That's good. That's the kind of reality I'd like to exist in. Unfortunately I don't think it's always true for a lot of people online. Your advice was harsh - but I appreciated it, in part because of its harshness - and I did wonder if it would have been less harsh if my gender had been known.

I get this a lot. I think it comes from working in an industry were there is no time for bullshit and where only your friends will be honest with you. You're right - much of The Internet sucks ass at empathy.

I'd agree...though I think it also still plays into the male-dominated nature of the internet/forums/whatever. A guy doesn't have to state he's a male in order for it to play into the discussion; the gender is assumed.

Devil's advocacy:

1) Gender is one of the driving forces of interaction, regardless of your sexual persuasion. As Heinlein was wont to point out, eunochs do not create art.

2) There is no such thing as a gender-neutral person. Removing gender from a discussion is unnatural and alters the conversation.

3) Tradition holds the default gender to be male. This is not a GOOD thing, but it is a thing. So, in the unpoliced wilds of the internet where chances are good the person you're talking to IS male, it's natural to presume they're male and shape the conversation that way.