"I just want to scream and break things and tell my business degree to go to hell and feel alive again!" You're not apathetic, which is a good thing. I'm not sure to what extent your hurt is, but I think you'd benefit from finding new outlets to pour out some energy. If writing and creating hurts, then try some exercise or playing music (not writing or composing, just literally bashing things to a slight rhythm or even any kind of structure or non-structure that is pleasing to your ear and heart). You chose an admirable route by helping your family and prioritizing them over yourself. You don't sound very selfish, so I won't doubt you'll find true friends at some point. Honestly though, half your friends may not be talking to you because university can be INCREDIBLY BUSY even in the down time and it's hard to keep in touch with friends from home. Or maybe some of them aren't the kind of friends you want. Just hang on bud.