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comment by humanodon
humanodon  ·  4104 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Imagine if this were for the last time...

My close friends are scattered around the world and when we see each other, I can't help but wonder if it's the last time I'll see them. I don't mean this in a morbid way-- I don't think automatically that it means, "one of us may die before we meet again" but sometimes you just end up never seeing a person again, no matter how close you were.

One thing that I don't think people talk about much when talking about friendships is the role of proximity. Even the way it's expressed, denotes proximity of place, "my closest friends," "near and dear," "those that stand by you," etc.

Anyway, when we do meet, I do my best to stay in the moment and to resist the urge to relive the things we did together in the past. Sometimes it feels like the present is something we're escaping by enjoying each other's company, as if somehow we can suspend time and be the people we were.

This thing you're talking about is one of a few reasons why I don't take many pictures anymore. I like to remember things according to my impressions, as imperfect and vulnerable to time as it may be. Without that personal context, the pictures don't mean much, if anything. Because I choose to do things in this way, I also try to move on from things fairly quickly and to resolve not to go back to try to recreate things for myself.





mike  ·  4104 days ago  ·  link  ·  

With some friends you can actually count the number of hours remaining that you will spend with them. Someone you see two days a year for a total of 10 hours, 20 years left, that's 200 hours. What are you gonna do with those hours?

Proximity is important... the internet changes that experience of course. We are closer to those that were far away, but of course it's not the same.

I take a lot of pictures. I find that I remember the things I've taken pictures of and forget things I didn't. Maybe if you're always in the moment, the past doesn't mean as much, but I like a record of where I've been. It's why I keep a lot of journals - a family blog for example where I've recorded details and pictures over the past 5 years. I thought it would be good for my family, for my kids one day, but it's also good for me to go back and take a look. I remember a lot more.