loves the music from A Link to the Past and enjoys watching my brother play Minecraft (I think it's the green). And she's totally going to be introduced to Star Trek as soon as possible. My childhood was changed by Capt Janeway, I'd love to share that with my niece.
My sister just had a son, and Im kinda freaking out over whether or not Ill be a good uncle. And that whole patronizing adult-thing is exactly what I worry about. How do you avoid that? Just ask the guy "what up dude? good day? see the latest breaking bad? it was messed UP yo." ?
No, it's possible to talk to them like an adult without talking to them about adult things or things that they don't know about. When you see them playing or doing something seem interested. Ask them about their day. If they're playing say something like "What are you playing?", or "That's a cool toy", but not in a super condescending tone like "cool tooyyyyyy" like most people do. When in doubt ask them questions about what they're doing as if you didn't understand. Then when they answer just say "That's pretty cool"
I'm no expert, but I have worked with young kids. I have noticed that if one talks to kids in the way that one talks to other human beings (by that, I mean no baby talking or condescension, though of course with a simplified vocabulary) then kids generally respond better. They might not have words for it, but kids know when they are not being respected, or are being treated like pets. Also, kids learn to lie really early on. It's ok to call them on their bullshit and to let them know that you can see right through it. However, it is also good to show them how to get what they want without being manipulative. They can learn how to influence people to get things that they want later on, when they have a better understanding of want vs. need and how their actions affect other people.
Yeah, there's a part of me that worries with her being the first grandchild on both sides she'll get whatever she wants and will become a little monster.
Kids are fabulous. Babies are generally adorable and gross and loud and slimy and boring. But there are moments before they start to talk and walk when you can still see them absorbing everything and discovering new things (omg toes!) and it's really refreshing and inspiring. They also have a tendency to make you very introspective, especially about how fucked up we are as adults. We are shy and scared and hesitant and follow far too many rules. We don't ask nearly enough questions, fearful of sounding stupid. Kids are little sponges and will soak up everything around them. If you cuss they cuss. If you cross your arms, they will. They are finding their way in this world by copying all the things they see around them. They are full of intrigue and lack any sort of shame. They will question and question and question some more. After spending a lot of time with a kid you will start to be annoyed by the endless series of questions and blow them off. Try not to - as much as humanly possible. It can be really fun and interesting to look into why they got to that question. It's human nature to connect different parts of our days: our conversations, our experiences, things we have read. But we mostly ignore these connections and they happen almost subconsciously. Kids don't. They connect everything in amazing ways and if you take the time to look into it, it can blow your mind. I used to work dressing up as Ariel the Mermaid for kids birthday parties. It was pretty common for the kids to say "You aren't the real Ariel!" to which I would respond with something generic like "Why would you say that? Of course I am!" One girl came back immediately with, "The real Ariel wouldn't have chipped nail polish. Duh." Oops. Fucking little observant sponges with no shame.
Haha yeah, my brother and his wife have been trying to come up with PG-terms to say instead of cuss words. Just to get used to them before she starts parroting. I have no doubt that one day her mom will slip up and yell "tits!" in front of her and that'll be interesting. It was fun to see her discover ceiling fans. She was so amazed and would just watch it if she was near one. I'm too used to things like ceiling fans, so it was kind of nice to see that sense of wonderment over something so ordinary. I kind of wonder if I'll go overboard when she's older like Nicole Kidman's portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. The whole asking about the kid's day from the beginning (waking up) but really trying to focus on how they felt, why they did things instead of what exactly they did. That Ariel story is awesome, by the way. I've basically lost out on any stories like that due to staying away from kids for so many years--for good reason. There was about a two year period that anytime I was out shopping and a child was nearby they'd hit me with something. One had a freaking slingshot and whacked me with it in a store. Little monsters.