I'm no expert, but I have worked with young kids. I have noticed that if one talks to kids in the way that one talks to other human beings (by that, I mean no baby talking or condescension, though of course with a simplified vocabulary) then kids generally respond better. They might not have words for it, but kids know when they are not being respected, or are being treated like pets. Also, kids learn to lie really early on. It's ok to call them on their bullshit and to let them know that you can see right through it. However, it is also good to show them how to get what they want without being manipulative. They can learn how to influence people to get things that they want later on, when they have a better understanding of want vs. need and how their actions affect other people.