>I was not prepared for the sense of accomplishment I felt, as I do not look at marriage as an accomplishment, -just a meaningful promise to each other where the real accomplishment is what precipitated the vows. Much to my surprise, in the days afterwards I felt like I had achieved something great. Like I had beaten Bowser. I honestly am still passively wrapping g my head around this one. I've never once felt the slightest bit that marriage equated to any sort of life milestone, -not even an insignificant one. Right now my running theory is that I'm simply not immune to a lifetime of cultural messaging, and because marriage is viewed as an accomplishment in our society, I feel accomplished. I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like for many women.

> Mostly things are exactly as they were before we were married. The difference is not tidal, but rather subtle and varied.

This is eerily similar to the situation I find myself in. It took me completely by surprise. People are congratulating me in belief and disbelief and I'm like, you know what... yeah. (And what's the alternative, to be argumentative these cultural messaging?) It's like we've taken a step into maturity, a further crystallization of a concept for life. That concept is still ours, intensely personal and unfolding. And I know what follows is this totally unglamorous difficult time. But I find myself saying, bring it on.

Thanks for writing, it's good to hear.