I'll say this: A good relationship is not additive, it is multiplicative. Whereas the majority of the relationships I was in prior to my wife involved giving and taking, whereby the time I invested paid off in benefits I reaped, the time I've invested in my wife pays off in spades. If it weren't for my wife, I would not have A) Moved to Hollywood B) Bought a motorcycle C) Bought a Kyma D) Had a kid E) Written a novel A decent relationship does one fundamental thing: it increases you. It gives you a larger place of stability from which to strike. It increases your faith in yourself, while also giving you something to fight for. I say all those things that she did for me; I also did some little things for her like "pay for medical school" which, honestly, become afterthoughts. That which you give to a relationship that counts becomes trivial; that which you take from a relationshop that counts becomes magical. I'll say this also: You can be happy if you're not in a relationship. I'll even go one further: You will not have a happy relationship if you are not happy first. This is a classic mistake made by, well, everyone: "I'm unhappy and lonely. I need to find someone to be with." Thing of it is, if you're looking for someone else to make you happy and not lonely, you will FAIL. Until you have more of you than you can really use up on your own, you have no goddamn business expecting someone else to fill you up. Finally, I'll say this: Every career I've ever had started life as a hobby. I've had an epic string of bad-ass jobs, and it's primarily through ensuring that my reach was further than my grasp. You will always have more fun, you will always impress more people, you will always learn more, and you will always make a greater mark on the world if you almost succeed at something noteworthy than if you hit something safe out of the park. Nobody gives a shit for bunters. You ever seen Tin Cup? Probably not. Not a lot of reason to watch golf movies. Lemme just say that I don't play golf, and I love that movie. Put it this way - anything with Kevin Costner, Renee Russo, Don Johnson and Cheech Marin can't be all bad, right? The reason I bring it up is the last line is something I really take to heart. I won't spoil it for you. And I won't give you further advice, other than to say that until your life is complete, you will never have a complete relationship... and that no one should go through life without feeling complete. Follow your bliss, damn the torpedoes, 2nd star on the right and on 'til morning, bring me that horizon. "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." - Red, The Shawshank Redemption
You will not have a happy relationship if you are not happy first. [...] until your life is complete, you will never have a complete relationship
Kleinbl00 hitting the nail on the head, folks.
This is why I love you, kleinbl00. Thanks for your insight. I think I've been much got the "happy-on-my-own" thing down - at least, I'm feeling pretty content and I'm not actively searching to be in a relationship. I've recently turned an offer of that down, actually. Ecstatic, overjoyed, nah. Maybe some days. But hey, why not shoot for it?
There is a person I want, who isn't good for me, and who I don't think I'll have (bc a combination of factors). But I refuse to settle. If I can't have him, I won't have nobody. So for now, I won't have nobody. But I'm using the time to have me, and all of me, the way I want me. I think this is better. Even if I may be turning down things. I trust if gold really were to show up I wouldn't be able to turn it down, but until that happens, I'm giving everyone a pass.
I've had a badge burning a hole in my pocket, thanks kb
Sage wisdom. A relationship won't make you happy if your sad or feel your life is missing something, but a relationship when you're already happy can make one even happier and life more fufilling. This is a HUGE one in my book for common mistakes, especially with younger people. They think a relationship is what they need to be happy or enjoy life, when I simply dont agree that is the case. You have to be good being alone, before you can be great with someone else.You will not have a happy relationship if you are not happy first.