Remember, everything will turn out ok, one way or another...

Thanks, no you weren't harsh - you made a lot of sense. I'm trying hard to better myself. Things happen and I don't always consider them big deals. I've lived on my own for 3years and never had to deal with another person so its a huge learning curve.

I feel horrid that I broke his trust like this. I never meant to hide anything. My friend was able to vouch for me saying that I was trying to tell him about the drugs but was super scared, couldn't figure out how to just say it. I owe her one.

Then like just now we were going over some of the money stuff and I was like, "Oh! This came across in my bank account recently." He was ticked off but understood that I didn't just mention X. I explained that it wasnt an attempt to hide it - it was just unimportant to me because of how long ago it happened and that they finally processed the payment recently hence our discussion.

He could at least understand that but would prefer me to think of these things before they post of give a heads up on "oh hey X is happening."

One thing I'm gonna work on is a list of things I think he should know about - financial, personal, health, etc., so that three aren't any secrets. Because, there should NEVER be secrets. I just suck at identifying information that could potentially blow up in my face. IE: The money stuff and even the drug stuff - I wasn't trying to hide it from him. It was blantaly on my phone and he grabbed it to take a picture and I didn't think twice about it.

So when he saw the messages and asked... I had a hard time explaining and he was furious. Didn't believe a thing I said, and that hurt because I finally got the balls to be honest about the struggle given the information he had. If I was really buy drugs or doing sneaky shit for real - it would've been better hidden. But it doesn't matter, I was struggling and hopefully I can figure myself out. I think that list will be helpful.